Reality sucks in Done drinking.

Just called my birth mother. We talk every once in a while. Usually never at night. She was clearly drunk. Though she could say the same about me. I try so hard to be sober I usually can make it 3 days. I don’t want to deal with my past. Meds and vodka keep me numb.

Listening to her talk slurred speech hits home. Makes me even more depressed that I haven’t kicked this yet. I try. I won’t go to meetings to much anxiety and panic attacks being around people.