littlefallsmets ⋅ 46 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,442
Page 82 of 218
dec 7 in idea barrages
All I know about “modern” country is that their names could all be the names of like mid-tier WWF wrestlers. I’m pretty sure there’s some dude out there named Luke Bryan but I’ve no idea if he’...
dec 6 in idea barrages
A reality show about tracking and confining business people trying to manipulate public policy so that they don’t have to pay their fair share of taxes called Shirk Tank. My love language is ...
dec 5 in idea barrages
You’re lucky I don’t know diddly about The Dragonballz else I’d be doing a parody of the entire musical EVITA about Vegeta. A robot band should count off their rhythm in binary. Sometimes I...
dec 4 in idea barrages
Before our society completely collapses, we really ought to bury some stashes of McDonalds memorabilia strategically so that the alien anthropologists think the McDonaldland characters were act...
dec 3 in idea barrages
If Canadians can somehow stomach the horror that is Clamato, there should be a Canadian protein drink called Mussel Milk. I feel like the disgusting touch screens at McDonald’s are a stealth ...
dec 2 in idea barrages
They didn’t need the help of the world’s fattest knight to win the battle but it was nice to know he was there anyway. It never hurts to have Sir Plus. A series of BDSM-themed workout videos ...
dec 1 in idea barrages
“Better than any of the Terminator sequels after T2” is the definition of damning with faint praise. I just realized what we can call the super rich evangelical extremists propping up Trump i...
nov 30 in idea barrages
Mr. Bean but actually made of beans. Without all the weird hair and beard and whatnot, Guy Fieri kind of looks like Ted Cruz’s non-evil twin. The most terrifying concept I could come up wit...
nov 29 in idea barrages
In Soviet Robocop, machine rages against YOU. If something is similar in form and tone to Billie Eilish is it Billie Eilishish? Basketball with fighting like 70s hockey would be called BATT...
nov 28 in idea barrages
The Flash complains that the Cosmic Treadmill isn’t allowing him to time-travel and it’s really bringing him down. Batman explains that the Flash was accidentally using the Hedonic Treadmill in...
nov 27 in idea barrages
Neurosurgery is often unnerving. On Soviet tumblr, otherkin identifies as YOU. The Swiss phrase for a Swiss Army knife roughly translates back into the English as “the toothpick that is mis...
nov 26 in idea barrages
83% of all kids’ movies could be ended three minutes in by the phrase “Yes, there is actually a rule that a dog cannot play basketball. It is the very first rule to basketball in the basketball...
nov 25 in idea barrages
If you sell freeze dried pork products, the only acceptable name for your line is Kelvin Bacon. If you celebrate your victory by blasting precious sensitive indie-rock at your fallen opponent...
nov 24 in idea barrages
But if I DID own a bakery supply store, it’d surely be called KNEADFUL THINGS. Eventually, as with all bands, Mumford and Sons will have one or two remaining members desperate for cash, touri...
nov 23 in idea barrages
Big Guitar is just playing Guitar Leftists and Guitar Rightists against the Guitar Center. Wake up, sheeple. If you pick up and throw the guy dressed as Elmo in front of Times Square as far a...
keyword: quell, title: sturdy and unhinged in misc. flash fiction
Most can’t say they’ve had the Secret Service begin to draw their guns on them but, then again, I’m not most people. Most folk can date level-headed partners without getting bored out of their sk...
nov 22 in idea barrages
TAKE ME DOWN TO THE PARROT ICE CITY WHERE A GOOD SNOW CONE IS STILL A BUCK FIDDY, OH WON’T YOU PLEASE BUY A CONE? How hasn’t Marilyn Manson done a song called Demons Are A Girl’s Best Friend?...
nov 21 in idea barrages
. He hurt his back falling into a wardrobe, suffering a narniated disc. If he had REALLY wanted to piss off Han Solo, Kylo Ren could’ve invited his dad to a meal of truce and during the desser...
nov 20 in idea barrages
Lula roe is actually the eggs of people who demand to speak to a manager. Being trapped in my mind means spending a morning considering if the theme song to STAR TREK ENTERPRISE was ripped o...
nov 19 in idea barrages
I don’t think that Mad Magazine ever did an article about being emo called “Welcome To The Blech Parade” and I think we’re all a little less for that. A magic item that gives you, like, +4 st...
nov 18 in idea barrages
This sentence either is a tautology or it is not a tautology and that’s why it is a tautology. Maybe as we all are mortal, we should view all interactions with each other as palliative care. ...
keyword: collage, title: extraction in misc. flash fiction
They say when you’re about to die, your life flashes before your eyes and while that’s kind of what it’s like, they’re not quite right. Flashing before your eyes describes a strict linear order, ...
nov 17 in idea barrages
In trade for giving us a female James Bond, we will let you cast the antagonist as an apathetic millennial supervillain named Dr. Meh. For Halloween, I’m going to dress up as a functioning me...
nov 16 in idea barrages
The REAL Loch Ness monster was Dr. MacFrankenstein, the head of the Loch Ness Tourism Board. I can’t recall what I had for lunch yesterday but I can sing you “Be cool about fire safety, be co...
nov 15 in idea barrages
step 1: carve a small axe out of a skateboard. step 2: refer to it as your tonyhawk. step 3: ??? step 4: PROFIT! Just walk up to someone say “needless to say” and then walk away. The dog an...
