Entries 1,622

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We took our kids north to go tubing down a river. It was beautiful there. The kids were complete kids about it. They had a blast. Last night, I dreamt that I walked out on it and quit my job. In...

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I thought I was about to witness a miracle. Last week, my roommate was so close to producing an original thought. Do normies have two aluminum-free brain cells to rub together? Question of the...

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Last night I dreamt that I was back to working at the home hardware store. I was not happy about it. The dream actually woke me up. This time last year, I was working there and I was strugglin...

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I don’t get to say this often, but thank god it’s Friday. I’ve been so disconnected from myself. Detached. I’m very aware that I have surrendered to my dopamine loops. A little suffering is goo...

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Things happen in threes I kept telling myself on Monday. A participant in a youth program at my office died by suicide over the weekend. A participant in my own program was hospitalized becaus...

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Yesterday was a heavy one. We learned that a participant in one of our youth programs died by suicide over the weekend. He was in the program I interviewed for. It is for youth transitioning ou...

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I really am a monster, sometimes. I don’t know why my mind needs to create an enemy construct. My roommate is not a bad person. She is not a good person; she is a whole person. I really have i...

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I can tell that my roommate is going through it, and I’m like… maybe she should be depressed. If I were her, I wouldn’t want to wake up and be happy with myself. If I start living my life the wa...

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It was explained to me that I am going to run my coordinator out of a job. He wasn’t in again today to answer questions that topside had about our program. He wouldn’t have been able to answer...

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I feel inspired to paint. I can feel that itch stirring. I was admiring the artwork in the hotel lobby yesterday. I am going to have to check on my inventory. I stopped painting the moment it d...

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I can’t sleep. My mind is racing about work. I feel like my brain is trying to manifest another promotion offer. We haven’t had a Programs Director since January. If that position opens up, I wi...

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There was a meeting with the new Youth Manager and all the top executives about our programs. He was filling us in a bit, but then told us that the Assistant Director went on and on about me. Sh...

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I’m failing to regulate It’s hot as balls out. I’m on the tail end of a cold. I have been up since 3:30 this morning. Things are getting to me today. I had it under control until I didn’t. This...

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We were the flag carriers for the opening ceremony. There were 1000 people in the room, and I wasn’t nervous until I saw that my +1 made it to my table. My organization held a huge event to ho...

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Well, I booked my flight to BC for the end of August. I am going for 10 days. I’m visiting my brother and my nephews. I have zero interest in sightseeing. I’ve never cared about BC in my life. T...

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Holy fork balls I might have secured my program 600k from another funder to fund my program for four years. We are the most underfunded program at my organization. I don’t think we are underfun...

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The best-case scenario for my car fell through. When I called on Saturday, the woman didn’t understand my perfectly good English. This is Canada now. I knew this was going to go well after that....

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Tomorrow is the battle with my car. Today, I decided to take on my ribbon shirt. I spent a few hours trying to figure out that damn sewing machine. You know mansplaining? Shelaborates. I felt li...

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Car trouble was not on my bingo card for today. Yesterday I had a moment when I couldn’t turn my car on. Today, I couldn’t get it to turn off. I pulled up to my gym, and it wouldn’t turn off. ...

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Yesterday, we had a mini-event at work that I put together. I was so nervous that everything would fall apart, but it didn’t. I watched Wilfred Buck’s documentary on Crave and then reached out t...

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The saga continues. Our office lost another employee—a coordinator. The one from the program I look up to. He led with soul. There was nobody better at what he did. He had a strong relationship ...

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I was worried that insomnia was going to be a mini-series for me. It wasn’t a problem last night. I got more than two hours of sleep. I could feel that I was running on adrenaline the whole day....

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I’m tossing and tortured till dawn. The honeymoon phase is over. I’m starting to have animosity toward work. I cannot sleep because my brain decided that I needed to be upset at my boss. Rage i...

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All I need is time. A moment that is mine. I can be intense. I try to edit myself for world peace, but my face acts like subtitles. I don’t want to be toxic, but I want to be toxic. I’m not a...

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I woke up in the middle of the night feeling like I was being carved out from the inside. The pain was crippling. Literally, I could not move. This is what happens when I eat bread, but even tha...

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