july 25 in idea barrages

  • July 24, 2020, 11:16 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

  1. A rapping rabbi called Biggie Schmaltz. Possibly assisted by Sean “Purim” Combiwitz.

  2. It is impossible to see a picture of Pete Davidson in 2020 without thinking “The quarantine has been really hard on Ellen Degeneres.”

  3. A mash-up of fiction and history starring Ernesto “Che” Worrlara called ERNESTO SENDS YOU TO THE CAMPS. His catchphrase will be “Comprende, Fidel?”

  4. The pursuit of anything through violence or the threat of violence will only corrupt you and corrupt your goal as well, no matter how noble, no matter how “right”. At best, you will have your goal for a generation or so until you are usurped by people worse than those you killed off.

  5. A decent alternate title for BRAVEHEART would be THE LONGSHANKS REDEMPTION.

  6. “Yeah the Vikings had battle axes, that’s cool, but do you know what’s really cool?” Justin Timberlake whispers to you “Poland has a war saw.”

  7. Some of these “my right to go to Dave & Busters is being infringed” idiots, I love the ones in camo the most, as if they believe that then the COVID won’t see them. (As an aside, isn’t a protest about visibility? “Why are all these misspelled signs floating?)

  8. With the ridiculously early “soft re-openings” that are happening and the “it’s party time” interpretation by magical thinking idiots, I guess the next wave of infections and deaths is coming… two to four weeks away. Goddamn us all, I guess.


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