littlefallsmets ⋅ 46 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,475
Page 88 of 219
sept 12 in idea barrages
In the 80s, you probably should’ve changed your name to Lawrence Aaron Times and sold positive quotes about movies under your nickname “L.A.” to crappy direct-to-VHS releases for their boxes. ...
sept 11 in idea barrages
The grossest Halloween food product you could make to trend online but wouldn’t be good: “candy-cornish game hen”. I am probably, like, the cauliflower crust pizza of men. Like, I am probably...
sept 10 in idea barrages
Medical fashion: a catwalk where all the designs are made out of CVS receipts. No, the nerdiest parody ever would be about Deep Space Nine and be called Trilling Me Softly (With This Slug). ...
sept 9 in idea barrages
I kind of want to put a domino mask on a Halloween skeleton in hopes someone asks why so I can stare them straight in the eye and say “He’s The Bone Ranger”. The Jedi Council tried explaining...
sept 8 in idea barrages
Shaming people for needing a calculator is textbook toxic mathulinity. Corrupt billionaires lord over their cities by plucking desperate young boys from the ghettos & boonies, throwing th...
sept 7 in idea barrages
I mean, what if it turns out that the cure to all diseases was eating those little compressed sponges that turn into dinosaurs in hot water? What if they’d just soak up all the germs but no one...
sept 6 in idea barrages
Whenever someone calls that part of the wedding “THE RING CEREMONY” it sounds like a badass ritual from an epic fantasy battle but nah. Your running-a-restaurant roleplaying game will be call...
sept 5 in idea barrages
Whenever a gun nut starts talking about “trigger discipline”, yell “ROY ROGERS TREATED HIS HORSE LIKE A CHERISHED FRIEND!” You take the good, you take the bad/you take them both and there you...
sept 4 in idea barrages
On a long enough scale of time and weight fluctuation, Meatloaf and Quentin Tarantino will eventually become twins. Your video game about Juuling that will never actually be released will be ...
sept 3 in idea barrages
Some cast i-Ching, some consult cards, some watch stars. I guess I dabble in frequomancy. I hit scan on the radio and listen for songs speaking to my situation. It’s silly, it probably means no...
sept 2 in idea barrages
If you’re having pumpkin spice anything before there’s actual pumpkins with which to make actual fresh pumpkin syrup, you aren’t having a “pumpkin spice” nothing, you’re paying Starbucks extra ...
keyword: inhibition, title: letters from the evolutionary war in misc. flash fiction
I couldn’t tell you the full chemical name, I can’t even write it, let alone pronounce it. Tetra-hydro-morpho-something. I’m no scientist, I can’t pretend to be. Most called it its marketing name...
sept opener in idea barrages
Your line of marijuana-infused chicken nuggets will be called “Fat Nugz”. You will be a billionaire. The realization that Sublime “bad fish” and 4 Non Blondes “what’s up” are the exact same s...
august capstone in idea barrages
A Shakespeare inspired craft beer called Lambic Pentameter. If you like NY style pizza, Chicago style pizza, California style pizza, all kinds of pizza, you are panpizza. If you have an ove...
small wonders in poetry
Don’t let your world get small. Don’t hole yourself up inside an idea or an identity. Don’t hole yourself up between four literal walls. Nothing will drive you crazier than if you letting you...
the moral event horizon in poetry
don’t think of yourself as a “good person” think of yourself as a person trying to be good if you believe you’re good you’ll probably get lazy possibly lose perspective or even worse yet be...
on grounds of insanity (part 1) in poetry
Sentences that make total sense as a barista but sound dirty anywhere else: “My apologies, I need to grind in front of your face for a minute or two.” Sentences that make total sense as a b...
rolling for initiative in poetry
my mother was a healer who should’ve been a leader my father was a blacksmith who should’ve been a bard had an ex who went to Sage but then she turned the page I’m just a jack-off of all tr...
aug 30 in idea barrages
In the “Peter Porker, Spider-Ham” universe, I sure as hell hope that Moon Knight was a cow named Moo Knight. Sentences that make total sense as a barista but sound dirty anywhere else: “I’m s...
aug 29 in idea barrages
If Meatless Mondays are helping to clean up the Earth, imagine the internet with Memeless Mondays. No, actually the best name of all for a country-western drag queen would simply be “Tanya Tu...
keyword: pestilent, title: insufficient funds in misc. flash fiction
The baseball team that I follow isn’t very good. I mean that literally, the Mets aren’t very good, they’re interesting but flawed, they’ll win more than they’ll lose, they just won’t finish anywh...
aug 28 in idea barrages
Whenever a video has a hover-over for “click to enlarge” I always first read it as “click to enrage” which would be more honest to the nature of the internet, really. I don’t know exactly wha...
aug 27 in idea barrages
The 1950s horror B-movie about my life would be called THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN’T SLEEP. I had the dream again, where I led a coup at Saturday Night Live to actually try to be funny instead of j...
aug 26 in idea barrages
To inhale your own vomit and choke on it is called “aspirating”. Whenever our consumer culture is defended as “aspirational” it always makes a kind of sense the speaker doesn’t intend, choking ...
aug 25 in idea barrages
A mash-up of Clapton’s “Let It Rain” and that “Jesus Is Just All Right” song. Similar structures. Someone got violently ill at the costume party so, thinking quickly, the hostess turned to th...
