Entries 20

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reminder to be gentle to myself. allow myself to feel. remember the pain, and give myself permission to heal. acknowledge it and sit with it, but don’t let it consume you. “you are more than memo...

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last night i had TWO dreams of home invasion. it is hard enough to have one but having two entirely separate dreams of the topic was enough to cast an intense feeling of dread over my morning. it...

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i start therapy next week again and it’s a mixture of ‘i can’t wait’ & ‘oh god’. opening up to a stranger about everything fucked up in your head is scary. i also want a place to talk because...

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i do feel, more and more, that i am just biding my time. waiting for … something. not sure what the specifics of the ‘something’. or maybe i am just wasting my time, completely. most days feel th...

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it is almost laughable (for me) how awful 2020 has been. for context, at the end of last year i was really ready to take on a new year. a fresh start. things will be better this time! i vowed to ...

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its gotta get worse before it gets better. maybe it doesnt get better. maybe things change. maybe things are meant to feel different. maybe i am. since PTSD, i kept feeling like i was broken. lik...

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my mantra of last year has definitely applied to my life so far: hard work pays off. it is embarrassing to admit that i have never really put in a lot of hard work in my life. emotionally perhaps...

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god i miss feeling comfortable in my own skin to feel at home under pale folds the bits that hang over your jeans used to tuck away but now, i hold you and i want to love you a body that has been...

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i can’t explain this feeling. it’s a million emotions at once. joy, ecstacy, love. i think it’s love. the lightness in the chest, the lack of air. i can feel the hormones releasing into my bloods...

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I’ve never done this before but I totally missed out on it last month due to life so.. I’m gonna post it here and do it all at once. I’m cheating, whoopsie. 🙃 11/01 - What is your dream vacation?...

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i can’t believe i didn’t give up. this is huge for me. earlier this year i wanted to drop out again. i was so close to failing. and i turned it around. distinctions and high distinctions. it’s li...

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A) What does the last text you sent say? And to whom? “hahaha all good girly!! xx” to a co-worker who asked if I was free this weekend - J and I are going away for our anniversary. No work for me...

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Do you ever feel a gust of wind and close your eyes, and that wave of nostalgia hits you? Like the feeling of a good memory on the tip of your brain but you can’t actually remember what the memor...

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What an awful nightmare I had last night. It’s the first night I hadn’t taken any sleep supplements in over a week because I felt I didn’t need them. Had worked super hard yesterday and was exhau...

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It’s been a while since I’ve written since life took over. Everything has been stressful AF but I’m still alive and managing so I must be doing okay. J and I moved to a new apartment - it’s much...

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I have such an intense problem with jealousy. It started when I was a little girl because mum used to compare me to others a lot. I think she planted insecurity in me because she was insecure her...

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Back in my parent’s old house (been dreaming a lot about that lately). Two friends and boyfriend are over, but we’re younger than we currently are. We’re dressing up in evening gowns are my frien...

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My therapist thinks I might be Bipolar. I’ve been in therapy for years and have seen lots of different therapists but never have I heard “bipolar” before. It’s because I mentioned feeling constan...

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I’ve been looking for a new place to upload a journal for a while now. I used to own an online diary when I was a teenager and for the most part it helped me a lot and made me feel apart of a com...

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