~Octopussy~ ⋅

I'm not really sure what to write about myself. I'm just moving forward because that's all I can do... except when I'm here, usually that means I'm obsessing about the past.

Power is being told you are not loved and not being destroyed by it.

Madonna

Entries 311

Page 1 of 13

Well, I made it. I’m writing this from my Quarantine Hotel just outside of Bangkok. While it was quite long and arduous, it was actually one of the easiest travel experiences I’ve ever had. Part ...


I am not very good at healthy coping skills. I deal with things the way I deal with them and then completely explode in anger whenever someone questions my techniques. I’m not very good at taking...


To say that I’m still shaken by the events that unfolded in the last entry would be accurate. I’m very sensitive to death, especially random death. The full story about those young men emerged fu...


As I finished watching a series that I ended up loving (despite everyone hating it) called HIStory4: Close To You, there was a character that popped up that I hadn’t even remembered existed until...


Part of leaving means that I’m having to clean up and sort all of my stuff, I found a box of photographs in my things. I’m not a very sentimental person, probably because of how emotional I am, a...


There was one question that hung in my head in the middle of the night: Why am I doing this? My initial reason for going to Thailand doesn’t exist anymore yet here I am still chugging ahead. Why?...


The trip with my mother was exactly what I expected it to be. Which was fine. She’s bigoted and racist and extremely transphobic, but she doesn’t think she is because she’s a good Christian woman...


This whole situation is super stressful, and I have to do it all myself. I don’t have to do it all myself, but the truth is, there’s no one else I trust to really help me with it. We finally reac...


I feel like doing one of these because it’s been a while and I like the randomness of this one. Is there a rail line near your house? If so, is it noisy and bothersome? I live directly across the...


So this is basically an update on what happened in my entries from last year called “Spinning” and “Falling Off That High Horse”.... which means I finally got to see Richard. It was his graduatio...


With the clock ticking, I realized after a recent night out that I’m somewhat out of step with city life, having been locked into this dreary suburb for the last five years. It’s not that I don’t...


I’ve been around long enough now to know that when something really really great happens, something supremely shitty is just around the corner. The universe just has to balance the fucking scales...


Things have been happening so rapidly that I really can’t keep up. Although, now that my brain is functioning normally, I’m able to organize and get things set in motion easier. I’ve officially p...


I know it’s been a while but that’s mainly because I’ve spent the last month going through the trial period for the medication meant to treat my disorder. Let me tell you how different I feel. It...


Anthjo posted this survey and it wasn’t annoying, so I figure what the hell! Have you ever used a dating site/app? I try it for about a week and then I get rid of it. Look, I am terrible at writt...


This past week I’ve been home sick and it was not good. But an amazing thing happened… at least, I think it’s amazing, too many people seem to think it’s rather morbid, but whatever, Halloween ba...


I know I say this every year but I just need to reiterate how much I fucking hate Christmas. It’s like a poison. One of my life goals is to move to a part of the world that doesn’t celebrate Chri...


So I decided I’d follow Matt’s lead and do another video… but I had a lot to cover so this is a long one and I apologize. But I got sidetracked and didn’t have time to edit it down or record mult...


Weird Thanksgiving, quite messy, but lots of fun. It was difficult being around so many people, and while I did have the usual wishing I was more social, I finally found myself just accepting it ...


I know it’s been a while, but in my defense, I was working three jobs during October and then spent the first half of November trying to fix my fucked up sleep schedule. Also trying to avoid dram...


For some reason, I’m still a big believer in fate and that the right people and things will come to me… but not just come to me, but return to me. The trip to San Diego was a product of that arch...


A unique opportunity came up on Sunday evening, as I reeled from the fact that a fire hydrant exploded in front of my place and threatened me with flood (I did say I wanted to get rid of most of ...


The situation with my father has gotten rather dire. He spent 7 months of the year in a rehabilitation center, however, he left before he completed the program due to it being shut down by COVID....


I know I’ve written about this before… well, I don’t know, it just feels like something I’ve bitched about before, but I just cannot believe it. I find it absolutely astonishing because I’d never...


I hadn’t seen Richard since February. We talk at least three times a week, I even got him hooked on a few Thai dramas that I’d been watching, and he’s laughably been trying to keep up with all of...