Entries 320
Page 7 of 13
Do The Right Thing
I had to escape this week. Karen, my mother’s friend whom I used to live with, invited me to stay at her place for the week since the service arrangements were going to absolutely overwhelm every...
No How
She said, “We don’t know now but it won’t hurt this bad forever.” I replied coldly, “Yes, it will.” “I know it feels like that now,” she answered,” but someday it will feel like less of a weight....
Quantum Of Solace
My mother is diving deep into planning my grandmother’s service. She’s been dead for months but the service isn’t until July 1st. She’s put every ounce of grief into making this as bombastic as p...
A Current Affair
I’m currently in the middle of yet another massive “self-help” entry that will take me weeks to complete, so I thought I’d fill this out. Current book: Last night, I just finished re-reading Some...
No Good About Good-bye
I know that that last entry was a rambling mess, but that’s because I wrote it over a period of about two weeks and kept losing my train of thought and coming back to it. To boil it down to somet...
Another Way To Die
So there I was at at Sarah’s mother’s with all of these adults that have known me since I was 4. Once I knocked over Sarah’s 1-year-old nephew, I stayed in the corner pretty much by myself. I did...
Desperate Alliances
My little brothers think I’m being overdramatic because I’ve said that I won’t be going to my grandmother’s memorial service. Ironically, my mother completely supports my decision. I think it’s t...
Unhidden
The repetition of my life is a little bit more frayed at the edges than was visible prior to my grandmother’s death. And yes, I say death. My mother is saying all kinds of softer words, and I kno...
The survey that asked too many questions about trauma...
Since these days I’m always looking for a good distraction, here’s a really intrusice survey. Sexual Orientation? I don’t know that I have a simple answer for this any longer. It’s definitely n...
Camouflage
I lit the scented candle on my desk. Pipe tobacco and patchouli. The only scented candles I owned smelled like different men that I’ve loved in my life. I took a look around and observed how litt...
Cucumber
It was over a year ago. I was auditioning for a play, mostly because the director of the play was a former professor (whom I hated) and asked me to audition specifically for the show. I didn’t ge...
All Gone
She passed away at 4:16 yesterday. I’m very irritated by a great many things, but mostly because I don’t know what I’m feeling. The funny thing is, after I announced it on Facebook with the inten...
Away Message
I’m sorry I haven’t been writing, but my grandmother has worsened and we’ve ceased treatment having moved on to pain management. It’s only a matter of days until she passes. Furthermore, I had to...
The Week of Intensity
So much has happened this past week, it makes me dizzy to think about. So I’m going to summarize it quickly: I hung out with Eric and planned our trip to San Francisco, stopped a rape from happen...
Like the Dead
Oh God, ever since that last entry, things shifted quickly. I started hitting the dating scene really hard, and it hasn’t always been a good thing. Like at all. In fact, it’s been pretty stupid. ...
This weekend was predictably sedate. It was a nice change of pace compared to the orgy from a week ago… Ugh, was that a mess. So now here I am sitting at home on Oscar night watching Murder, She ...
Tabula Rasa
I haven’t really spoken to Charlie since October. I never wrote about what happened because it was really upsetting. If you’re lost about who I’m talking about, take a quick peek at 3. Fable (The...
*hums Sesame Street theme song while clenching fist*
Everything happening in the US is just so dispiriting that I don’t really want to write because then I’ll have to think… and I’d like not to think for a little while… but that won’t happen. At le...
Girls Just Wanna Have... Drama
I believe there is a curse on anyone who tries to set-up their friends. I used to hang out with a girl named Crystal, I’m sure I wrote about the last time we hung out, I just can’t seem to find t...
Blood of the Unicorn
So this whole having friends and hanging out with people thing is really odd. Like, we’ve hung out the past two nights, we grabbed breakfast this morning and he like hugs me good-bye and is genui...
Saturno Contro
One of the pitfalls of saying everything is sunshine and lollipops, or just admitting to have a positive attitude, is that you leave the door open for something REALLY bad to happen. That’s usual...
The Unwilling
Shorty before Christmas, I called Edgar. I had seen him around town and he looked healthy, doing his steps for AA, so I wanted to reach out and see how he was doing. The conversation was fairly p...
The Eyes of Medusa
Richard went home early that morning and I drove him to his father’s house. They all remembered me and forced me to eat another breakfast even though I’d eaten one at my mother’s just minutes ear...
Twenty-Two Less Lights
You know, I’ve started around a dozen entries since the last one I wrote, and then some bombshell gets dropped on me while I’m writing, I stop and then I feel like I have to start all over again....
A Friendship in Three Variations
Sunday night, my friend Kat and I went out. She just moved to the Sacramento area from San Jose about a month ago but hasn’t been out at all because she is new to the area. I had a lot of anxiety...
Book Description
Daily life is where the details are located.
