Entries 5,442

Page 108 of 218

you may well be correct in your suspicions that you are a damaged secret genius and if the right person came along to fix your broken pieces, you could be a world-beater and the very best ...

---

I dropped the roll of toilet paper and to retrieve it from my sitting position I had to delicately balance pulling it toward me without making it just unspool further and further and further ...

---

1.) The film bored Dracula and the Wolfman but Frankenstein was just riveted. 2.) The apostle who didn’t show up to defend Jesus because he was too busy watching weird period pieces on PBS was fo...

---

1.) Your ability to stay vividly angry for days straight at a time will be dubbed “temper tantra”. 2.) Tell the stories you needed when you were young or hurt or empty and you needed them but the...

---

1.) Drama Machines have No Soul. 2.) Most of your heroes, accomplished well-to-do successes, spend most of their time deeply unhappy, cursing the world that they’re not a lot more famous, a lot r...

---

an outdoor hot tub in a cheap motel in Sedona once looking up at the Red Rocks with a lover once looking up at desert stars with an ex once I was there once might as well have been an...

---

1.) You take the good, you take the bad, you take ‘em both and then you have… a false dichotomy… a false dichotomy… 2.) If journalists had the guts to risk their access by calling out these basta...

---

1.) Your chaotic-evil halfling bard spreading lies to aid the pretender king will be named Bilbo Reilly. 2.) The Great Space Coaster must do battle with the hot shots of the United States Air For...

---

I went out to L.A. to help or at least that’s what I’d hoped to do. My brother and I lost our father in January, his father-in-law passed in July. I’d house-sat and tended business while Ma was o...

---

1.) Hangin’ around… nothin’ to do but frown… muggles, norms and mundanes always get me down… 2.) Scrollin’ down the feed, seein’ vaguebooks, social med-i-a use… laid back… with the text on the ce...

---

1.) I haven’t seen “Confession: Worth The Price Of Admission!” on a Catholic church sign yet but I guess we’ll get there some day. 2.) Whenever I read the phrase “Strained Yogurt” I imagine all t...

---

1.) Every moment there is joy and horror and beauty and tedium and love and sleep and eating and confusion and want and pain and ecstasy happening, all over the world, in the various nodes of the...

---

1.) Whenever the last Sears closes, I hope someone named Roebuck starts laughing hysterically, not even knowing why. 2.) Your band will be called The Admiral & Commander Tenille. 3.) Your par...

---

1.) His supposed culinary genius was a fraud, basically just smoke and mirepoix. 2.) As long as this fake president occupies the White House, the Secret Service can be better referred to as “The ...

---

1.) Tonight I learned that the host of “Supermarket Sweep” also played the son of the Howells on “The Harlem Globetrotters Visit Gilligan’s Island” and in some small way the world makes a little ...

---

1.) Here they come, here they come, like they’ve always done, stigmatizing the ill instead of blaming the gun. 2.) The best thing about re-run game show channels like Buzzr is seeing the prizes ...

---

1.) Your beat-boxing nom de guerre will be “Box Populi”. 2.) If you’re a long-distance trucker for Cheerios and your CB call-sign isn’t “Haulin’ Oats” you’re doing something wrong. 3.) COLONOSC...

---

1.) Your seafood restaurant that objectifies the male servers will be called CODPIECES. 2.) In all things, I have always valued being interesting over being perfect, in food, in potential lovers,...

---

1.) Your parody of “April Come She Will” will be a saucy interpretation of the Ninja Turtles canon. 2.) Late Capitalism is the Taco Bell Fourth Meal of economics. Or maybe it’s the other way arou...

---

for now we see, as through the glass broken as through a screen of broken bleeding LCDs for now we see, as through the screen dimly or as if through a mirror half-shattered three-point-five ...

---

“If she knows God-honest magic, though, why doesn’t she just make herself television-pretty?” I asked, “If that’s the only thing holding back her dream.” “For her, it’s not that easy,” Frank said...

---

1.) for now we see, as through a glass broken/as through a screen of busted LCDs/for now we see, as if through a screen dimly or mirror half-shattered/through prismatic crazing, a fractal of frac...

---

1.) Puttin’ out to the universe that I’m lookin’ for some concrete direction. I don’t know if there’s anything organized enough beyond the veil to answer back with an arrow but I may as well make...

---

1.) That moment when you realize “Oh, I probably had blinding headaches yesterday because I forgot to take my blood sugar and blood pressure meds”. Getting old beats the alternative but… there ar...

---

1.) I want some, like, really realistic pragmatic love songs on the radio. “Settle for me, it wouldn’t be the worst thing, settle for me, I’m not that bad”. 2.) If your book on the history of the...

---