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Page 6 of 13

I called Richard, and through gasps and tears, I told him it would be best if we didn’t see each other for a while. He only replied, “I don’t know what to say.” There’s nothing to say. I love him...

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I went to San Francisco this week. It was disastrous mainly because it illustrated how I can’t seem to keep my emotions in check. We were out having a good time, and then out of nowhere, Richard ...

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So in the past couple of months I’ve tried to tame myself. I’m only going after men that are actually my type. I’ve spent too much time chasing guys that I believe are hot only because people tel...

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I know I haven’t written but in truth, not much has happened. How often can I write about a cycle that repeats itself? How many times can I say “this is bad” without anything really changing? Wh...

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I spent the entire rest of the week trying to deconstruct what happened with Richard. Or stop myself from deconstructing. I didn’t drink or smoke. I went to bed at 9:30 every night. Until Saturda...

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The weekend was exactly what I needed. It had so many shades to it and it was amazingly complex, although sickeningly simple at the same time. I wondered how it was going to go especially since R...

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I had to escape this week. Karen, my mother’s friend whom I used to live with, invited me to stay at her place for the week since the service arrangements were going to absolutely overwhelm every...

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She said, “We don’t know now but it won’t hurt this bad forever.” I replied coldly, “Yes, it will.” “I know it feels like that now,” she answered,” but someday it will feel like less of a weight....

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My mother is diving deep into planning my grandmother’s service. She’s been dead for months but the service isn’t until July 1st. She’s put every ounce of grief into making this as bombastic as p...

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I’m currently in the middle of yet another massive “self-help” entry that will take me weeks to complete, so I thought I’d fill this out. Current book: Last night, I just finished re-reading Some...

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I know that that last entry was a rambling mess, but that’s because I wrote it over a period of about two weeks and kept losing my train of thought and coming back to it. To boil it down to somet...

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So there I was at at Sarah’s mother’s with all of these adults that have known me since I was 4. Once I knocked over Sarah’s 1-year-old nephew, I stayed in the corner pretty much by myself. I did...

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My little brothers think I’m being overdramatic because I’ve said that I won’t be going to my grandmother’s memorial service. Ironically, my mother completely supports my decision. I think it’s t...

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The repetition of my life is a little bit more frayed at the edges than was visible prior to my grandmother’s death. And yes, I say death. My mother is saying all kinds of softer words, and I kno...

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Since these days I’m always looking for a good distraction, here’s a really intrusice survey. Sexual Orientation? I don’t know that I have a simple answer for this any longer. It’s definitely n...

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I lit the scented candle on my desk. Pipe tobacco and patchouli. The only scented candles I owned smelled like different men that I’ve loved in my life. I took a look around and observed how litt...

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It was over a year ago. I was auditioning for a play, mostly because the director of the play was a former professor (whom I hated) and asked me to audition specifically for the show. I didn’t ge...

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She passed away at 4:16 yesterday. I’m very irritated by a great many things, but mostly because I don’t know what I’m feeling. The funny thing is, after I announced it on Facebook with the inten...

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I’m sorry I haven’t been writing, but my grandmother has worsened and we’ve ceased treatment having moved on to pain management. It’s only a matter of days until she passes. Furthermore, I had to...

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So much has happened this past week, it makes me dizzy to think about. So I’m going to summarize it quickly: I hung out with Eric and planned our trip to San Francisco, stopped a rape from happen...

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Oh God, ever since that last entry, things shifted quickly. I started hitting the dating scene really hard, and it hasn’t always been a good thing. Like at all. In fact, it’s been pretty stupid. ...

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This weekend was predictably sedate. It was a nice change of pace compared to the orgy from a week ago… Ugh, was that a mess. So now here I am sitting at home on Oscar night watching Murder, She ...

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I haven’t really spoken to Charlie since October. I never wrote about what happened because it was really upsetting. If you’re lost about who I’m talking about, take a quick peek at 3. Fable (The...

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Everything happening in the US is just so dispiriting that I don’t really want to write because then I’ll have to think… and I’d like not to think for a little while… but that won’t happen. At le...

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I believe there is a curse on anyone who tries to set-up their friends. I used to hang out with a girl named Crystal, I’m sure I wrote about the last time we hung out, I just can’t seem to find t...

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