Entries 65

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So things have been going really well with Lou. I am so happy I met him. I am so happy I decided to give him another chance. Now that I have, I can see that he really is true. All the stuff I...

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It's the usual Sunday night. I have every reason to collapse into bed and drift off into a peaceful nights sleep but as usual for every Sunday... I just can't sleep. I think I just have too much...

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Lou. Smiles. Hugs. Caressing. Longing. Touching. Longing. At long last. Two bodies merge into one. Five beautiful months. One beautiful night. He rented a room for us last pm. We went ...

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I would love to write more in depth but it's late and I'm tired. I just wanted to talk a little more about this latest kiss with Lou. It's the strangest thing really. I don't really feel anythin...

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Today was the day. I sent Lou a pic a few days ago of a man and a woman kissing and told him that's what I want. I am not in the practice of announcing that shit. But the tension has been buil...

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What an intense week I have had. Starting on Friday of last week, I was having a panic attack when I took that Chemistry test. It lasted for hours. When I got home, I told him about it and he ...

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I finally did it. After I let George in last weekend, I got into a heated fight with my sister because of it. It was a deal breaker in more ways than I could have imagined. She was on the verg...

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So that tiff I had with my sister yesterday may actually pay off for me. It fueled my fire once again to find a place of my own. I have done this before but I always backed down because I just ...

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I just barely have been able to change my thinking where George is concerned. I have spent a few weeks (maybe even a few months) now being hurt and mad at him for not contacting me anymore. The...

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After the episode with George yesterday am, I was kind of messed up for a little while. That bothers me. But then last pm, I was chatting with Lou online. We were doing the usual music sharing...

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I know that I don't write in here much anymore. I don't really need to write in here. My ocd thoughts of George have diminished so greatly. I still think about him a little bit throughout the ...

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I know how much I struggle in pretty much every class I take. Granted some of the struggle is based solely on the volume of content that I need to keep up with. However when I struggle with the...

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I took my first chemistry test today. I was so excited in anticipation, I could hardly wait to see how I did. I still didn't get the results but I don't think I did too bad. I don't think I di...

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We are having our first exam in chemistry tomorrow. I am nervous as hell. I think I am doing very well in this class but at the same time, I know how very wrong I can be. I think I have everyt...

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In my last entry I said that I decided things just aren't working out with Lou. He has a way of winning me over even after I decide to write him off. I get mad, I decide I'm not going to contac...

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I'm def not obsessing anymore. That is def a very good thing. I used to write (on OD) pretty much every day or every other day for months about him. I know I am over him. I think I am just in ...

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I am pretty frustrated right now in my chemistry class. I believe it's going to be the death of me. I started crying during our second class when the teacher told us that math conversions are t...

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Heidi has been asking me for so long now to go play cards with her at Karen's. I have always wanted to go but something has always come up to prevent me from going. I finally went tonight and I...

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I happened to whine to Lou about how sad I was that OD was shutting down. He was as sweet as he ever is when I told him about that. I also posted about it on FB. There were two people on FB wh...

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It just occurred to me tonight that my past is very similar to a night time sky. The sky is dark... that represents what is in the past. Each star shines bright just like each memory that is at...

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I always seem to start off strong. Whenever I spend any time with George, I always walk away feeling strong about it having no effect on me. That wains so very quickly. I had no intention of c...

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So I had my spell last week I think it was when I really started missing him. It was strange because I hadn't really missed him like that much in quite a while at that point. But I def was miss...

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I have been knocked out all week with this wicked stomach bug. As if feeling nauseous and vomiting for hours isn't enough, to be left in severe pain the following day was enough to push me over ...

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K, so I got teary eyed last pm. K, so I was balling lol. I got lonely and started missing George... a lot. I don't know what it is. I could feel it coming on and I was actually wishing that L...

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I was able to sleep really late today and it felt wonderful. Then I just had a very lazy day, didn't do much of anything until around 4 when I finally decided to brush my teeth and take a shower...

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