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I made a pact with myself that I wouldn’t go window shopping today. So, while I was window shopping today I managed to spook myself. I was annoyed by how powerless I was to my impulse to leave a...

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I’m trying to get my spending under control. My window shopping is still out of control but I’m not making superfluous purchases. I’m at least good at convincing myself that what I want is a mus...

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I forget that my roommate has a Virgo moon. She would be matching my clean and organized energy if it wasn’t for her dumb cow’s disease. She is a Taurus. A lazy Taurus. I think she has an Aries ...

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Today was a success. I’m a little choked up about it because it was absolutely wonderful. We had a feasting ceremony with our participants. All but one made it. They brought their families. We h...

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The plan was to go all out at the gym this morning but I have a bit of a sinus cold. My body needs rest. I’m not coughing or sneezing. It’s just like someone left the faucet running. I’m a freak...

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Our communications director came to my office to praise me for the photos I took of our group program last weekend. He was very excited. They are the best shots he’s been sent. He can use them f...

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On the first Thursday of every month, my organization has a piping ceremony. Andy took me to that first thing this morning. It was beautiful. This is what I wanted when I first applied. I wanted...

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They’re just thoughts. I started to remind myself. I see you. I know what you are and you can’t hurt me anymore. This put my Life Dysmorphia into remission. It created a healthier relationship w...

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Not me trying to induce depression. It’s been over two months without any mood disorder episodes. It was very concerning for me on my ride to the gym this morning. Is this normal? This was n...

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Diego practices our culture, I asked him yesterday if he ever participated in a Sundance Ceremony. He has been participating every year for the last five years. This is part of his recovery jour...

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Am I self-validating my experience? Riddle me that. My therapist wants me to explore that question whenever I am feeling some type of way. Is what I am experiencing representative of reality? I...

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At the end of my therapy session, my therapist realized that we barely even had a session. It was more like two friends catching up and shooting the shit. We should just be friends and talk off ...

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I’m at a point… but I don’t know the point. Being numbed out came with my mood disorders, which are still awol. Instead of suppressing my emotions, I make space for them. They have mass, I know...

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All I need is a little crisis to get motivated, apparently. To avoid feeling anything, I worked on my list of things that I avoid. My grandmother is in the hospital again. She is getting surgery...

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I’m stewing on my eBook. I’m not avoiding it. I don’t want this to be another thing that I start and never finish. In a captured essence, we have lightworkers but I want to make room for shadow ...

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I’m not comfortable at my new job just yet. Yes, it is a new workplace but also a new workforce. I am giving myself a lot of grace while I adjust. I don’t adapt to change well. Externally, I do....

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And now, a song from the heart: My roommate is a big fat cow. The biggest cow in the whole wide world. She’s a lazy cow, a crazy cow, she is such a stupid cow. My roommate is a cow she is such a...

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My weekend is pretty booked up. Ange is picking me up in a few hours and we are hitting up all of the thrift stores as we can. We are also going to the big farmers market. I was able to tell tha...

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I met with my first youth yesterday. Andy had Diego and I join in on his one-on-one. We ordered a pizza, made medicine bags, watched a short movie, and then played Fortnite for most of the after...

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They’re just thoughts. They’re just thoughts. They’re just thoughts. It is getting harder to remind myself. Progress isn’t linear. There are always setbacks. Our HR explained this during our ori...

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Today was even longer than yesterday. I have a lot that I need to read. Every other job I’ve had trained with online modules. I’m not good at reading so I am plowing through it at a glacial pace...

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My first day was a long one. It was just a lot of information to take in. I had a group orientation that lasted five hours. Then IT helped set me up with my laptop. My desk is full of stationery...

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One day, I’m going to snap. I’m going to drag my roommate into the kitchen by the ear to show her what a kitchen looks like after I’ve been in there all day. This is demure, this is mindful. Se...

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I haven’t been able to connect to anything that I am passionate about. This is why I decided to sign up for a master class about the metaphysical teachings from the Bible. A Bible study group, i...

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If my heart could beat it would break my chest. The physical symptoms of anxiety have been made manifest. There is a tightness in my chest. Physical pain is easy. I am lucky that this anxiety ha...

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