Since OD is shutting down....

by justme25

Entries 881

Page 1 of 36

1 hour ago


I checked the mail and received a good letter stating I’ll get help with my electric bill starting in October which is really good news. I’m happy to hear it. I’m still waiting to hear about CS a...

3 hours ago

Last night.

My daughter and I were laying in bed last night and before she fell asleep, she was telling me that she hates her Dad and that she didn’t enjoy spending time with him. I guess there was an incide...

6 hours ago


So I always manage to come across a Tik Tok that completely resonates with my situation. I just watched one about this woman talking about how BD’s just like the dynamic of you chasing them. It m...

21 hours ago


So we got up and did breakfast at McDonald’s and then went to my parents. We then went downtown for a little bit and then followed my niece home because it was her first day riding her bike and s...

1 day ago

I'm done talking.

People seriously interpret things the way they want to. For instance yesterday, I was telling my friend how I was worried that the girl he was with may not know that he’s a man whore and is tryin...

2 days ago


I just need to figure out a game plan and make it happen. It’s just depressing being where I’m at but until I make the steps to change it, it’s going to stay the same. Everyone is completely unhe...

2 days ago


So I’m really feeling pretty down and Summer just started. My daughter went with her big to the park and the dollar store. She wasn’t home an hour and was crying because she was bored. I don’t kn...

3 days ago


He called and talked to her. He managed to be demeaning yet again by criticizing my fucking couch and saying it smelled like pee. I don’t know what the fuck that has to do with him talking to my ...

3 days ago


So we went and saw my uncle today and drove down to see my Gramma’s headstone. Just 2 years ago she was there at the cemetery with us and now she’s gone. Ugh, my heart hurts. I’m glad we went and...

4 days ago

Last day of school.

I get my kid from school yesterday and we’re on the playground where she says she wants to call her Dad. He tells her he’s at the mall eating and getting stuff for his new job. Claims he’s far aw...

7 days ago

The game.

So yeah, I couldn’t sleep for shit last night. I was just too wound up and the cats were fighting. The one that I got spayed the other day shit in the kitchen so I had to clean that up at midnigh...

Okay so today he wanted to take her to which I respond with asking about the weekend as I don’t want to keep disrupting the school week and worry about her not getting enough sleep. He was into t...

May 31, 2023

Oh Man.

So I decided to message my friend that worked with him and he did in fact quit and was making at least $15/hr. I put it in the CS calculator and he could end up paying a pretty penny. I’m serious...

May 31, 2023

More lies.

So I talked to my lady over at CS today because I had a couple of questions. I told her that he had said something about quitting his job and she was going to send a wage verification. I’m not co...

May 30, 2023


I rescued a cat about 3 years ago because I thought it was mine that had went missing. Well it ended up not being mine but I kept it anyway because someone had found it and they weren’t able to k...

May 30, 2023


So yesterday we went to my brothers and decided to BBQ. He watched my kid so I could get my eyes checked. I ordered some new glasses. They weren’t the ones I wanted and they didn’t have the best ...

May 27, 2023

The weekend.

So I got her from school and fed her Taco Bell for dinner so she could go to my brother’s for a couple of hours. We talked about how my Mom is supposed to get all of my uncle’s stuff once he pass...

May 27, 2023


So last night someone posted needing a sitter for a little girl about the same age as mine and needs care starting on the 5th. I messaged the Dad and had arranged for them to come over and meet u...

May 26, 2023

Doing just fine.

Keep the comments coming you guys! I definitely appreciate all the love I receive on here. I really enjoy reading your inspiration and I can say that I’ve really learned a lot from other people’s...

May 26, 2023


So I seriously believe he made everything up about the new job. I went on Google and Indeed and didn’t find ANYTHING pertaining to even the city he claimed he was going to. I knew something was o...

May 26, 2023

It's done.

I went and got my envelopes and finished up the paperwork. It got mailed about an hour ago. I am just so glad to be done with it because it’s a lot of stuff to fill out and there’s a lot of crap ...

May 26, 2023

My decision.

So since last night when I asked him if we could discuss the Summer and then 2 hours later he responded with, “yeah” it made me remember all the times I had pleaded with him to get enrolled and t...

May 25, 2023


So I spent an hour waiting to get my oil changed. I’m so glad to get that over with. I also went and got my copies made that I need for the modification. I went to my parents for a little while t...

May 23, 2023


So I wonder if when we do get the change to talk, he’s going to come up with some bullshit excuse why he can’t go or doesn’t want to to and then he can plan another carefree Summer not working or...

May 23, 2023


Okay so didn’t really hear from him all weekend except last night when he asked what I was doing. My daughter called him a few minutes ago where he claimed to be working but couldn’t video chat a...

Book Description

I’m really not into switching to another site but it looks like OD is going offline in the next few days. I downloaded my diary but it looks way different and doesn’t seem like all my entries are in it and that makes me very sad. I’ve gone through so much in the past 3 years and everything is documented on OD.

Anyway, I’m just exhausted from work and school. I love that I have so much going on and I am creating a better future for myself but getting enough sleep is always a task. I still have to take TYlenol PM every night or else I will be wide awake until I do. I am just so sick of it. I miss being able to go to sleep on my own. There’s just so much going on nowadays and I don’t want to spend all my free time at home sleeping.

I got most of my homework done and I feel pretty good about that. I’m glad that i’m in an easy math class this semester because that is my toughest subject. I love my computer class because it’s stuff that I already know how to do, I’ll just get better at it and learn a few things along the way.

So it looks like I’ll be going to court on the 21st for my small claim lawsuit against the place that fucked me over on my car. I talked to the mechanic today that worked on it and he said that he would go to court with me but I never believe they’ll actually do what they say until the time comes. I really hope he does because his statement is really important and I just don’t know who else is going to come with me.

I still don’t have much to do with my family. My Mom is probably the biggest bitch I’ve ever known and I just can’t stand trying to talk to her one the phone. I called her yesterday to let her know when the court date will be because I couldn’t hear her because they were in the car with the windows down because they were smoking and I tried to tell her I couldn’t hear her and she got all defensive so I hung up. I was just too fucking tired to deal with her attitude and how rude she is to me so I hung up and went about my day.

I decided that if they don’t give me any money when they get their taxes that I will be completely cutting them out of my life. I helped them with $1,300 in the month that I borrowed her car and gave it back with a full tank of gas so I do expect even $40 when they get their taxes. Her and my Dad both told me that they would give me some but I really doubt they actually will because they NEVER pay anyone back and that’s why no one helps them anymore but I almost lost my car and got my cable shut off from helping them and I just feel like if they don’t even attempt to pay me back then they didn’t appreciate me helping. I know that I need to cross them off regardless if they pay me back or not but if I don’t hear from them when they get their taxes, that will be the last fucking straw for me. My family has done nothing but use me and shit on me my entire life so I don’t expect much but it’s just sad how much they have fucked me over and the negative affect they’ve had on my life.

It’s been nice to be off today and yesterday, it’s been much needed. I just feel like I never get enough sleep and being sleep deprived all the time is really not good. I’m glad to have just been at home to hang out, sleep, take a hot bath and get most of my homework done. I hate feeling like I never get enough sleep and I feel like I walk around like a zombie most of the time. What made it worse was having to get up 3 days in a row and 2 of those days was dropping my car off to get some shit fixed. It’s nice to take my car to the mechanic and not have to deal with a bunch of drama to get it back. I don’t have to worry about anything and that alone makes me grateful to have a different car.

My ex is still on my mind quite a bit, more than what i want him to be. I just can’t understand why I can’t just forget about him and move on. I’m still stuck on why he treated me so badly and how he did everything he could to convince me that it was completely acceptable for us to never see each other and that if was fine for him to never include me in his life at all. I was just fighting a losing battle and wouldn’t let go of it. I know that it’s because I had no one else and loneliness was a huge factor but I will NEVER again let someone talk to me like he did. Just because he didn’t call me names like my ex John did, doesn’t mean he was any less abusive. He said some of the most awful things about not only me but people I loved and cared about. He got sick pleasure from knowing how much he brought me down. My friend at work said that I need to find happiness within myself and she’s right. I need to work on myself and figure out my feelings towards my past before I try to find another relationship because it wouldn’t be fair if I met someone now because they would suffer from how others have treated me and I’m not ready to be with someone. Yeah it would be nice to have someone to do shit with in my free time and I would love the company but I need to figure out myself first. My ex left behind a very confused, hurt, shattered person and I need to fix what he did to me, not by finding someone new but learning how to be comfortable within myself and focus on school and work and just doing me before trying to bring someone into my life.