littlefallsmets ⋅ 46 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,440
Page 68 of 218
aug 8 in idea barrages
Wishing each other Happy Hondadays is just a small part of the larger War on Chryslermas. A “president” refusing to mask because feigning strength in a time of crisis is more important than l...
prompt: star, title: arts & silences in misc. flash fiction
The word is not the thing, of course, Korzybski, but the hope is that the word can at least gesture toward it. We use our words like B.B. pellets at a carnival shooting range, where one could nev...
aug 7 in idea barrages
Ideas had sitting with the dog in the Price Chopper parking lot: if you were performing “Teenage Wasteland” live with a fiddler, why not segue straight into “Istabul Not Constantinople” after? ...
aug 6 in idea barrages
Unable to tell whether the bite marks were from a werewolf or vampire, the coroner simply wrote “Died of Supernatural Causes”. Getting his head smashed by Satan like a watermelon, every hour ...
There’s a line on Figure Eight by Elliott Smith, his spirit mentioned previous, that goes “Got a foot in the door, God knows what for”. When first I listened, I thought it just clever songwriting...
aug 5 in idea barrages
We cannot say that Rachel Ray has EATEN human flesh, that would be absurd, but she is rich and powerful enough where it is almost certain that it has been offered to her in all seriousness at l...
aug 4 in idea barrages
If you remember the GARFIELD comic strip being good, you are confusing it with the television shows, which were often good. The strip was at best bizarre. It is a flaw of our minds that we conf...
aug 3 in idea barrages
The optimal Muppet-based Van Halen parody would be Panama/Animal, yeah? A documentary on the state of pornographic film industry during the COVID-19 pandemic called THE NUDE NORMAL. Were Al...
aug 2 in idea barrages
Singing “Head Like A Hole” with “Doug Funnie” instead of “God Money” won’t do you any material good but it’ll put a smile on your face. A ham sandwich double-fried in a tempura-panko kinda cr...
aug 1 in idea barrages
This Christmas, after the third wave of the plague, when moving the Elf on the Shelf don’t forget to use hand santatizer. A head canon where the Russian stereotype boxer and the Italian stere...
july 31 in idea barrages
We just crossed the point, long past where they thought they could ignore a plague with magical thinking where they’ve finally decided it’s real but if they let enough people die, they can call...
prompt: bark, title: driven to distraction in misc. flash fiction
You must understand, I felt like a failure. Disappointed and lonely, didn’t know what to do. I’d accomplished all these things, made all these things but all I could feel was anxious emptiness. I...
july 30 in idea barrages
“I find the term Public Defecation so limiting,” she said, “I prefer to say that I… void where prohibited.” A hippie vampire called Count Erkultur. Olive’s cousin who is always trying to ro...
july 29 in idea barrages
You are being carried piggyback through the city streets by your leather slave at high speeds. You leap off while he continues barreling downhill. You run alongside him, now, while your crew ch...
we owe a lot to the darkness despite how we always degrade it assign it to negatives treat it like a hell we owe a lot to the darkness we go in the darkness to sleep we go in the darkness...
understood but not spoken in poetry
I’m burdened with knowing a language that I cannot myself speak the language of music oh, I can re-write the lyrics of others pretty well and can carry a half-a-tune I can ...
july 28 in idea barrages
“Vagina dentata is such an ugly term,” she said, “I prefer to say… Georgia O’Teeth.” Look J. Jonah Jameson square in the eye and whisper, in your best eastern European accent “In Soviet Russi...
july 27 in idea barrages
They say “Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Death”, they mean “Give Me Liberty Even If It Means Your Death”. An Eminem parody built around the line “Whoops, there goes Hannity” would be fun. If yo...
july 26 in idea barrages
If you work out to death, you are visited by the gym reaper. I have little risk of such an encounter. Here we are on the precipice of a disaster we cannot imagine and that is why we fail, a l...
july 25 in idea barrages
A rapping rabbi called Biggie Schmaltz. Possibly assisted by Sean “Purim” Combiwitz. It is impossible to see a picture of Pete Davidson in 2020 without thinking “The quarantine has been reall...
july 24 in idea barrages
Sean Bean, Billy Beane and Rowan Atchinson’s shared podcast THREE BEAN(E) CASSAROLE. It’s like Jaws except about a sasquatch, it’s called FEET and the catchphrase is “We’re Gonna Need A Bigge...
july 23 in idea barrages
Power fantasies about violent revolution are just as cruel, impotent, counter-productive & inhumane on the left with guillotines as they are with assault rifles on the right. Society is too...
Before it became The Suburbs, the San Fernando Valley north of Los Angeles was just a bunch of orange groves. You can still receive lectures from local old-timers about those days, whether they a...
july 22 in idea barrages
Payouts at a horserace are set by first determining the likelihoods of wins and losses via a Gallop Poll. A Hall and Oates parody about Flo on ALICE. “My grits, my grits, that you should kiss...
july 21 in idea barrages
If you misheard the lyrics as “Splinter taught them to speak Japanese” you’d only be literally wrong but right within the spirit of the cartoon’s canon. I can only hear the Popeyes jingle as ...
