Entries 5,475

Page 109 of 219

down at the crossroads you’d sell it for song but it’s all in the details and you’ve waited too long your sole salvation’s a total lack of self-control but give yourself a hand you’ve du...

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I spend ten dollars on the lotto each week. Two-dollar Powerball twice-weekly, two-dollar Mega Millions twice-weekly, the one-dollar standard twice-weekly as well. One pick per life-changing long...

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1.) Critiquing someone else’s critique is really just deconstructive criticism. 2.) Watching reruns on the Bzzr channel, I’ve realized “Celebrity Name Game” was actually an experiment to create t...

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1.) ACTUALLY, only the castle was called Wolfenstein. First person shooting games are Wolfenstein’s monster. 2.) Mostly, I’d just wanna write a Green Lantern Corp comic so I could have a minor ch...

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1.) My non-existent comedy rock band will always be called Screaming Viking but my non-existent post-grunge indie rock outfit is definitely now called Brainfog. 2.) My rule is, if you have to ask...

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I feel as though without my father I’ll never know the springtime and I’ll never know the autumn again wherever I happen to be the seasons will forever only hard-flip from freezing to burni...

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every moment there is joy and horror and beauty and tedium and love and sleep and eating and confusion and want and pain and ecstasy happening all over the world in the various nodes of h...

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the sun will shine upon us, brother the sun will shine on us, my friend the sun will shine on us someday again though I won’t lie and say that I know how though I won’t lie and say that I k...

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you may well be correct in your suspicions that you are a damaged secret genius and if the right person came along to fix your broken pieces, you could be a world-beater and the very best ...

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I dropped the roll of toilet paper and to retrieve it from my sitting position I had to delicately balance pulling it toward me without making it just unspool further and further and further ...

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1.) The film bored Dracula and the Wolfman but Frankenstein was just riveted. 2.) The apostle who didn’t show up to defend Jesus because he was too busy watching weird period pieces on PBS was fo...

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1.) Your ability to stay vividly angry for days straight at a time will be dubbed “temper tantra”. 2.) Tell the stories you needed when you were young or hurt or empty and you needed them but the...

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1.) Drama Machines have No Soul. 2.) Most of your heroes, accomplished well-to-do successes, spend most of their time deeply unhappy, cursing the world that they’re not a lot more famous, a lot r...

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an outdoor hot tub in a cheap motel in Sedona once looking up at the Red Rocks with a lover once looking up at desert stars with an ex once I was there once might as well have been an...

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1.) You take the good, you take the bad, you take ‘em both and then you have… a false dichotomy… a false dichotomy… 2.) If journalists had the guts to risk their access by calling out these basta...

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1.) Your chaotic-evil halfling bard spreading lies to aid the pretender king will be named Bilbo Reilly. 2.) The Great Space Coaster must do battle with the hot shots of the United States Air For...

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I went out to L.A. to help or at least that’s what I’d hoped to do. My brother and I lost our father in January, his father-in-law passed in July. I’d house-sat and tended business while Ma was o...

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1.) Hangin’ around… nothin’ to do but frown… muggles, norms and mundanes always get me down… 2.) Scrollin’ down the feed, seein’ vaguebooks, social med-i-a use… laid back… with the text on the ce...

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1.) I haven’t seen “Confession: Worth The Price Of Admission!” on a Catholic church sign yet but I guess we’ll get there some day. 2.) Whenever I read the phrase “Strained Yogurt” I imagine all t...

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1.) Every moment there is joy and horror and beauty and tedium and love and sleep and eating and confusion and want and pain and ecstasy happening, all over the world, in the various nodes of the...

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1.) Whenever the last Sears closes, I hope someone named Roebuck starts laughing hysterically, not even knowing why. 2.) Your band will be called The Admiral & Commander Tenille. 3.) Your par...

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1.) His supposed culinary genius was a fraud, basically just smoke and mirepoix. 2.) As long as this fake president occupies the White House, the Secret Service can be better referred to as “The ...

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1.) Tonight I learned that the host of “Supermarket Sweep” also played the son of the Howells on “The Harlem Globetrotters Visit Gilligan’s Island” and in some small way the world makes a little ...

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1.) Here they come, here they come, like they’ve always done, stigmatizing the ill instead of blaming the gun. 2.) The best thing about re-run game show channels like Buzzr is seeing the prizes ...

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1.) Your beat-boxing nom de guerre will be “Box Populi”. 2.) If you’re a long-distance trucker for Cheerios and your CB call-sign isn’t “Haulin’ Oats” you’re doing something wrong. 3.) COLONOSC...

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