anticlimatic ⋅ 40

Fool and contradiction.

Entries 116

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February 25, 2022

Once I dreamt in anticlimatic

I remember sitting on the couch of my parents living room watching something strange and British on PBS. Outside it was a very dark spring day. Dark green shadows and showers streaked down the wi...


I keep trying to imagine what it would be like to suddenly arm up with rifles and head downtown to defend the neighborhood from invading killers armed with their killing machines. I wonder if I w...


February 20, 2022

A blasphemous moon rises in anticlimatic

I feel like there is an old familiar moon rising in my life after a long hiatus. Maybe others feel something similar? What with the days getting brighter, the snow getting lower, and the Covid-er...


This took a bit longer than it should, but I’m quite pleased with the result. 1) Scrape wall paper dry. 2) Spray remaining wallpaper with wallpaper remover and scrape the rest. 3) Drill holes in ...


February 13, 2022

Live From Here! in anticlimatic

It has very recently come to my attention that the NPR program “Live From Here!” was canceled way back Early Pandemic When, spring of 2020, with little ceremony- not so much as any kind of finale...


January 23, 2022

Here for the party in anticlimatic

It’s interesting– on a very deep level I need to be connected to society. There is just something that is so fundamental to human satisfaction at the heart of it. Sharing things, with others; see...


I’ve been hitting the Mazzy Star a little too hard this week. Something about it just pairs so well with winter; that empty, echoing, deadness. Could be because the particularly memorable winter ...


December 27, 2021

The Wet Years in anticlimatic

I swear I can feel my body breaking down in real time; moving maybe not rapidly but at least steadily towards spectacular collapse. Maybe it’s my 40th birthday just around the corner. Maybe it’s ...


December 12, 2021

The Garden in anticlimatic

Something peculiar has happened to my memory over the last few years- how I experience my memories, rather. I don’t know if it’s the darkening authoritarian age, my dad dying, or settling down an...


December 10, 2021

Disparity in anticlimatic

When did disparity become a fundamental religious problem? Who would want to live in a bland, hierarchically homogenous society? As though it could stand on its own two feet for more than five se...


November 30, 2021

Winter Memories in anticlimatic

My girlfriend claims the aesthetic of our house is built for winter, and I am inclined to agree. Physically and practically, not so much- I’ve got countless draft points plugged with all sorts of...


When I think of college, two images flash my mind. The first is a tall doorway casting yellow light into bitter falling snow. The second also features yellow light, coming out of a square window ...


November 19, 2021

Cameras in the dark in anticlimatic

When we were kids, my brother and I got our hands on our parents point and shoot film camera one night after lights out, and discovered a really fun game. If the camera is empty of film, but stil...


Almost snapped at work today. I could feel this pressure of expectation from so many people, surrounding me- pinning me against the cold reality of tasks I quite simply did not feel up to. Unfort...


November 05, 2021

Peter Pan at the window in anticlimatic

What is the point of growing up except to fulfill the fantasies we had as children? What other meaning could there be? We know meaning is relative, and manufactured by the individual- with or wit...


October 26, 2021

Oh my darlin' in anticlimatic

One of the first things I remember was receiving a spinal tap when I was three. At birth, I had a collapsed lung, and was only saved by the miracles of 1980s medicine. But when I was three the gl...


Honestly, I hate politics- but lately I’ve been thinking about family and community. I’m very close to my family, my brothers and I share a business together, and our microcosm is as marxist as i...


At night I lie down, fight my girlfriend and cats for a corner of the king sized bed, and watch the blue shadows crawl the wall until the clock pushes past 5:00 AM. I put a kettle on and read the...


September 12, 2021

To Boldly Go! in anticlimatic

What an interesting day, logistically speaking. At one point my fair lady dragged me somewhat against my will into a haunted house, paid for the tickets, and then shoved me in front of her once w...


August 29, 2021

Closing Time in anticlimatic

I have been in the bad habit lately of typing out entries, mostly just out of a need to write, feeling satisfied with the writing process, and then deleting them instead of posting them. Not in a...


It’s strange to endure hateful things on the promise of a better tomorrow. My eyes feel like they have been ground into dirt- the dirt I walk back and forth through. It’s like the more hateful th...


August 05, 2021

Navigating Novelty in anticlimatic

On the bedside table in my room at the family cabin is a photograph of my dad standing, shirtless, in front of his newly minted pond. The rocks are all clean and orderly, and on the porch just be...


July 18, 2021

It Hurts in anticlimatic

Yesterday I went over the handlebars of my bicycle at the end of my walkway. I was leaning out over them, and my tire struck a rut I didn’t anticipate. I balanced on top of them for just a moment...


The best part about reading for me is an effect that radiates briefly after the act of reading itself, and doesn’t linger. Routine reading is necessary to perpetuate it, and the author matters gr...


I think I’ve thought of the saddest moment there is. Imagine having the responsibility of being present while a dependent of yours died. Someone who trusted you- who looked to you for help, who l...


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