littlefallsmets ⋅ 46 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,440
Page 187 of 218
American They in poetry
The cake mix they made has powdered egg in it already. They only have you add an egg to the mix to make you feel like you did something. You didn’t. America. They love pretending there...
69 in idea barrages
1.) “Why are you avoiding me? I just want to criticize you mercilessly for hours on end, why are you hiding from me?!” 2.) Your nerdcore band will be called the Grue Tang Clan. 3.) Goonies gave u...
68 in idea barrages
1.) Treat me like I’m handsome, you have no idea how far that gets with me. I’m weak to that. 2.) When things get too tense, too cold and dense, reality itself wants to climb the walls, almost as...
67 in idea barrages
1.) Every time I hear someone culturally appropriate the phrase “dat ass doe” I think they’re talking about a Bambi porn parody. 2.) God, the end of ANIMAL HOUSE still holds up, doesn’t it? There...
66 in idea barrages
1.) When its onion rings tossed in a fattening sauce, that’s Fieri. When a fried butter bomb makes you just wanna vom, that’s Fieri. When your show needs a guy who could ruin pizza pie, that’s Fi...
65 in idea barrages
1.) “Rocky Top Tennessee” about muffin-tops? 2.) Now that Captain America has been de-powered and aged, he can date Spider-Man’s aunt. A real May-December romance! 3.) An anagram for “American” i...
the christmas that simply was in poetry
I wonder if Santa just pretends that someone’s trying to steal Christmas every year as his people to people who want to be heroic. Is this all Santa’s gentle con? How long has it al...
64 in idea barrages
1.) Some people wanna be put up on a pedestal by their lover, some people wanna be put up on a cross. I just wanna be put up with. 2.) Even my dreams are in summer re-runs. 3.) Using dating sites...
the long con in poetry
They say there’s people who dream of things other than being an artist but I have a hard time believing ‘em. I think they’re just making it up so you know if we don’t get there we...
63 in idea barrages
1.) Shia LaBoeuf looks more like Dustin Diamond with every passing day. 2.) It’s a show about lifeguards who save white hipsters from drowning in culturally appropriated slang. It’s called “Baewa...
five-day barrage in idea barrages
1.) Richard Gere plays a newspaper columnist haunted by a He-Man figure that can predict the future in THE MOSSMAN PROPHECIES. 2.) Make a jam out of bacon and real Kentucky bourbon, call it “KY J...
the miracle in poetry
who could ever want to destroy this town? bomb it with planes? want it to end? this weird terrible wonderful shitty miracle this new york city, my dear old friend. might want ...
katherine's beautiful blues in poetry
despite all their best efforts with the hot steel they can hurl we’ll convince ourselves that there’s a secret savage world for shattered boys for shadow girls where we’ll...
before rome fell in poetry
we’re not gonna burn out we’re not gonna fade away we’re not gonna burn brightly until the end of the night, we aren’t gonna turn to salt or ash at the breaking of the next day we are gonn...
the headswap blues in poetry
even if the transplant worked and the whole thing went through would you be the head or the body which would be you if the genders didn’t match would the doctors even bother if a ma...
528 in idea barrages
1.) If Bobby Flay and Guy Fieri had to fight to the death, no matter who lost, everyone would win. An inverse Alien Vs Predator. 2.) Mohawk Valley Fact: the gun that killed Kurt Cobain was built ...
527 in idea barrages
1.) Or, you know, a Clockwork Orange themed Moot The Hoople parody “All The Young Droogs”. 2.) All we need to do is write a terrible soft rock song about a terrible mixed-drink then sell the nami...
existential pick-up lines in poetry
You’re an accidental node of consciousness traveling around in a bag of pink ape meat for eighty or so years if you’re really lucky? Oh my God, so am I! It’s weird as hell, right...
common knowledge in poetry
It’s common knowledge but If the shoe fits, that doesn’t mean you should wear it. It might be ugly or stank as hell or you know, it might be boot weather. It might be a fly Air Jordan that...
526 in idea barrages
1.) I definitely enjoy pronouncing the word “warthog” as if it were “war thog”. Like a caveman general or something. 2.) A line of ads for Cocoa Puffs starring Sonny Coreleone instead of Sonny th...
flanders fields in poetry
The left sells you war as freeing the oppressed the right sells you war as killing heathens but the outcomes and the profits are always the same. If we weren’t spending trillions on poi...
525 in idea barrages
1.) The Mothman Radio Hour Prophecies would be my favourite show on NPR. 2.) If your sex bakery fetishizes modestly-chested women, call it Cupcakes. If your sex bakery fetishizes muscle men, call...
524 in idea barrages
1.) Being a Mets fan is a great way to train us to weather all kinds of set-backs and humiliations in the rest of our lives. 2.) If I could draw well, I’d certainly be working on a web-comic call...
523 in idea barrages
1.) The coolest opportunity I’ve ever been afforded as a performer is worth five weeks of the goofiest sideburns ever. 2.) Trance Formers: Activate Third Eyes. 3.) The perfect is the enemy of the...
522 in idea barrages
1.) Drinking fountains hate tall people. I almost fall over bending that far. 2.) If the shoe fits, that doesn’t mean you should wear it. It might well be ugly or stank as hell or, you know, it m...
