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1.25AM thoughts
reminder to be gentle to myself. allow myself to feel. remember the pain, and give myself permission to heal. acknowledge it and sit with it, but don’t let it consume you. “you are more than memo...
therapy n stuff
i start therapy next week again and it’s a mixture of ‘i can’t wait’ & ‘oh god’. opening up to a stranger about everything fucked up in your head is scary. i also want a place to talk because...
what are you waiting for?
i do feel, more and more, that i am just biding my time. waiting for … something. not sure what the specifics of the ‘something’. or maybe i am just wasting my time, completely. most days feel th...
okay 2020, we get it
it is almost laughable (for me) how awful 2020 has been. for context, at the end of last year i was really ready to take on a new year. a fresh start. things will be better this time! i vowed to ...
Long Time
its gotta get worse before it gets better. maybe it doesnt get better. maybe things change. maybe things are meant to feel different. maybe i am. since PTSD, i kept feeling like i was broken. lik...
falling into place
my mantra of last year has definitely applied to my life so far: hard work pays off. it is embarrassing to admit that i have never really put in a lot of hard work in my life. emotionally perhaps...
home
god i miss feeling comfortable in my own skin to feel at home under pale folds the bits that hang over your jeans used to tuck away but now, i hold you and i want to love you a body that has been...
2018
i can’t explain this feeling. it’s a million emotions at once. joy, ecstacy, love. i think it’s love. the lightness in the chest, the lack of air. i can feel the hormones releasing into my bloods...
im so tired
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don't stop
i can’t believe i didn’t give up. this is huge for me. earlier this year i wanted to drop out again. i was so close to failing. and i turned it around. distinctions and high distinctions. it’s li...
The Future
Do you ever feel a gust of wind and close your eyes, and that wave of nostalgia hits you? Like the feeling of a good memory on the tip of your brain but you can’t actually remember what the memor...
Keep Moving On
It’s been a while since I’ve written since life took over. Everything has been stressful AF but I’m still alive and managing so I must be doing okay. J and I moved to a new apartment - it’s much...
Jealousy Is A Bitch
I have such an intense problem with jealousy. It started when I was a little girl because mum used to compare me to others a lot. I think she planted insecurity in me because she was insecure her...
Ups & Downs
My therapist thinks I might be Bipolar. I’ve been in therapy for years and have seen lots of different therapists but never have I heard “bipolar” before. It’s because I mentioned feeling constan...
Hello!
I’ve been looking for a new place to upload a journal for a while now. I used to own an online diary when I was a teenager and for the most part it helped me a lot and made me feel apart of a com...
Book Description
Collection of thoughts
