littlefallsmets ⋅ 46 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,475
Page 70 of 219
understood but not spoken in poetry
I’m burdened with knowing a language that I cannot myself speak the language of music oh, I can re-write the lyrics of others pretty well and can carry a half-a-tune I can ...
july 28 in idea barrages
“Vagina dentata is such an ugly term,” she said, “I prefer to say… Georgia O’Teeth.” Look J. Jonah Jameson square in the eye and whisper, in your best eastern European accent “In Soviet Russi...
july 27 in idea barrages
They say “Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Death”, they mean “Give Me Liberty Even If It Means Your Death”. An Eminem parody built around the line “Whoops, there goes Hannity” would be fun. If yo...
july 26 in idea barrages
If you work out to death, you are visited by the gym reaper. I have little risk of such an encounter. Here we are on the precipice of a disaster we cannot imagine and that is why we fail, a l...
july 25 in idea barrages
A rapping rabbi called Biggie Schmaltz. Possibly assisted by Sean “Purim” Combiwitz. It is impossible to see a picture of Pete Davidson in 2020 without thinking “The quarantine has been reall...
july 24 in idea barrages
Sean Bean, Billy Beane and Rowan Atchinson’s shared podcast THREE BEAN(E) CASSAROLE. It’s like Jaws except about a sasquatch, it’s called FEET and the catchphrase is “We’re Gonna Need A Bigge...
july 23 in idea barrages
Power fantasies about violent revolution are just as cruel, impotent, counter-productive & inhumane on the left with guillotines as they are with assault rifles on the right. Society is too...
Before it became The Suburbs, the San Fernando Valley north of Los Angeles was just a bunch of orange groves. You can still receive lectures from local old-timers about those days, whether they a...
july 22 in idea barrages
Payouts at a horserace are set by first determining the likelihoods of wins and losses via a Gallop Poll. A Hall and Oates parody about Flo on ALICE. “My grits, my grits, that you should kiss...
july 21 in idea barrages
If you misheard the lyrics as “Splinter taught them to speak Japanese” you’d only be literally wrong but right within the spirit of the cartoon’s canon. I can only hear the Popeyes jingle as ...
july 20 in idea barrages
As a teenager, Richard Nixon was a carnival barker for the Slipper Gulch Rodeo, which served as a cover for an illegal gambling operation. (A) Yes, of course. (B) How did you all not call him “...
july 19 in idea barrages
You know what would be a hoot? Opening a bar in the expensive suburbs of D.C. called “Undisclosed Location”. Run into the deli yelling “MATZO MATZO MAN, I WANT TO SEE THE MATZO MAN!” Probably...
july 18 in idea barrages
If you manage to get President Zachary Taylor to roll over in his grave, you’ll really flip your whig. An unpretentious pornography shop for the common man called “Everyday Peepholes”. A ph...
july 17 in idea barrages
In honour of Little Richard, the song for the dog is “GOOD GOLLY, IT’S OLLIE, HE’S FAT LIKE A HOG, OOOOOO”. He can’t enjoy the Pokemon games, due to his crippling Blastoise intolerance. Ima...
prompt: just, title: you won't believe your eyes in misc. flash fiction
They say “necessity is the mother of invention”, and while that’s often true, it omits the part where necessity often also skips right past intention, how so many of our great leaps forward devel...
july 16 in idea barrages
Whoever wrote the line “But Patty likes to rock and roll, a hot dog makes her lose control” knew EXACTLY what they were doing there and you will never convince me otherwise. Build a really ge...
july 15 in idea barrages
An Ernest P Worrell themed episode of DRAG RACE called “Camp Goes To Ernest” Somehow, the least believable part of the horror that is 90 Day Fiancee are the couple who go to bed with, and wak...
july 14 in idea barrages
The Australian superhero who fights crime with super projectile vomiting is called Chunderwoman, by the way. An Amish metal band called RAMMSPRINGA. Uncommissioned erotic fan fiction includ...
july 13 in idea barrages
The newest friend request from an obvious pornbot was “Harris Vivian” which, like, I will give them this, an American woman’s name with the first and last name reversed IS slightly more believa...
it's not exactly change in poetry
we each live inside the nexus of our hopes and our horrors our imaginations and our ires and our deepest weirdest desires at a multiplicity of identities at the solstic...
july 12 in idea barrages
It’s… beginning to look a lot like Christmas… aaaaaand it really bloooows… 745 am Saturday May 9th 2020. I wake up to the world in a coffee stained Mets shirt. The “president” is a fascist f...
july 11 in idea barrages
Your new signature bagel will be the Asiago Osbourne. A serial killer who makes his living as a short order cook called The Griddler. If David Blaine ever injured himself during one of his ...
july 10 in idea barrages
Are vegan goths “veglords”? If you’re in the arts for fame, seek help, the desire for fame for it’s own sake “Americans’ Disease” is a mental illness. If you’re in the arts for money, you’ve ...
july 9 in idea barrages
The only proper pet-name for a vegan lover is a “Cutie-Tofutti”. Russian for “jetski” is “jetskiski”. Tomorrow, in Utah, they celebrate Cinco de Mayonnaise and they just do mayo shots with ...
prompt: rain (2) / title: a pilot's tale in misc. flash fiction
At first, they were just thankful that there were no casualties and minimal injuries, all aboard able to walk away from the plane crash, probably due to the fact that sand dunes are far more forg...
