Entries 75

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I need to write a big entry this morning so I’m sorry if alot is going on. I got attacked by a bee and it flew in my breasts 🙃. But besides that little five second panic of me screaming and tear...

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I started writing and planning out my next novella. Nearly 2k words so far. I also finished First Kill, netflix’s lesbian ya tv show, very cheesy but I want another season atleast. I went out wi...

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I don’t know what to say here, I haven’t been feeling good these past few days. Not like myself. I have been showering and eating but I don’t care about anything. I just want to sleep. I will ad...

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That’s it that’s the title. I was talking to Joseph and I just felt something come over me. This feeling of emptiness, this feeling of pure nothing. I haven’t been having a good few days and I ...

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I wanted to write sometime nice or atleat detailed but it’s just not good right now. I finally got to cry over all of it and it’s not just Joseph. It’s other things irl I don’t feel brave enough ...

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Mom made me angry this morning but whatever. She did my hair and it looks great. Joseph and I are speaking, it’s nice but also painful. My body feels broken. My ankles hurt, I’m tired, I’m beate...

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I thought about it but yeah, he did. We had a conversation and he shared how he felt bad reading how much I was hurt. He shared his thoughts and I shared mine. I feel good that we spoke, God, wh...

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Bad news :( I am even sicker than before. At this point, I will need to talk to the store as I used all the headache medicine and I’ve almost used all the cold pills mom bought. She gave me some...

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I slept for awhile today. Joseph and I talked but it just made me feel worse. It’s pride month, it’s the summer I should be having a great time. But I’m not, I’m just not. I have to upload the e...

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how dare he even say that. He’s a liar, I tell myself this anytime I wanted to crack in tonight’s conversation. He’s a liar. He left you alone. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about you at all s...

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I don’t know what I want. I’ve been rereading comments here and Joseph’s messages over and over. I have been really sick. Eating hurts. I was so frustrated I hurt my leg but it’s better now. Con...

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I would never, ever use someone in a relationship. I loved him. I still do. I am not going to force someone to stay with me. Or try to convince them otherwise. That would be gross. Being told I ...

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I apologize if this is sudden, trust me I didn’t see this coming. J or Joseph, requested a break from us and honestly a break up. I had fears but honestly, I felt secure and confident. It hurt. ...

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I was trying to find the right day to write a new entry. I might have lost aid for sophomore year which…sigh. J’s friends like me, even if they are wary of me. I was smiling hard either way as it...

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Mom made me calamari and a yummy shrimp/bacon salad. J and I haven’t had much time to talk. I, had to gather my thoughts to write a entry. I really, truly did. I can’t stop thinking about how mu...

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Just finished my last class before finals are due with a blast. Skipped my second period, was gucem free pizza, candy and doughnuts over the last few days. I need to spend this free time studyin...

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I want to try sexting again for J but it feels gross. I don’t like being turned on, sorry, it’s just gross. I went to a specialist for my health issues and I was lost and I just wanted to go hom...

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I’m doing it again, doubting myself. I had a good week, weeks even, but this weekend has been bad. All I think about is our conversations And my fears. I applied for fall 2022 classes, if everyth...

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J and I had some hard talks today. He worries, that he not only makes me happy but depressed. I guess, maybe. I don’t know but I love J alot, he’s the softest, kindest, man I’ve ever met. I had ...

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J is so so nice ehehe. I was sad and made sure to pout and sniffle and message him. I wanted attention, sympathy and warmth and he immediately showered me with it. Sometimes, I wonder if they i...

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Stalking J’s Twitter is something I try not to do often because I see comments that make me jealous. I used to breakdown with my ex doing this and I remember I laid in bed, crying and screaming i...

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I had nachos for dinners and cheese fries for lunch! Yummy! I haven’t done much today. My brain is still depressed from everything that’s been going on, I started a few assignments for finals tho...

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I had applied for join my university’s newspaper for the summer and I got a interview! So excited so happy! I cannot wait to do it, this is one step towards my dream. But that dream is hanging o...

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Soon it will be J’s birthday! I’m so excited, he said he doesn’t want anything besides me to VA for one of his projects. I’ve never voice acted before but I’ll do it for him. J’s explained he’s n...

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I have had a average time. J is nice, he is such a caring and selfless person. Recently, I’ve started asking online in various reddit and forums how to become unbroken. I don’t like that I have ...

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