The Stuff That's Not Interesting But Is The Most Interesting Stuff I'll Write
by ~Octopussy~
Entries 301
Page 5 of 13
Smarten Me Up
Last weekend, my step-father cornered me and I got stuck in this incredibly long speech. Essentially, he called me a 40-year-old single loser. First of all, I was livid. I’m finally getting on tr...
Nothing Where Something Used To Be
I’m sitting in one of five Starbucks I passed in my terminal alone in the Seattle-Tacoma airport. I’m heading back to Sacramento after having a week here to clear my head and figure things out. M...
Death Becomes Her
Last night was such a disaster, I’m so angry and so done with so many things. Honestly, it was so bad that had it been a year ago, I would have killed myself. There would have been no attempt, I ...
Blood On the Surface
The air quality in my nook of California has been so bad that I haven’t actually left my house in three days. I’m okay with that, I caught up on some reading and enjoyed the solitude. Not having ...
The Approaching Horizon
I remember writing the last entry thinking that I had so much to write about, but really, none of it matters. And that’s the problem. I miss when I felt like my life mattered. I wish everything d...
Farewell, Nausicaa (The One Man Show Mix)
I should know better than to name my trips something as singular as “One Man Show” because in essence, that’s what it became. A series of misfires in which I found myself at the mercy of my own p...
One Man Show
So I am writing this on my phone, which I hate doing but I’ve just decided all of this in the last 24 hours, so I’m writing now. I have much more to write about, but I haven’t had the time. My j...
A-B-Çurvey
A - Age: 34 (but only for a few more weeks) B- Biggest Fear: I just went over this in the last entry.... being abandoned. C- Current Time: 15h55 on a Monday. D- Drink you last had: Earl Grey with...
Battle of the Dragon (Rhinoceros Mix)
Yesterday an incident happened which caused a sharp crack in my somewhat fragile mental health recovery. I mean, I didn’t sleep all night because I was crying in terror, afraid to fall asleep. It...
4. Intentions
So I decided to go to my family’s church yesterday. I wanted to see if this was the source of the political hatred that has suddenly washed over my family. Let me tell you, I haven’t been to chur...
3. Further Away
So there have been two other wrenches thrown into my plan to head back to LA in the timely manner in which I had first charted out. The first of which is my former employer, whom I shall be seein...
2. Little Tyrants
Chuckie is continuing to slide into territories I find truly frightening. Are there Mexican Neo-Nazis? The other day he was wearing a red shirt emblazoned with that famous photo of Ché Guevara wi...
1. Doomsday Clock
I knew that making an announcement about my intentions to leave LA was a very bad idea because my mother has done absolutely everything in her power to wind down the clock. Now, I’m not really bl...
It's Not That Funny, Is It?
Last week was such a crazy, whirlwind of a week that I don’t even want to talk about it. It was filled with a lot of interesting things, and I spent nearly four days straight with Richard. It was...
Field of Blood
I came home from work the other night and my parking spot as well as all the guest parking spots were taken up by my little brother’s friends. Honestly, I didn’t even get mad. In the past, every ...
San Francisco Convert
Richard has been making frequent trips to visit now that he’s out of school and only has to work weekends at the bar in San Francisco. This means that he’s not just seeing me, he’s also seeing hi...
Know Your Worth
I know it’s been a while, but it’s been gradually increasing in intensity as time has gone on. The drag show was fine. It was a bit of a mess simply because my friend that was supposed to help m...
War On All Fronts
I hate that everything is so difficult right now. I have to fight for every damn thing. I have to struggle to feel fine, feel normal, feel even just a minute amount of self-love and each step of ...
Fuck April 15th
April 15 is the one year anniversary of the death of my grandmother. We all know how well that turned out for me, I’m still trying to deal with the consequences of that whole situation. I still h...
The Unseen
I’m sorry I’ve been MIA recently, I’ve been battling to get my health under control, which has been more of a struggle than I’m really used to. Apparently while I was absent, Prosebox was ending…...
Thank You For Being A Friend
I know it’s been so many months since I’ve written anything significant, but after my suicide attempt in September, I had to change everything about my life. I cut everyone off, quit my job, and ...
A Novel Connection
I’m I haven’t written in ages, but I’ve been focusing so much on my novel that it has completely sapped by desire to write elsewhere. A strange thing happened to me recently, I was finally at the...
Buying Stamps
I know it has been a horribly long time since I’ve written and there’s no excuse other than I haven’t felt like it. Not even when my birthday rolled around. I’ve spent the last month trying, rath...
We Can
Well, it’s been a pretty crazy couple of weeks. Crazy because I’m doing everything possible to keep myself from going crazy. Since I cut off all contact with Richard, I’ve quit my job and gotten...
No Smile For William
I’ve spent the last week grappling with everything that happened. I felt like I stabbed myself in the chest for nearly 4 days. It was like a had a constant, heavy pain pressing on my body. After ...
Book Description
Daily life is where the details are located.