My Mother is Being Stolen From Me... in Musings

I believe that when you are spiritually weak evil shit comes to you. It’s like a vulture, eat the dying Carcass.

I’m not in my right state of mind and I’m lashing out in different directions. The people I hurt the most Are the people closest to me… and unfortunately that’s Alex, my sister, victor and Jennifer.

There’s nothing to prepare you for your parents death… I know it’s coming soon and she’s in the hospital and been there for 3 weeks and I’m exhausted… I have to always pretend like I’m okay—apparently having a college degree makes you qualified to decide on the fate of your parent by your older siblings.

I don’t fucking know… and it’s gonna sound do asshole—but I have enough money and enough investments that I can pay for everything she needs, whatever her health insurance is lacking I can pay but that doesn’t mean I’m the most qualified person to make sure she’s living the best she can and I’m not present enough to know all of her medical conditions… my sister is privy to her medical history, my brother is privy to her medical history—I’m not privy to any of them… I’m the baby of the family and I was never burdened with the task of knowing anyone’s medical history… my brother, sister and mother are very aware of my medical conditions but I’m not aware of theirs.

I just wanna be left alone and sob and be with my mom as I see her leaving me..

She’s being stolen from me piece by piece.