littlefallsmets ⋅ 46 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,384
Page 190 of 216
Understand that your perspective is not universal. The raccoon looks upon a man and thinks “the bald ape has raccoon hands!” The octopus thinks “the bald ape has lost both of its limb...
313 in idea barrages
1.) Though Snoop popularized trolling white people by pretending Dr. Seuss word were cool slang, “fleek” was the troll masterstroke. 2.) I demand an ear nose and throat doctor who is a giant talk...
312 in idea barrages
1.) Take the old videos for the Harlem Shake meme. Replace the audio track with ambient noise of white people clumsily dancing. 2.) A Southern pirate called Cornbeard The Pirate. 3.) If a dog yea...
what you could do in poetry
What you could do is beat someone to death with the world’s largest gummy worm. Then eat the gummy worm. Hope the lack of evidence exonerates you. Make sure you use an actu...
What which does not kill you hopefully leaves a cool lookin’ scar that will drive the babes wild. What which does not kill you only leaves you soft and weak and hobbled an...
311 in idea barrages
1.) What does not kill you hopefully leaves a cool lookin’ scar that will drive the babes wild. 2.) Jindal’s defaulted to the “spout irresponsible gibberish, hope it gets coverage” Palin/Trump ha...
310 in idea barrages
1.) Beat someone to death with the world’s largest gummy worm. Eat the worm. Hope the lack of evidence exonerates you. 2.) Creativity is forcing your mind to make the “incorrect” connections, sif...
where as a child I'd hide in poetry
I’m slightly too old to be of the “here we are now, entertain us” generation. Just barely still the “where do we go where do we go now where do we go” generation. Both as metaphor...
maybe only the crazy can love you in poetry
Everyone says you gotta love yourself but maybe it’s more like an arranged marriage where you just accept this is who you’re permanently stuck with. It’s not...
39 in idea barrages
1.) When you’re awesome but a little bit broken inside and maybe only the crazy can love you, you still need love. You know? 2.) Even weird lookin’ people, sometimes you catch that one angle wher...
38 in idea barrages
1.) PAX East: Come for the waiting in line four hours to play a game demo for five minutes, stay for the institutionalized sexism! 2.) Your internet name is “Browses In Private Window”. 3.) Poor ...
37 in idea barrages
1.) Honestly surprised Thomas’ English Muffins never tried a “Too Many Nooks” thing to be try and be hip. 2.) Two twos, two jokers and a king is the Road House. 3.) I feel like the guy fixing the...
life before wartime in poetry
You have to understand moonshine was the original craft booze. Banjos are everywhere now. The end-game of American hipsterism is the state of being liberal hillbil...
36 in idea barrages
1.) Some day hipsters will come up here to live cheap. I look forward to people in Mumford & Sons shirts riding tractors ironically. 2.) You know how I’d drive the internet crazy? Make Edward...
to the moon, alice in poetry
Astronaut does not kill Astronaut. It is Astronaut Law. Every astronaut gets three attempts at pooping upwards that the other Astronauts have to clean for them. It is Astronaut Law. ...
make it happen in poetry
Can you imagine how great our country would be if we gave teachers the benefit of the doubt the way we do the police? Can you imagine how strange the inverse would be if we kept ...
If you are gluten-intolerant by all means do what you need to be healthy but that doesn’t mean you should convert those who are not to stop eating gluten as well. ...
35 in idea barrages
1.) The end of IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE except instead of money, it’s everyone you ever crushed on telling you they liked you back. 2.) Can you imagine how great our country would be if we gave teac...
34 in idea barrages
1.) I’ve discovered something more annoying than listicles. THINKING you’ve clicked on a listicle & it’s a VIDEO or AUDIO listicle. 2.) The NBA: where players throwing a game is mortal sin bu...
being remembered in poetry
Transcending death as a branded whimsical marketing fiction is our American sainthood. Your meaning dies with your body but a hollowed-out version of your name lives on and on forever. ...
33 in idea barrages
1.) We have the tech to feed the world w/out working hard so we could all be artsy but non-artsy people jealousy ruin it with money outta spite. 2.) He didn’t like saying he had a “salt and peppe...
tune of Ring of Fire in song parodies
teeth are expensive things debt is what a dentist brings my finances dire pulled my teeth with some rusty pliers pulled my teeth with a pair of rusty pliers and I went ble...
32 in idea barrages
1.) What if you could fly but at a rate no faster than a jog? Normies would be impressed but the other heroes would all laugh at you. 2.) When drinking a Shamrock Shake, pretend it is Hulk blood....
open mic haiku in poetry
the room is clearing as you’re rising to the stage can you take the hint? * her strong roman nose I just wanna ski down it into her kisses * no one can be deep with that much hair produc...
31 in idea barrages
1.) A cooking competition show where the secret ingredient is revealed as “deez nuts!” and there, under the lid, are the host’s genitals. (read this in a really snooty British accent for maximum ...
