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Left maine at 830am Wednesday the 30th. Arrived at my cabin at 841am Thursday. We made great time traveling this year. Florida will be my home for the next 4 months. I love it here. This year I ...

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Memere visited me the other day. I know she’s dead. I have a tattoo of a monarch butterfly sitting on a rose. The other day after my friend worked my young horse u sat outside the barn talking to...

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Freaking out about money cutting the shit out of my wrist. Nothing to kill myself. Just the side.

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Ended up drinking Wednesday night. And have pretty much been drunk since. Sunday will be my shitty day. I am determined to be sober Monday morning. I have tickets for a meet and greet with blue O...

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Oh god this is so hard. I feel like shit. Ready to go out and get more vodka.

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I have my issues. Major depression, major anxiety, borderline personality disorder. They are the big reasons my parents don’t want me to move out. But fuck I would be less then a football field a...

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I’m drunk of course. It’s going to kill me at this rate. Why does my younger brother get what he wants. All I want is a small house smaller then a double wide put out buy the barn where myself an...

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I have been back since the 1st. And I hate it. Florida was so nice 70 at night 80-90 during the day. Living alone was lovely. Back home and I am already sick of the nephew So clingy and needy ...

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I have loved my time in Florida. It has been warm and wonderful. But I can’t wait to get home and see my family and other animals. I will be making a stop in Virginia to drop off the filly I bro...

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I’ve been in Florida 4 months 10 days. And I’m now home sick. I will be leaving here in 19 days. I miss my family and dog. And the two horses I left behind. I’m hoping to get the young horse I ...

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I know why I cut myself or hurt myself with salt and ice. I’ve been doing it for 24 years now. 4 weeks ago I had gone 10 months without hurting myself. Probably the longest I have ever gone. S...

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Cut again 2nd time in less than a month. The release felt great. Lots of stuff on my mind at the moment. Feeling pissed off and angry. Wanted to scream yell and throw things but cut instead.

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It’s been a week since a friend hung herself. I’m drunk and cut the shit out of my ankle. Not dealing well. The friend who hung herself lost her brother in July to work horrible house fire. ...

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The famIly has been threw hell. Her brother died in a house fire in July. An older brother got out and was able to save the father but couldn’t find the ladder to save his brother. When the broth...

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Drinking so I drank pretty heavy last week into this week unfortunaly. I really am trying to stop. This would be so much better. I moved back into the cabin the other day. Finally moved all my st...

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I’ve been in Florida for a month now. I am loving it. The two horses I brought here are also loving it. They seem so happy. Haven’t really gotten any riding in so far Fractured my ankle the beg...

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Ended up picking up a bottle of vodka Tuesday. Haven’t had much of it.

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Haven’t had a drink since Friday. I really want to but I haven’t. Will see how long I can fight it this time.

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I don’t write much anymore but I do follow my favorites. My drinking is out of control at the moment. I can go threw a gallon of vodka in 2 days. I’m hoping getting out of Maine for 5 months wi...

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Haha so I thought I was doing good for a few days but that went to shit yesterday when I got a big bottle of vodka and finished it off in only 2 days. So not good Starting to stress over my Flor...

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Yeah so I only stayed sober for like 2 weeks. Oh well. At this point I would rather be drunk then deal with life.

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8 days no drink. I am happy with that. Though I have turned to eating crappy junk food. But will deal with that later on.

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