littlefallsmets ⋅ 46 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,410
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f6 in idea barrages
“And this is my AAA card…” the tow truck drive looked at the card “You’re in the… Agnostics Against Abstinence?” “I’m in the AAA, yes.” So if India has Bollywood, is there a bindipendent...
The ships were gone, finally gone, having escaped the surly bonds of Earth’s atmosphere and off toward the one theoretically-livable planet within the Proxima Centauri system. Once their stellar...
f4 in idea barrages
A redneck version of Yakov Smirnov called “Jake Whiskey”, as a first draft of the horror that eventually became “Larry The Cable Guy”. The cool new posters for the Phantom Menace re-rele...
f2 in idea barrages
HP but, like, not Harry Potter. Like, Hewlett Packard And The Over-Priced Inks or whatever. A nature show in a ren faire that calls itself Mutual of Omaha’s Feudal Kingdom. An entire...
j31 in idea barrages
Is there any worse sign for an animated film than an ad where they have side by side footage of the stunt-cast non-voice-actor celebrity recording the lead voice? They’re admitting there’s n...
prompt: human, title: the star in our faults in idea barrages
Learning is the first step and it is a necessary one. You gotta learn how to learn. Learning how to unlearn the greed and cruelty foisted upon you by culture and relearning the love you understo...
j29 in idea barrages
To observe the functions of the CERN accelerator, you need to use a collideoscope. So, every area just gets to call their county fairgrounds swap meet “the world’s largest (something) sa...
j27 in idea barrages
I don’t have a bit or a poem or a story to use the line “the only ethical consumption under capitalism is eating pussy” in yet. YET. Border collies are a real edge case. If they had ...
j25 in idea barrages
A comedy routine about asking someone what their favorite coffee thing is, you say “affogato” and they say “it’s okay, I’ll help you remember”. A Cyprus Hill parody about being obsesse...
j23 in idea barrages
A head canon where the song “Cotton Eyed Joe” is a song about the husband in the song “Jolene”. While Dolly’s singing about Jolene running off with her husband, this poor dude thought HE was...
prompt: review, title: nobler in the mind in misc. flash fiction
All their drug ultimately did was cut people off from experiencing their dreams. Living them out or remembering them. It couldn’t prevent dreams entirely, of course. Dreams are the mind trying t...
j21 in idea barrages
A parody of Brecht’s “Alabama Song” about the old school Thruway stops. “Well, show me the way to the Roy’s Fixins Bar / NO, DON’T ASK WHY / NO, DON’T ASK WHY”. You are to cover all the ...
j19 in idea barrages
Crashing Bedrock’s economy through surreptitious clam farming. An ad for getting rid of ads is the most American thing ever created. MATZO MATZO MAN, I WANT TO BE A MATZO MAN Whe...
j17 in idea barrages
The only correct answer for Tarantino’s final film is “Last Action Hero Remake”. A Ren and Stimpy / My Chemical Romance mash-up called “Welcome to the Yak Parade” ft. Weird Al’s “Weasel ...
prompt: turn, title: life after life in misc. flash fiction
“The problem with getting old,” she told the boy, “is it’s the only way to really know anything.” Which sounds deep and timeless in a cliched fashion, until you have the context that the woman ...
j15 in idea barrages
If you warm up left-over jalapeno poppers the next day, that’s just T.G.I. Saturdays, baby. I like to think that the guy who invented Pizza Hut, Bill Hut, had a sports car he called The ...
j13 in idea barrages
The ability to tell when someone’s into anyone other than you is not the most useful superpower, but it’s a good one for the back of the trading card. “Walkin’ Into Spiderwebs” by Gwen S...
j11 in idea barrages
Why say “laser tattoo removal” when you can say “deconstructive surgery”? A Pennsylvania themed fashion line, just so you can get around to “The Gettysburg, A Dress”. We spend life l...
j9 in idea barrages
Why say “counterfeit” when you can say “funmarked bills”? a robot named Shirley Template why say “anime masturbation injury” when you can say “yaoi owie”? A mathematical tangent ...
prompt: play, title: the plague's the thing in misc. flash fiction
There’ve been thousands of plagues in recorded human history. Tens of thousands we can never know about because there wasn’t writing yet, or their texts couldn’t survive the ravages of ages, or ...
j7 in idea barrages
Replace that angry British chef with Donald Duck, call it THE MALLARD REACTION. Pee Wee Herman and He-Man mashed together into Her-Man. A romantic arc for your Open Hand monk charact...
j5 in idea barrages
A mash-up of The Waterboys “Fisherman’s Blues” and Lord Huron “Mine Forever” could be in the trailer for every indie film until the end of time. A Fiona Apple parody about people going s...
j3 in idea barrages
A ninja flick about a drunken-boxing-style fighter who has switched to hard seltzer for his health called FIST OF THE WHITE CLAW. There’s a way to mash up DUCK TALES and CALL ME AL but I...
j1 in idea barrages
But the best mash-up of all, I realized, would be of Dolly Patron’s “9 to 5” and Moby’s “Run On”. If I ever lose a limb to The Sugar, the stampy-stamp of my wooden peg will be my Carbin’...
dec30 in idea barrages
If you want to get a doctorate in culinary school, you’ll have to defend your dessertation. Post-TARDIS Stress Dalek. It yells “DISSOCIATE! DISSOCIATE!” Is there anything less creati...
