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I appreciate the comments/concern/compassion on my previous entry. I didn’t reply to them and I haven’t been here since then. I don’t have anything to say. I’m speechless. I’m sorry I’m so rude a...
A punchy title is a showcase for personal mushy indulgences, like wit & depth & lingual acuity or else allusion to an allegiance of vanities. Sociology seems dull but some social graces, ...
I wrote this one year ago, today. Incredibly super reliable bipolar cycle. Organic clockwork at its finest. (Slightly edited to reflect minor personal growth.)
Fool me twice,
Who gets shame?
Laying down in the dark, eyes open. Can’t tell what the fuck I’ve written. In my bed there’s no head, contrary to what I’ve said, I’m no longer a person. More like a cretin. Dead. Poisoned by the...
Loyalty came early
Showered & fed
Dazzling in red
Witness to bear
It isn’t clear.
Who was there?
Out on the floor
I can write and think
In disappearing ink
There used to be a point here
Instead of a riddle
It faded from sight
Followed by memory
One sound changed things
Turned the floor to snake skin
Couldn’t find a phone then
To notify yer next of kin
Everything was writhing
And I could hardly stand
The feeling came creeping
From the f...
Right. Inside joke is so inside. Internalized as medicinal laughter. Fatal overdose considered unlikely.
I am in poor humor. Perhaps its literal poverty causing my rainy parade slump. Or it could be the gears grinding on my bipolar cycle. My deranged lack of foresight and compulsive spending have wa...
I haven’t written anything of merit in a lifetime of narcissistic thought records. That’s a comfort. Disappointment is an external concept, like time and presence. Despite occasional efforts, the...
Early morning thinking
Thoughts transcribed to
From my mind to my
I love this art-
To speak fluidly
Melting my sentences
I’m surface tense
& then the...
I wonder if the sunlight’s effect on my personality is qualitative or fictional. It never fails to strike the surface angrily, unwelcome for the brash introduction. If I am patient, tho, the host...
I have four drafts saved up for never. I hope they’re published posthumously and everyone can stand around and say, Well! Now! Where are the chairs?
What if I told someone the truth about realit...
Why do birds suddenly appear any time you are near? Just like me, they long to be.....close to the action, fingers in pulse proximity, active participants of any sudden movements, distinguished b...
I’m referring to your spidey senses, of course. You ever wonder if there’s someone else out there feeling the same ‘fucked up’ as you- another flesh sack capable of relating to the reality you ha...
I need to see a physician!
But I’m the only doctor around
My wounds require attention
My mood requires prescription
Got friendship in a pill form?
I’ll trade time for medication
Is this a fungal ...
I need to put some words here. I’ve written two meandering entries recently- the first was a poem about dead acquaintance taxidermy & posable, life-sized horror doll friendship; the second en...
You ever wonder how many fingers I’m holding up?
Ever think about killing yerself constantly?
Is that an understatement?
What’s going on over my head, then? I’m always behind on the best gossip. Did I already do it? You probably wouldn’t tell...
I wonder what age I will be the next time I’m acting. I am so fucked in the funny bone. It’s not even a question of gray areas without dark matter. zzzz I’m having a slumber party. It’s more like...
I am scared of everyone and all this stuff makes me want to run away. I’m not equipped for passive resentments or love at first sight situations. I don’t pretend my feelings are insignificant in ...
I don’t know what else to say, but I’m still not better. My head is in so much pain and there’s nothing to relieve the pressure in my coping mechanism skill set. It is admittedly limited. I did t...
It happened again, this time with less grace. The trauma event itself was more real to me than it has been in a long time. I got lost. I was beaten & raped while lying in my bathtub. It was a...
Docket of Cases:
Does she complete him? Does the lie get deeper? I just realized what everyone else sees.... there’s a flood of communication behind the scenes. They’ve penned near novellas comp...
Are you having sex with Jenn now? Are you shooting from the hip yet?
Or is it more like taking a deep breath? Are you coping well?
I love you. What’s love mean?