~Octopussy~

I'm not really sure what to write about myself. I'm just moving forward because that's all I can do... except when I'm here, usually that means I'm obsessing about the past.

Power is being told you are not loved and not being destroyed by it.

Madonna

Entries 208

Page 1 of 9

The repetition of my life is a little bit more frayed at the edges than was visible prior to my grandmother’s death. And yes, I say death. My mother is saying all kinds of softer words, and I kno...


I kind of touched on something in the survey I posted that I wanted to expand on… I can’t listen to most music anymore. If we’re friends on Facebook, you’ll notice I’ve posted a lot of music but ...


Since these days I’m always looking for a good distraction, here’s a really intrusice survey. Sexual Orientation? I don’t know that I have a simple answer for this any longer. It’s definitely n...


I lit the scented candle on my desk. Pipe tobacco and patchouli. The only scented candles I owned smelled like different men that I’ve loved in my life. I took a look around and observed how litt...


It was over a year ago. I was auditioning for a play, mostly because the director of the play was a former professor (whom I hated) and asked me to audition specifically for the show. I didn’t ge...


She passed away at 4:16 yesterday. I’m very irritated by a great many things, but mostly because I don’t know what I’m feeling. The funny thing is, after I announced it on Facebook with the inten...


I’m sorry I haven’t been writing, but my grandmother has worsened and we’ve ceased treatment having moved on to pain management. It’s only a matter of days until she passes. Furthermore, I had to...


So much has happened this past week, it makes me dizzy to think about. So I’m going to summarize it quickly: I hung out with Eric and planned our trip to San Francisco, stopped a rape from happen...


I was reading Kiss Of Life’s entry and it reminded me of this song. I love this song and think it’s got a great message. George really was a master. It’s really difficult to hear in hindsight. L...


Amongst the idiotic romantic entanglements into which I’ve been getting myself, there has also been the situation of my grandmother’s deteriorating health. The main problem I’m having with the wh...


Oh God, ever since that last entry, things shifted quickly. I started hitting the dating scene really hard, and it hasn’t always been a good thing. Like at all. In fact, it’s been pretty stupid. ...


This weekend was predictably sedate. It was a nice change of pace compared to the orgy from a week ago… Ugh, was that a mess. So now here I am sitting at home on Oscar night watching Murder, She ...


I feel like doing one of these will either clear my sinuses or my head… either way I’ll get to empty out a bunch of nonsense that’s just clutter. Be honest; name of the last person to text you? I...


Does anybody remember an entry called The Vase Is the Most Important part of This Story? Well, the guy I cuddled with the whole night has been put in a Buzzfeed list. Does anyone wanna hazard a g...


I haven’t really spoken to Charlie since October. I never wrote about what happened because it was really upsetting. If you’re lost about who I’m talking about, take a quick peek at 3. Fable (The...


Everything happening in the US is just so dispiriting that I don’t really want to write because then I’ll have to think… and I’d like not to think for a little while… but that won’t happen. At le...


February 04, 2017

Remnants in The Song Remembers When

You know, I think that the first artist whose music you consciously purchased (as opposed to being a hand-me-down by a sibling or parent) is a lot like falling in love for the first time. That pe...


I believe there is a curse on anyone who tries to set-up their friends. I used to hang out with a girl named Crystal, I’m sure I wrote about the last time we hung out, I just can’t seem to find t...


So this whole having friends and hanging out with people thing is really odd. Like, we’ve hung out the past two nights, we grabbed breakfast this morning and he like hugs me good-bye and is genui...


One of the pitfalls of saying everything is sunshine and lollipops, or just admitting to have a positive attitude, is that you leave the door open for something REALLY bad to happen. That’s usual...


I decided that I would not go to Maddie’s funeral, and I did it explicitly for selfish reasons. Out of the twenty-two deaths in 2016, I went to 17 funerals. Frankly, that’s too much grief and ref...


Shorty before Christmas, I called Edgar. I had seen him around town and he looked healthy, doing his steps for AA, so I wanted to reach out and see how he was doing. The conversation was fairly p...


January 10, 2017

No Plan in The Song Remembers When

I know I know, another ridiculous story about David Bowie. The truth is, I feel like his death was such a watershed moment in 2016. It was like some kind of portent about the way things would go....


Richard went home early that morning and I drove him to his father’s house. They all remembered me and forced me to eat another breakfast even though I’d eaten one at my mother’s just minutes ear...


You know, I’ve started around a dozen entries since the last one I wrote, and then some bombshell gets dropped on me while I’m writing, I stop and then I feel like I have to start all over again....


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