Done drinking.
by The real me
Entries 72
Page 2 of 3
OD information
Im PridesAFiorDiLAbbra on OD. And can be reached at https://www.facebook.com/794062785
Yup
Had a feeling this was coming to an end after OD returned. I have loved reading all my friends adventures on here. OD was always my home so people can find me at PridesAFiorDiLAbbra or FB http...
Where to find me
I am posting back on OD had a lifetime membership and was able to recover my whole diary. If people’s want to read I’m under Pridesafiordilabbra. I am still reading all my favorites on here.
OD is home to me.
I’ve already written 2 entries on my old diary. I am lucky I had a lifetime membership. I never felt at home here like I did there. There are a lot of diarys here that I enjoy reading and keep...
AA
How does one do AA when they are terrified of groups? I need help I know it. I have looked into meetings but with the anxiety and panic of being around more than 2-3 people let alone driving thes...
Almost 4am
Depression is setting in. I haven’t taken my meds since April. I’m wishing I was back in Florida for the 3rd winter. I hate the fucking cold and snow. Already having panic attacks about going to...
Hoping
I am hoping OD comes back. I know it won’t be the same. But I have never felt like this was home like I did on OD. I don’t share like I did. I don’t have the friends I was so close to. I know if...
I miss you
I miss you grabing my knee to make me laugh calling it an octopus kiss. I wish you got had gotten to meet my first horse skippy who has been in heaven with you for 7 years. I wish you could hav...
Drunk
Can’t walk straight. Unfortunately won’t be able to visit the cemetery tomorrow.
Cemetery
Don’t know if I can bring myself to go to the cemetery Friday. It will be 17 years since pepere died been drinking way to much to the point of not being sober for days at a time. I just keep go...
Wrist
My wrist is looking like shit. Blisters are starting to burst. Been wrapping it in an ace bandage saying I sprained my wrist. Unfortunately I want to do the same thing to my ankle.
Wrist
My wrist is looking like shit. Blisters are starting to burst. Been wrapping it in an ace bandage saying I sprained my wrist. Unfortunately I want to do the same thing to my ankle.
Fuck
My wrist is more messed up than I thought it would be. Blisters forming and oozing. Skin is so discolored. Using an ace bandage saying I sprained my wrist. The spot is about an inch and a half b...
New way to self injury
Aresol can. To freeze the skin. You get the same result as salt and ice but much faster. Just fucked up the top of my wrist. Was not looking to SI but damn it felt good now the burn is setting ...
Fuck he's coming back to Maine
My oldest brother is coming back to Maine. There is a lot of shit that my mother knows about the destruction of my clothes shiting and pissing on them and hiding it around the basement. Stealing ...
Trigger
I have been home 9 days now and have cut 3 of those days. Friday nights cutting was pretty bad. My leg looks like shit. Thankfully it’s cold and rainy here so easy to cover up. I want to cut ag...
9 days
That’s how long I was sober. Unfortunately been drunk since Monday afternoon. Tonight ended up cutting the shit out of my ankle.
I have the shakes
Haven’t had a drink in 2 days. Woke up with my hands and head shaking. I really need to be able to clean this cabin I only have 4 more days here.
Stressing
I hate packing all my anxieties come out and I put it off to the last minute. I only have 10 days left here in Florida. Cleaning and loading all my stuff I have gathered in the last 4 months fre...
I'm ready to get home but not.
I love being in Florida for the winter. The last two winters have been great here. But after 4 months I’m ready to see my other horses and my dog again April 1st. Sucks that home is looking to ge...
Can't undo
So I cut. Nothing major but it hasn’t helped. I want to cut deep. I don’t want to kill myself. If I had the right bandages I would cut my calf deep. I havent felt this kind of need in years. It’s...
Cutting trigger
I want to cut so bad at the moment.
Lots on my mind.
Missing all the people I have lost in my life. A post came up on FB who would you like to sit with that is no longer around. This is my response. Mr Stanley drowns. Was a neighbor when we lived...
Scars
So one of my friends here in Florida finally asked about my scars on my arm. I’m not ashamed about them anymore. The new cuts are well hidden. And only people here know about them. I’m open to t...
Reality sucks
Just called my birth mother. We talk every once in a while. Usually never at night. She was clearly drunk. Though she could say the same about me. I try so hard to be sober I usually can make it...
Book Description
Trying to stay sober.