Public

Musings

by youjusd0ntkn0

Entries 101

Page 2 of 5

I know that I overthink everything and I am always waiting for the ground to cave beneath my feet… I have a really, really strong feeling that Liam is completely and utterly harmless; if anythin...


His name is Liam… And he’s bad… He’s bad, bad, bad for me… Yes Alex and i parted ways amicably. Liam is everything that I had a ‘do not cross’ tape over—he’s heavily tattooed, he’s Puerto Rican, ...


June 16, 2019

Karma

I sold my soul to the devil a long time ago. So don’t fuck with me, because I am an egotistical, selfish and hedonistic patriot. I’m not a physically aggressive person and murder isn’t my thing—b...


One of my biggest pet peeves about being a hairstylist is, I do not like women who sit in my chair and have no fucking clue what they want to do with their hair… and say to me “do whatever you wa...


I hate that for me to gain any sort of respect I have to play the rich boy card.... like I might look like trash but I’m dressed in Balenciaga, carrying an Hermés bag living in a 8500 sq ft apart...


May 02, 2019

Husband ruminations

He’s smart as fuck, but I’m a helluva lot smarter. He has always kind of disagreed with my obnoxious intelligence… but it’s also the reason why he keeps marrying me… I am obnoxiously intelligent ...


The very thing I love about him, I hate about him in this battle of paradoxes… And I’ve also felt this way about Alexander… and most definitely know that I’m in some sick competition with him tha...


April 23, 2019

Fuck You Mom.

Easter was a bust. A mega bust. Everything and every move that I made I was reprimanded for… “Andres! Uncross your legs!” “Andres sit up straight, like a man!” “Andres! Why is your hair frizzy!” ...


April 16, 2019

I am my own monster

I sat in my bullshit luxury apartment’s bathroom… in the corner contemplating if I should just drink the Clorox or slap the rest of my Ativan down my throat and end everything… I’m so tired, I’m ...


April 03, 2019

I'm very simple

You think that giving me a diamond bullshit piece of jewelry is what I want to remember when my mother is dying?!?! And yes maybe I was extremely irate. I hadn’t slept, i drank all night with my ...


I believe that when you are spiritually weak evil shit comes to you. It’s like a vulture, eat the dying Carcass. I’m not in my right state of mind and I’m lashing out in different directions. Th...


I always begin to write in you and I fall asleep and I wake up and I’m numb from the hurt. Aging is an awful way to die… i wanna go on my terms, not because I’m old. Alex is wonderful. I mean he’...


December 27, 2018

Learn something!

Let me explain to you something… even as a child, playing video games, I never played on Easy mode—I always played on Hard mode. Spider Man vs Kingpin 24-hours you had the choice of 3 lives or 1 ...


December 14, 2018

I don't do revenge

I woke up and felt like something was missing… like that weird phenomenon, you have something on the tip of your tongue but you can’t exactly say it.... I took the train and transferred, I was pl...


December 12, 2018

The Hippocrisy of Forgiveness

I know that it sounds bourgeoisie and stuck up… but everything that I am and everything that I worked for is exactly where it should be. I fucking smell like Tom Ford parfum, I have a Gorksi chev...


December 07, 2018

Weird. Destiny. Sex. Diamonds.

White boys just don’t get me. Thank God I’m with Alex and although he’s a white boy, he knows that I’m not a boy that he has to understand, he’s just like “that’s my babe, don’t disrespect him—yo...


November 16, 2018

The million ramblings

“It’s just a little snow Andy, c’mon stop being a princess!” Alex said as we walked out way to our apartment… First of all I am not a fucking princess… however, I have 1500$ shoes on trudging in ...


October 26, 2018

Let's be normal(?)

It’s been 25 years that my grandmother has left us… it’s so weird to me that I was 6-7? Years old and I’m the only person who remembers her… I remember her so clearly… there are times I’m rushin...


October 23, 2018

I love you Grandma.

I consider myself a rational man… I consider myself a very educated man… however, there are something’s that supercede my book knowledge and coalesce into a spiritual realm. My cousins chatter be...


October 20, 2018

Rest In Peace, Grandma

“I got your back babe! Fuck them!” Yeah I hear you Alex… but I’m always in your shadow… I’m tired of telling white people that I’m fucking gorgeous, tan, with dark hair and Asian slitty eyes and...


I never get into political debates or anything polarizing with any of my friends, any of Alex’s friends or strangers, for that matter. I have a very clear idea of what I look like decked out in l...


September 21, 2018

Black Licorice

I’m like black licorice. Either you love me or you fucking hate me. Through the years of being absolutely loved and hated by friends and friends of friends, I’ve realized that I’m not everyone’s ...


I do love Alex being back in my life… I feel like he respects me more as an equal, as a man, and he tries really hard to take part of my life, my interests, my endeavors and my business. He didn...


August 25, 2018

Triggered

My movie producer friend wanted to do some research in domestic violence across all spectrums… man on woman, woman on man, man on man etc. And he wanted to talk to me about somethings… I feel lik...


I’m getting so weirded out by this marriage situation. He wants the ceremony to be done by the fall of next year and he’s single handedly doing his own research. Honestly, I don’t know if I want...


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