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1.) Deconstructing melodrama is just post-maudlinism. 2.) In Soviet Russia, Hustle respects YOU! 3.) Your line of Garbage Pail Kids knock offs about hipsters will be called Trash Fund Kids. 4.)...

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1.) LESS KEANU REEVES MEMES, MORE ALEX WINTER MEMES! 2.) Your movie about a German exchange student who can’t find love will be called LOVE POTION NUMBER NEIN. 3.) If you can memorize the new pl...

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1.) These people do not believe in competence, they only believe in confidence. When you see that as the driving force behind these proto-fascists, the whole game becomes clear. 2.) The theme of ...

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1.) Isn’t a wedding shower just a blender reveal party? 2.) A deepfake of the pope dancing around singing “Oh, me so holy, oh oh, me so holy, oh, me so holy, I bless you long time”. 3.) A televi...

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1.) Two. The answer is two. Exactly two angels can dance on the head of a pin. Any more than two and it would be a line-dance and angels are too cool for line-dancing. 2.) A youtube video putting...

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you are a white light and this life is a prism no, it isn’t a prison this life is a prism a prism temporarily exposing the spectra of all the many things you can be, could be all of the thi...

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if you meet the Buddha on the road take all of his stuff and tell him “I’m just helping you shed your attachments” if you meet the Buddha on the road kill him with kindness complimen...

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we gotta let go of the past but it can’t be for anyone else’s sake we can’t make that choice for them we have let go of the past for our own continuing health our very own s...

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the mandala that intricate sand paintings they make in the far east taking day taking weeks that they destroy upon completion so as to remind us how everything beautiful ends to remind us ho...

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1.) “Where should I put the bust I’m commissioning an artist to sculpt of me?” she thought then paused “Ah, but I’m getting a head of myself…” 2.) No, YOU’RE singing “What’s up, chicken butt, who...

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1.) Youtube has a cloning operation growing an army of attractive-but-not-intimidatingly-so redheads to host all future videos about tabletop gaming, deep in a fallout shelter beneath a suburb of...

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1.) If you wouldn’t be sued into oblivion for it “Cap’n Crunch And Tenille” would be the greatest name for a band of all time, which only proves that our intellectual property laws need to be ove...

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1.) We must let go of the past but it can’t be for anyone else’s sake, since we can’t make that choice for them. We gotta let go of the past for our own better health, no more and no less, and mo...

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1.) My biggest flaw as an improv comedian is hating silence. I sometimes roll over people with my ideas, not out of ego happily at least, but out of fear of my team feeling bad, I don’t want my t...

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1.) You’re a white light, this life is a prism, temporarily exposing the spectrum of all the things you can be, could be, all the things that you are. Some day the gem will be pulled away & y...

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Most places can’t say they have a pornography-and-bicycle-repair shop, then again, I’m not from most places. I’m from a very specific place on a razor’s edge between the relative civilization of ...

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1.) An auteur is just a person that has found so much success in collaboration with others that they now get to pretend all those colloborations no longer happened. Did you see what happened to S...

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1.) The best idea for a Metallica parody is clearly “Pastor of Muppets”. 2.) If you put the members of Blues Traveler, Barenaked Ladies & Hootie and the Blowfish all in the same room at once,...

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My time spent Los Angeles made me lazy. No, not lazy, not exactly. When I had work and knew what I was supposed to be doing, I worked my ass off, point me in some direction and give me a push, I’...

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1.) If there were a Sister Act Cinematic Universe fan convention, I hope they’d call it Sister Act Celebation. 2.) I mean, you COULD write a parody of “No Diggity” about Antigone. It would be mad...

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1.) Since so many movie franchises are soft-rebooting with the children of the original protagonists getting the torch passed to them, I figure we could do, like, Ash’s daughter is AMY OF DARKNES...

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1.) Emo elevators play “The Girl From Weepanema”. 2.) A parody of the Stones “Shattered” about the slow decline from beloved genre actor to bitter alt-right Twitter crank of William Shatner? 3.)...

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1.) You will travel the world, looking for yourself, and you will find in a junk shop a mug with the name of the place you come from, second hand, a souvenir of home. 2.) You can easily determin...

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1.) Jonah went back to prevent Hitler humanely, by seducing his mother before he was born, not knowing Hitler was illegitimate to start, changing nothing, merely completing a stable time-loop. No...

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1.) The problem is that we’ve progressed enough where the agents of hatred and fear can only put forward the craziest proudest idiots to stand for their causes, prepared to gamble the fate of the...

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