Blood of the Unicorn in The Stuff That's Not Interesting But Is The Most Interesting Stuff I'll Write

So this whole having friends and hanging out with people thing is really odd. Like, we’ve hung out the past two nights, we grabbed breakfast this morning and he like hugs me good-bye and is genuinely excited to see me. I have to be honest, it kind of makes me uncomfortable. I know, I know… I’ve been bitching about being alone and isolated for the last year, and now I have a friend and it’s kind of freaking me out.

I’m not used to being around someone with similar interests. It’s very unnerving. We like the same kind of music, we both like the same movies, we both have traveled extensively (he’s going to Cambodia for three weeks at the beginning of February), and the list goes on. He’s a good listener, is genuinely interested in my well-being, and seems to think very precisely about what to say.

I know this sounds very confusing but it’s very odd to be friends with someone who’s actually an adult. It makes me feel deficient in so many aspects of my life. It’s very disorienting. I’ll figure it out, but it’s just… yeah.

I’m applying for an internship with the European Union. I doubt I’ll get it but I need to keep expanding my international portfolio and show that I am making sincere attempts, even while stranded in Hell, to get back to Europe. The application process is really protracted and it reminds me of the same situation I was in a year ago applying for the job in France. I’m hoping that this time I remain a little more detached and cautiously optimistic as opposed to letting something fuel all my hopes for the next year.

Focusing on keeping positive is incredibly difficult. People always tell me how I need to keep focused and keep positive, but the truth is, my natural reaction is to suspect sabotage or see conspiracies wherever I look. I suppose that’s why I’m having such a hard time with Eric (the guy from the beginning of this entry). I see no subterfuge or deception. There are no shadows that hide anything… at least none that I can see, and I’m usually pretty good at detecting these things. Someone who’s actually open and a good friend seems a little bit like suddenly finding a unicorn.

I just hope I’m not like Voldemort and found drinking the blood of my unicorn.