~Octopussy~

I'm not really sure what to write about myself. I'm just moving forward because that's all I can do... except when I'm here, usually that means I'm obsessing about the past.

Power is being told you are not loved and not being destroyed by it.

Madonna

Entries 190

Page 1 of 8

So this whole having friends and hanging out with people thing is really odd. Like, we’ve hung out the past two nights, we grabbed breakfast this morning and he like hugs me good-bye and is genui...


One of the pitfalls of saying everything is sunshine and lollipops, or just admitting to have a positive attitude, is that you leave the door open for something REALLY bad to happen. That’s usual...


I decided that I would not go to Maddie’s funeral, and I did it explicitly for selfish reasons. Out of the twenty-two deaths in 2016, I went to 17 funerals. Frankly, that’s too much grief and ref...


Shorty before Christmas, I called Edgar. I had seen him around town and he looked healthy, doing his steps for AA, so I wanted to reach out and see how he was doing. The conversation was fairly p...


January 10, 2017

No Plan in The Song Remembers When

I know I know, another ridiculous story about David Bowie. The truth is, I feel like his death was such a watershed moment in 2016. It was like some kind of portent about the way things would go....


Richard went home early that morning and I drove him to his father’s house. They all remembered me and forced me to eat another breakfast even though I’d eaten one at my mother’s just minutes ear...


You know, I’ve started around a dozen entries since the last one I wrote, and then some bombshell gets dropped on me while I’m writing, I stop and then I feel like I have to start all over again....


Sunday night, my friend Kat and I went out. She just moved to the Sacramento area from San Jose about a month ago but hasn’t been out at all because she is new to the area. I had a lot of anxiety...


I’m at work typing this because there’s nothing better to do. I just got a prank call from some kid claiming to be asking questions about PS4 vs X Box One, but I realized it was a prank call when...


My grandmother’s in the ER so I need to distract myself. 1.ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? I have a scar on each of my palms from getting a nail punched through both of them simultaneously...


I’m supposed to be meeting Kendra for coffee in less than an hour but I can’t seem to get myself motivated to get out the door. Kendra used to be one of my very best friends and we did everything...


Ever since they changed the settings on this thing, I haven’t been able to look at it. I finally figured out how to turn off all of that obnoxious WHITE glaring at me all the time. Ugh, not happy...


I’ve been meaning to write, but the holidays mean that I have much less time and even less inclination. Things were kind of crawling along like they have for much of this past year. The differenc...


My absence over the last several weeks was because I needed to get my head screwed on straight, and I wasn’t quite sure I could survive waxing on about the stress of my birthday. The truth is, my...


I seem to have found myself in some alternate reality. If you had told me two years ago that this is where my life would be at this point in my life, I would have laughed in your face and told yo...


Sarah’s wedding was this past weekend and as nice as it was, I’m so glad it’s over. The only reason being, weddings are fucking stressful. It was incredibly unnerving having to see people from th...


October 05, 2016

Justice in The Song Remembers When

About 10 years ago, I had a huge crush on this guy and he was obsessed with this band called Justice, which most people think are a Daft Punk rip-off, but I remember them as having some of the be...


What is there to write about? Another straight guy throwing himself at me, another lost career opportunity, more anchors holding me down. There’s a lot of monotony in my life right now. The other...


September 27, 2016

Miles Away in The Song Remembers When

I have to be honest, when it comes to Madonna albums, I think Hard Candy might be my least favorite. The songs don’t hang together as a whole, but they are good songs. But no Madonna song have I ...


The other day, Sarah asked me to be in the wedding. I couldn’t think of a polite way to decline, besides which I figure how many weddings am I really going to get to be apart of. Maybe I’ll get t...


Song that always makes you sad? Something About Us - Daft Punk Last thing you bought? Probably vodka. Last person you argued with? I’ll just put my mother because I don’t think it will have been ...


I was going to add this to the previous entry, but it didn’t seem to fit with the whole theme… Or maybe it did fit and I was just too hellbent on making things seem a little sunnier than they usu...


This weekend ended up being a huge confluence of too many events, both past and future. If you are someone who is not familiar with that irritating bit in parentheses, you have not figured out th...


I keep to a pretty normal routine and it takes a lot to disrupt what I do on a weekly basis. It’s comforting because I tend to see the same people over and over again and then that’s how I make f...


Each time I think I’ve made up my mind on where I’m going between the two choices I’ve given myself, life throws me another curveball and tips the scale toward the other. It’s almost borderline p...


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