Entries 5,442

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if only we could let go of this spurious notion that anyone has any idea what the hell they’re doing we could make this life pretty nice together we think if someone has money, they mu...

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hope is a fundamentally liminal endeavor lust and greed and desire are all about wanting stuff that you can see coveting stuff you can touch but not hold grasping for stuff you can tast...

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Sometimes, the ego dissolves and you realize how arbitrary your youness is. How little difference there is between you and anyone else. How your consciousness is a drop in the ocean of mind lik...

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children running in the field like those little toy cars that smash into walls then bounce back in some randomized trajectory children running in the field like late-night moths their guidan...

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1.) Your metal album all about incoherent conspiracy theories will be called “Erich Von Dokken”. 2.) Fan-fiction where the original four-armed evil Grimace takes over and rules McDonaldland with ...

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1.) The dog is burying bones that they may be found by future barkyologists. 2.) If Willy Wonka had owned a soup factory, we could’a called it “Who Wants To Be A Bouillon Heir?” 3.) Oh, so they c...

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1.) Make America Eat Again. 2.) I’VE GOT TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE, PACK YOUR BAGS WITH CHICKEN ICE. 3.) There is a Deep State but it’s not what you think. It is an army of two million Deep Roy clo...

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1.) The brother of the guy who invented Ben-Gay felt like a loser in comparison but worse everyone kept rubbing it in. 2.) Whenever they say “the world is your oyster!” I think “oh great, snot in...

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1.) Overcharging woodworkers is gouge-pricing. 2.) Kenny G isn’t descended from the British Isles so he can’t be an Anglo Saxin’. 3.) She ate all of the s’mores, she was on a grahampage. 4.) The ...

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1.) The app for hobos dating hobos is called Bindlr. 2.) Allegiance to an ism or a movement or a person is missing the point. Whatever does the most good, mitigates the most suffering, is my fait...

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1.) That scene where Frankenstein builds the monster’s neck, it’s just riveting. 2.) (tune of Imagine Dragons RADIOACTIVE) welcome to gnu age/to gnu age/whoa/whoa/the great space coaster/the grea...

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1.) Why would any game call it “Detect Magic” when you could call it “Spell Check”? 2.) Hope is a fundamentally liminal endeavour. Lust, greed, desire are all about wanting stuff you can see. Hop...

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1.) Pumpkin Spice Rice Krispie Treats are a way for the cereal company to say “Maybe this society isn’t worth saving.” 2.) The pianist could only mutter “every good boy deserves fudge” over and o...

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1.) Maybe something wonderful will happen tomorrow and change the whole score. It’s why I wake up the next day, that hope. 2.) “The Year of The Cat” and “You’re So Vain” mash-up perfectly but it’...

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1.) Lot picked up the salty remains of his wife, turned to his friend whose wife had transformed too and yelled “PILLAR FIGHT!” 2.) One of the worst things about humans is that when we’re an expe...

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1.) This nightmare was, honestly, a six hour mix of gag reels and fake trailers inserted into a re-release of Star Wars. What the hell, brain. 2.) Let’s not have another straight white male presi...

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1.) If 311 is still a band and one of them quits, they should have to tour as 310. 2.) In a hundred years they’ll be able to resurrect a simulacra of your consciousness from your Tweet history &a...

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1.) WEIRD FACT: Sting was ultimately the least interesting thing in DUNE. 2.) They knew EXACTLY what they were doing when they called those toys “Monster In My Pocket”. 3.) I’d wear a shirt with ...

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1.) Thick. Broke. Resurgent. 2.) Sometimes the awful of the world overwhelms you and you just have to watch people make candy on youtube for three hours. 3.) Call your video “Tap For Sound” and e...

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1.) If I was going to pretend I invented duct tape, that would be my story and I’d be sticking to it. 2.) Superstitiously, I ask you: are there amends I haven’t made, karma or curse upon me that ...

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1.) The symbol for “hurricane” on a lot of weather reports looks like a fidget spinner and, I dunno, it seemed worth noting. 2.) Psychological self-care is almost impossible when the daily news i...

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1.) If you sell acid on tabs, are you pushing paper? 2.) Sometimes even the best Italian chefs can suffer from Impasta Syndrome. 3.) In dealings with Vikings, don’t take any Wotan nickels. 4.) I’...

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1.) I was hoping there’d be a McDonalds/IT tie-in themed around the phrase “We All Bloat Down Here”. 2.) A stalwart Twitter user, a meme-and-potatoes kinda dude. 3.) Does the winner of the fake b...

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This was the sick reality of Berniedeadenders, edgelording out protest votes for Kremlin asset Jill Stein or whatever: white privilege. Getting so wrapped up in WALL STREET WALL STREET WALL STREE...

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1.) It’ll never come to you all at once, it would overwhelm you even if you got what you wanted. But in little drips, here & there, it’ll come. 2.) We really lost something when we started go...

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