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Dream Paralysis
I felt that weight on my chest. I laid myself down on my sofa to rest up and I woke up on my bed. I wasn’t awake but I was conscious. If that makes sense. I started my way out of bed only to snap...
2.22
Lately a lot of my thoughts have been manifesting. Small things like a random craving for an Indian dish that an employee of mine made me once. She surprised me with it the next day. Other things...
Speechless
I have been pretty speechless. I am not sure what happened but my depression undermined all the hard work I had put into myself this last few years. I didn’t exactly fall apart and lose control o...
Fading
I had everything under control until I relapsed with my anxiety and depression. It started a couple weeks when everything blew up in my face at work. I had the business sitting pretty, we were th...
I still get jealous
I woke up feeling pretty bummed out. My mind is comparing myself to the success of others and it is making me jealous. There is a young woman in my city I follow on Instagram, she bought a beauti...
Instawhore moment
Gains for somebody like me is hard to get. I am already naturally too thin and I just altered my diet to lower my body fat so I can look more cut instead. Basically I am trying to get my abs to c...
Question
I’m sitting in my dark room where I have spent most of my day. At my computer desk with my scented candle and my lemon, mint water. I have instrumental music playing in the background and I’m try...
Nice Try Universe.
I been seeing 2:22 everywhere and my superstitious side has been waiting for something to manifest in my life. I assumed that yesterday something would happen when a guy I have a small crush on w...
When I grow up
About a month ago I think I figured out what I want to be when I grow up. I had a passion this whole time and I didn’t even realize what it was. Nutrition. I have a career counsellor that I am go...
Passenger
Everything is going right on all fronts. I’m finally running my own store at work. I’ve bounced back from Christmas in record timing. My physical health has never been better. My relationship wit...
Skin Deep
I got myself so flustered this morning when I woke up. Yesterday I did everything I didn’t want to do. I went out to eat, I went shopping and made purchases that I did not need, I went to the cas...
Dumb drama
I don’t know what I was expecting when I got all my friends back together last night. I mean we had a blast and we were beside ourselves that we were all together again. My birthday was a good ex...
Salty
I’ll be honest, the vegan jokes get to me. We had our annual gathering for our birthdays and we always order pizza but I made my own and let everybody try some. I made good shit, way better than ...
Anger
I was carrying so much anger yesterday. I am feeling it today also. I can barely contain it. Control it? I feel powerless in a lot of the circumstances that make me feel so trapped right now but ...
2017 Reflection
Every time I visit my mother we end up in a debate or argument about my vegan lifestyle. Today she was extra judgmental and opinionated about a lot things and situations in my life. When did we b...
Harvey Weinstein situation
My operations manager is allegedly fraternizing with his assistant from the store that I worked at last year. That assistant and I were pretty close during our time together. My operations manage...
My name is human
I don’t know how to make sense of this experience but I dove deep into myself yesterday. Through all the appointments and notifications and into the thoughts that I don’t like to think about. I w...
Slay
My social anxiety is pretty high right now for the lamest reason. Tyler is moving to a different province and tonight is his goodbye party and I just don’t know why I have been obsessing over how...
Imploded
I don’t know what came over me yesterday. I spent a chunk of my morning laying on the floor in my room. I couldn’t catch my breath. My chest was too tight and my heart was pins and needles. I had...
Push
Out of nowhere my anxiety has returned and I do not care that it is back. I just realized that I had let it make all my decisions this week. All the wrong ones. The easy ones. The do nothings. . ...
One Day Or Day One
I feel so unfocused when I have my snap streaks to keep up with and when I start to fill in the voids with scrolling through Facebook and Instagram. A couple weeks ago I deactivated my Facebook a...
Midlife crisis on route
I was cleaning up my facial hair situation when I accidentally fucked it all up and had to remove it all to reset it. I had a goatee for a year now. I liked how people treated me differently. I w...
Somebody
Things that triggered my depression do not trigger me anymore but I still have been feeling down lately. I am lonely. I wish I had a companion. When my 2 year old niece laughs or smiles she looks...
Move along
Today was a little interesting. Work has been getting a little toxic for me lately. Today I accidentally told my boss how I have been feeling. I call it an accident because I haven’t even told my...
Depression is no longer a part of me
My body has been going through some changes lately but I noticed a change in myself that is major. I have been living with depression for as long as I can remember and I honestly couldn’t imagine...
Book Description
Things happening in my life currently