So I had my spell last week I think it was when I really started missing him. It was strange because I hadn't really missed him like that much in quite a while at that point. But I def was missing him a lot when I texted him... I was crying for 2 days because of it.
But beyond that, I really just don't think of him much like I used to. That is a very good thing for me. I realize that a good part of the reason why I obsess on him so much doesn't even have anything to do with him so much as it has to do with my OCD issue. I def don't like when I get like that.
So, with that said, he did try calling me on Thursday but I had an incredibly busy day Thursday and I couldn't answer my phone. I tried calling him back like an hour later but he was already back at base and all I could hear was all the background noise and he was literally not talking to me at all. I told he we could just talk later, he said he would call me on his way back on his pm run which, needless to say, he never did. He texted me Friday but it was short lived. I woke up yesterday am with a serious knot in my back so I did text him and asked him for a back rub. He said he def needed one too but he wasn't sure if he could do it last pm or not, but that he would def get back to me at some point this weekend. He texted me last pm after I went to bed, actually, it was almost 1 am telling me that the people he waited around for all day blew him off and then he called me. He told me he should have just come to my place and I told him he sure as hell should have... he was totally thinking I would go over there last pm and pick him up, just like I used to. There is no way I will be doing any of that anymore. It simply isn't good for me to be up all night- it affects everything else in my life. Not to mention that he hasn't really proven worthy of all that. I have been a very good friend to him and he just doesn't really seem to fully appreciate any of it. He says he does, but actions speak louder than words. His actions say "If I get really bored of being bored and nobody else is around, you will do in a pinch".
It wasn't always this way but this is exactly what it has turned into. I know my worth and I know I am worth way more than that. I am not going out of my way for anyone who doesn't appreciate the gem that I am. I don't hate George by any means and he isn't a bad person at all. In fact, truth be told, I worry that if we spend any kind of time together, it will make me vulnerable all over again. I really didn't like the way he was on NYE and my time is better spent alone if that is how he's going to treat me. When we hung up last pm, he told me to call him today to set something up for the back rubs. I haven't called him yet because I'm kind of over it now. I feel like if he really wants to hang out, he can call me. I'm not going to go out too late either because I have plans tomorrow with someone who does appreciate me and I want to be well rested for him. I kind of want to call him right now to catch some sunsets but by the time he gets his act together it will be dark anyways. Oh well.
In short, I'm just glad that the ocd portion of this relationship is finally relenting. Amen!