~Octopussy~ ⋅
I'm not really sure what to write about myself. I'm just moving forward because that's all I can do... except when I'm here, usually that means I'm obsessing about the past.
Power is being told you are not loved and not being destroyed by it.
Entries 318
Page 1 of 13
I know it’s been a while, and I’m sorry for not writing, but I’m finally here in Thailand for the long-haul. I know, nearly 5 months after I arrived and I’m finally assured that I won’t be sponta...
The Molly Ringwald Moment in The Song Remembers When
In August I wrote about songs that connected me to my emotions, but there’s an even deeper level than that. It’s the level that makes you dance. I’m very self-conscious about my body and I rarely...
I know it’s been quite a while, and the truth is I have about 14 incomplete entries saved in my drafts folder that I’m going to be finishing up… and they belong to almost every book. So you’ll ge...
Onslaught in The Stuff That's Not Interesting But Is The Most Interesting Stuff I'll Write
You know, things are good here. I like my job, I’m pretty happy with everything. Even though it’s a bit stressful, the amount of stress I’m dealing with now is nowhere near what I dealt with in C...
I left quarantine on a Thursday, the next Monday morning I started training at my new job. That whole process was mind-blowing to me. I had my choice of five different positions. The one I wanted...
Emotions in The Song Remembers When
Earlier this year I heard a song that kind of snapped something in me. And it was weird because I didn’t actually understand the lyrics because it was in Mandarin, and I don’t speak Mandarin. But...
I am just finishing day 11 of my quarantine. I have had three interviews, one of those being a second interview, so I’m hopeful that I will already have a job by the time I leave this little qua...
Well, I made it. I’m writing this from my Quarantine Hotel just outside of Bangkok. While it was quite long and arduous, it was actually one of the easiest travel experiences I’ve ever had. Part ...
I am not very good at healthy coping skills. I deal with things the way I deal with them and then completely explode in anger whenever someone questions my techniques. I’m not very good at taking...
The Undiscovered Country in Things That I'm Grateful For
To say that I’m still shaken by the events that unfolded in the last entry would be accurate. I’m very sensitive to death, especially random death. The full story about those young men emerged fu...
As I finished watching a series that I ended up loving (despite everyone hating it) called HIStory4: Close To You, there was a character that popped up that I hadn’t even remembered existed until...
One Way Ticket in The Song Remembers When
Part of leaving means that I’m having to clean up and sort all of my stuff, I found a box of photographs in my things. I’m not a very sentimental person, probably because of how emotional I am, a...
There was one question that hung in my head in the middle of the night: Why am I doing this? My initial reason for going to Thailand doesn’t exist anymore yet here I am still chugging ahead. Why?...
The trip with my mother was exactly what I expected it to be. Which was fine. She’s bigoted and racist and extremely transphobic, but she doesn’t think she is because she’s a good Christian woman...
This whole situation is super stressful, and I have to do it all myself. I don’t have to do it all myself, but the truth is, there’s no one else I trust to really help me with it. We finally reac...
Details in Things That I'm Grateful For
I feel like doing one of these because it’s been a while and I like the randomness of this one. Is there a rail line near your house? If so, is it noisy and bothersome? I live directly across the...
So this is basically an update on what happened in my entries from last year called “Spinning” and “Falling Off That High Horse”.... which means I finally got to see Richard. It was his graduatio...
With the clock ticking, I realized after a recent night out that I’m somewhat out of step with city life, having been locked into this dreary suburb for the last five years. It’s not that I don’t...
I’ve been around long enough now to know that when something really really great happens, something supremely shitty is just around the corner. The universe just has to balance the fucking scales...
Future Pain in Things That I'm Grateful For
Things have been happening so rapidly that I really can’t keep up. Although, now that my brain is functioning normally, I’m able to organize and get things set in motion easier. I’ve officially p...
I know it’s been a while but that’s mainly because I’ve spent the last month going through the trial period for the medication meant to treat my disorder. Let me tell you how different I feel. It...
4am And Nothing To Do but Answer Questions in Things That I'm Grateful For
Anthjo posted this survey and it wasn’t annoying, so I figure what the hell! Have you ever used a dating site/app? I try it for about a week and then I get rid of it. Look, I am terrible at writt...
Not Yet in The Stuff That's Not Interesting But Is The Most Interesting Stuff I'll Write
This past week I’ve been home sick and it was not good. But an amazing thing happened… at least, I think it’s amazing, too many people seem to think it’s rather morbid, but whatever, Halloween ba...
I know I say this every year but I just need to reiterate how much I fucking hate Christmas. It’s like a poison. One of my life goals is to move to a part of the world that doesn’t celebrate Chri...
Rosebud in The Stuff That's Not Interesting But Is The Most Interesting Stuff I'll Write
So I decided I’d follow Matt’s lead and do another video… but I had a lot to cover so this is a long one and I apologize. But I got sidetracked and didn’t have time to edit it down or record mult...
