littlefallsmets ⋅ 46 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,475
Page 189 of 219
528 in idea barrages
1.) If Bobby Flay and Guy Fieri had to fight to the death, no matter who lost, everyone would win. An inverse Alien Vs Predator. 2.) Mohawk Valley Fact: the gun that killed Kurt Cobain was built ...
527 in idea barrages
1.) Or, you know, a Clockwork Orange themed Moot The Hoople parody “All The Young Droogs”. 2.) All we need to do is write a terrible soft rock song about a terrible mixed-drink then sell the nami...
existential pick-up lines in poetry
You’re an accidental node of consciousness traveling around in a bag of pink ape meat for eighty or so years if you’re really lucky? Oh my God, so am I! It’s weird as hell, right...
common knowledge in poetry
It’s common knowledge but If the shoe fits, that doesn’t mean you should wear it. It might be ugly or stank as hell or you know, it might be boot weather. It might be a fly Air Jordan that...
526 in idea barrages
1.) I definitely enjoy pronouncing the word “warthog” as if it were “war thog”. Like a caveman general or something. 2.) A line of ads for Cocoa Puffs starring Sonny Coreleone instead of Sonny th...
flanders fields in poetry
The left sells you war as freeing the oppressed the right sells you war as killing heathens but the outcomes and the profits are always the same. If we weren’t spending trillions on poi...
525 in idea barrages
1.) The Mothman Radio Hour Prophecies would be my favourite show on NPR. 2.) If your sex bakery fetishizes modestly-chested women, call it Cupcakes. If your sex bakery fetishizes muscle men, call...
524 in idea barrages
1.) Being a Mets fan is a great way to train us to weather all kinds of set-backs and humiliations in the rest of our lives. 2.) If I could draw well, I’d certainly be working on a web-comic call...
523 in idea barrages
1.) The coolest opportunity I’ve ever been afforded as a performer is worth five weeks of the goofiest sideburns ever. 2.) Trance Formers: Activate Third Eyes. 3.) The perfect is the enemy of the...
522 in idea barrages
1.) Drinking fountains hate tall people. I almost fall over bending that far. 2.) If the shoe fits, that doesn’t mean you should wear it. It might well be ugly or stank as hell or, you know, it m...
521 in idea barrages
1.) I am a noble yeti/I like to eat spaghetti/my night-times are driven/by dreams of large women/and the poems of Ferlinghetti 2.) Because English is interesting, you can be the most handsome man...
520 in idea barrages
1.) Please stop switching me over to Top Stories, facebook. Please. For God’s sake. You’re making everyone look like stalkers who comment on stuff buried deep in each other’s timelines. Facebook,...
Bob your head and bob your hair while bobbing up and down in cool cool early summer evening skinny dipping water and then Bob’s your uncle. Plunk your bobber down and fish fashio...
hitting the sauce in poetry
there is a hot sauce called “Dave’s Insanity Sauce” it’s a really hot sauce I got some in my contact lens, once and I don’t eat Dave’s Insanity Sauce anymore, either I tend to overcorrect aft...
second window, please pull ahead in poetry
I’m firmly against the death penalty but I must admit if Fast Food Line Indecision were made a capital offense I’d be open to it. It’s a goddamned Burger King. It’s a goddamned Burger K...
facebook's a bastard sometimes. in life stuff and misc.
I don’t like when facebook tells me it’s one ex-girlfriend’s birthday and that an old crush has a new boyfriend at the same time. I have some momentum on some things… maybe, anyway, with my writi...
Galaxies move in space, y’know. A long time ago, our galaxy WAS far far away from where our galaxy is now. You know, from a certain point-of-view. Buster Keaton’s house falling down aro...
519 in idea barrages
1.) If “Dadbod” is an Actual Thing now, I’m declaring myself Hot-Fat. I am Hot-Fat as hell. 2.) It’s a deus ex mackinac. It means “god in northern Michigan”. 3.) Screw quiet desperation. We may s...
film I worked on in a 48 Hour Film Festival in life stuff and misc.
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe> We won honourable mention!
518 in idea barrages
1.) You are made out of almost exactly the same stuff Lou Reed was made out of so you have a chance to be awesome too. 2.) I’ve never seen a porno parody of TERMINATOR 2 but ya know they’d do som...
516 in idea barrages
1.) I am firmly against the death penalty but I must admit that if Fast Food Line Indecision were made a capital offense I’d be more for it. 2.) Convince someone that you think the name of the Be...
514 in idea barrages
1.) Buster Keaton’s house falling down around him, leaving him unscathed, is only funny if you’re a person. Consider a house’s point of view. 2.) “I don’t get the human obsession with authenticit...
the parting of the ways in poetry
No one gets full custody of memories but sometimes you wish they did and you could either hang onto every one or make orphans of them all. Vis-a-vis the “half empty/half full” I’ve decided that ...
this is why we can't have nice things in poetry
what I’ve learned about beer advertisements is that they want us to be stupid they want us to make stupid choices and they want us to be proud to be stupid Coors Beer, we already had a devic...
the handshake deal in poetry
The only way anyone ever uses the Q-Tip is the exact way the box tells you not to, so as to defend a faceless corporation from lawsuits. No one gingerly dabs around the edge of their ear wi...
