Public

Done drinking.

by The real me

Entries 72

Page 2 of 3

March 27, 2018

OD information

Im PridesAFiorDiLAbbra on OD. And can be reached at https://www.facebook.com/794062785


March 27, 2018

Yup

Had a feeling this was coming to an end after OD returned. I have loved reading all my friends adventures on here. OD was always my home so people can find me at PridesAFiorDiLAbbra or FB http...


February 20, 2018

Where to find me

I am posting back on OD had a lifetime membership and was able to recover my whole diary. If people’s want to read I’m under Pridesafiordilabbra. I am still reading all my favorites on here.


January 28, 2018

OD is home to me.

I’ve already written 2 entries on my old diary. I am lucky I had a lifetime membership. I never felt at home here like I did there. There are a lot of diarys here that I enjoy reading and keep...


December 13, 2017

AA

How does one do AA when they are terrified of groups? I need help I know it. I have looked into meetings but with the anxiety and panic of being around more than 2-3 people let alone driving thes...


December 08, 2017

Almost 4am

Depression is setting in. I haven’t taken my meds since April. I’m wishing I was back in Florida for the 3rd winter. I hate the fucking cold and snow. Already having panic attacks about going to...


October 18, 2017

Hoping

I am hoping OD comes back. I know it won’t be the same. But I have never felt like this was home like I did on OD. I don’t share like I did. I don’t have the friends I was so close to. I know if...


September 29, 2017

I miss you

I miss you grabing my knee to make me laugh calling it an octopus kiss. I wish you got had gotten to meet my first horse skippy who has been in heaven with you for 7 years. I wish you could hav...


September 28, 2017

Drunk

Can’t walk straight. Unfortunately won’t be able to visit the cemetery tomorrow.


September 28, 2017

Cemetery

Don’t know if I can bring myself to go to the cemetery Friday. It will be 17 years since pepere died been drinking way to much to the point of not being sober for days at a time. I just keep go...


July 21, 2017

Wrist

My wrist is looking like shit. Blisters are starting to burst. Been wrapping it in an ace bandage saying I sprained my wrist. Unfortunately I want to do the same thing to my ankle.


July 21, 2017

Wrist

My wrist is looking like shit. Blisters are starting to burst. Been wrapping it in an ace bandage saying I sprained my wrist. Unfortunately I want to do the same thing to my ankle.


July 19, 2017

Fuck

My wrist is more messed up than I thought it would be. Blisters forming and oozing. Skin is so discolored. Using an ace bandage saying I sprained my wrist. The spot is about an inch and a half b...


July 17, 2017

New way to self injury

Aresol can. To freeze the skin. You get the same result as salt and ice but much faster. Just fucked up the top of my wrist. Was not looking to SI but damn it felt good now the burn is setting ...


My oldest brother is coming back to Maine. There is a lot of shit that my mother knows about the destruction of my clothes shiting and pissing on them and hiding it around the basement. Stealing ...


April 09, 2017

Trigger

I have been home 9 days now and have cut 3 of those days. Friday nights cutting was pretty bad. My leg looks like shit. Thankfully it’s cold and rainy here so easy to cover up. I want to cut ag...


April 06, 2017

9 days

That’s how long I was sober. Unfortunately been drunk since Monday afternoon. Tonight ended up cutting the shit out of my ankle.


March 26, 2017

I have the shakes

Haven’t had a drink in 2 days. Woke up with my hands and head shaking. I really need to be able to clean this cabin I only have 4 more days here.


March 20, 2017

Stressing

I hate packing all my anxieties come out and I put it off to the last minute. I only have 10 days left here in Florida. Cleaning and loading all my stuff I have gathered in the last 4 months fre...


I love being in Florida for the winter. The last two winters have been great here. But after 4 months I’m ready to see my other horses and my dog again April 1st. Sucks that home is looking to ge...


March 11, 2017

Can't undo

So I cut. Nothing major but it hasn’t helped. I want to cut deep. I don’t want to kill myself. If I had the right bandages I would cut my calf deep. I havent felt this kind of need in years. It’s...


March 11, 2017

Cutting trigger

I want to cut so bad at the moment.


March 10, 2017

Lots on my mind.

Missing all the people I have lost in my life. A post came up on FB who would you like to sit with that is no longer around. This is my response. Mr Stanley drowns. Was a neighbor when we lived...


March 01, 2017

Scars

So one of my friends here in Florida finally asked about my scars on my arm. I’m not ashamed about them anymore. The new cuts are well hidden. And only people here know about them. I’m open to t...


January 03, 2017

Reality sucks

Just called my birth mother. We talk every once in a while. Usually never at night. She was clearly drunk. Though she could say the same about me. I try so hard to be sober I usually can make it...


Book Description

Trying to stay sober.