Pretend Mulling ⋅ 31

I've never been able to plan my life. I just lurch from indecision to indecision.

Alan Rickman

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By Dr. Cornelia Griggs I’ve had hard conversations this week. “Look me in the eye,” I said to my neighbor Karen, who was spiraling to a dark place in her mind. “I make this personal promise to yo...


According to a Marist/NPR poll, only 37% of those polled trust what Cheeto Benito is saying about coronavirus… And 84% of them trusted public health officials. You guys, I think -I’m not sure, b...


I think he’s right about casting the president. My only question is, what was so horrifically awful that we ended up with a failed real estate tycoon who was marginally successful as a reality ...


I’m pretty sure I sprained my neck… by sleeping in the wrong position. Welcome to Life In Your 30s, I suppose. The last time I sprained my neck, it was a sports injury from almost falling off a...


Am I the only one thinking that the whole “don’t be a Karen” thing (i.e., don’t be a flaming bag of clap-riddled dick to customer service workers) is noble and incredibly needed, but also kind of...


First day back at work since Friday. My supervisor forgot to tell my attorneys I was out Tuesday and Wednesday (I told my team lead I’d be out Monday for the MRI), so my inbox was full of my att...


If you leave a note “criticizing” something I wrote (i.e. “Your opinions don’t line up with mine, let me detail every way in which you’re a stupid little cunt who should be sucking my dick rather...


Since Saturday: My iPhone 7 bricked while I was at work. Since I rely on GPS to do that job, I essentially lost a day of work and tips. I replaced it with an iPhone 11. This was the easiest...


To whoever may read this: I fear this is the end. I made a Spotify playlist dedicated to late 90s/early 2000s pop hits last week, and I have listened to it almost incessantly since. My pancreas h...


This guy, Cody Johnston, used to write for Cracked, before they fired all their good writers and tried to become Buzzfeed. Some More News is basically Last Week Tonight for people who don’t have...


Current Annoyance: My right eye is swollen, and I have no idea what got into it this time. Current Bane of My Existence: Benadryl. It takes the swelling down, but it also makes me sleepy and giv...


Senator Bernie Sanders is supposedly “refusing” to release his full medical records, after having a heart attack last October. The anti-Sanders camp are latching onto this, saying it’s “proof” t...


Denizens of the Box of Prose, meet Doomer Girl. From the article: Doomer Girl is, a month into her young life, a generalized prompt. She’s the basic idea of a melancholy girl with an elegant bob...


That was a trending topic on Twitter, on January 28th, after Rep. Ilhan Omar asked people to tweet at her what they’d do if they didn’t have student loan debt. The answers were pretty predictabl...


We still have no printers at work (and I don’t mean “the printers are down,” I mean we physically do not have printers in the office), so I’m bored and stuck here until 4:30. I started to clean ...


Redditor posits this: “God is retiring, and asks you to permanently replace him. What is the first thing you do as the new God?” Buzzfeed cribs the post and shares the replies their writer thoug...


I’m not going to post the entire article here, since I think it’s too long, but I will share the last third or so, because I think it’s the most relatable part, as someone who grew up Assemblies ...


I think it might make me look kind of busy. Maybe. Is there always going to be that one person you and a friend makes fun of? Cheeto Benito, for sure. Would you confess an otherwise safe secr...


The Academy Awards have made mistakes before, our critic writes. But this year’s crop of best-picture nominees may be the breaking point. By Wesley Morris Published Feb. 4, 2020 Updated Feb. 5, 2...


So, let’s recap the last four or so days: Thursday The Intro to Philosophy class I took at Ivy Tech, as a visiting guest student from IUPUI, was eligible for a CREDIT transfer, but not a GRADE tr...


Please tell me I’m not the only one who feels like January 2020 has lasted for about fifty years. Random Life Updates: College IUPUI is back up to their same ol’ happy horseshit. They’re telling...


Baking sweet potatoes in the slow cooker = Really good idea. Baking russett potatoes in the slow cooker = Kinda not a great idea, actually. The russetts cooked, but not particularly well; they’r...


Because I don’t really see the point in doing it. For me, I should say this decade wasn’t really remarkable: Didn’t have any significant change in relationship status, didn’t have kids, didn’t ma...


Kitchen: Clean (ish, still needs decluttered; anyone need a box and a half of quart-sized, plastic Ziploc bags? I just bought a set of reusable ones, trying to be more eco-conscious), and I took ...


You read that right, folks: I, Pretend Mulling, am officially On Vacation until next Monday. And it’s off to a pretty good start (apart from getting into a hit-and-run this morning): I got home, ...


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