1/23/05 in Victim of Society

It all started off Friday night when I went to a party in Diamond Bar with Margot. We met up with Jen and her friend Matt. After the band, they were all hungry so we decided to go to Carl's Jr. When I first met Matt he kept touching me and stuff and I thought he wasjust really friendly so I went with it. And he was like "were gonna have sex tonite natalie" and i was like "oh ok.." and then he pinky promises me. I didn't care though I just figured he was really hot so if he really actually did want to why not? He asked me his age I asked him his...he said 20 I said 17 he said "not too bad". We went to Carl's it was closed so we went thru the drive thru and at they ate in my car. I wasn't hungry so I didn't eat. Matt was sitting behind me, Jen was sitting behind Margot. They finished eating, Matt pulled my seat down and started kissing my ears and neck. I let him. Matt started going down my shirt and into my bra. I tried to pull his hands away, he said "why are you trying to pull away?" I said sorry and I let him keep going. Margot and Jen looked over with shocked looks. I said it was ok. Matt told them to leave, Margot was like ok lets go Jen. Jen was like NO MATT STOP! He didn't. They didn't leave the car he said fine, he started fingering me, I was wearing a short skirt. He told them we were going to have sex so they better leave the car. Jen's friend called and said he needed a ride and Matt was supposed to be his ride. So Jen told Matt they HAD to go. He seemed pissed and said FINE and got out of the car with Jen. We followed them back to the party which was broken up by then. Then everyone went over to Denny's and as we stood there waiting for a table Matt wouldn't even talk to me or look at me. I wouldn't have been so mad at him if he didn't act like such an ass at Denny's but whatever. I guess all I'm good for is being used. I didn't feel like staying there any longer so I told Margot I wanted to leave so we went back to La Verne and hung out with Randy and all of them at the pool hall. And then some guy gave us a pack of cigs and I started smoking.

The next day I went on MySpace and found Matt's page and also found out he has a girlfriend. And I looked at her page and there was a pic of him and it said she loved him and then there was a pic of both of them kissing. And I just felt like complete shit at that point.