littlefallsmets ⋅ 46 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,474
Page 62 of 219
jan 5 in idea barrages
A movie about Sesame Street getting canceled for being bigoted against grouches called UNFOLLOW THAT BIRD. When you invest your entire savings into a medical marijuana dispensary, you’re tota...
jan 4 in idea barrages
Little high-test micro Bloody Mary called a Mary, Queen of Shots. It’s a haiku, it’s a koan, it’s a haikoan. The only haikoan 2020 requires: how many psychic fairs were cancelled beca...
jan 3 in idea barrages
You didn’t need pizza on a bagel to have pizza any time. You always could’ve had pizza whenever you wanted. It was societal expectation holding you back, not a bagel’s lack. Free your mind and ...
jan 2 in idea barrages
I just hope that in the worst named television show of all time “Shasta McNasty” the lead character had an arch enemy named Shasta McNamaste who was like a super chill yoga bro who always upsta...
prompt: syrup, title: the real stuff in misc. flash fiction
“Gimmie the real stuff,” the old man said each and every time he ate there, “not the fake crap they gave us in ‘Nam.” Whenever he was in that diner, he ordered the pancakes and eggs and whenever ...
jan 1 in idea barrages
The removal of the intricate animatronic floorshows diminished Chuck E. Cheese from Child Las Vegas Casino all the way down to Child Gas Station Just Over The Nevada Border With Eight Video Slo...
dec 31 in idea barrages
That South Park “all the sides are equally stupid because they’re trying and everything that tries is stupid, FART NOISE” energy certainly doesn’t play well these grim days, that’s for sure. ...
dec 30 in idea barrages
Since “pomme de terre” is French for potato, I hope a vodka sommelier is called a “pommelier”. The realization that with the proper slant pronunciation “Guy Fieri” can rhyme with “Mom’s spagh...
dec 29 in idea barrages
What kind of an idiot bankrupts a casino? It’s literally a license to steal money. “Mister Loaf was my father, please, call me Meat.” Sanders, the Icarus moment for the American left, a del...
dec 28 in idea barrages
When we don’t sleep, the push-downs become the bubble-ups. Let yourself sleep. Those push-downs, they can stay down there for one night, it’s okay. They’ll be there tomorrow and the fight will ...
dec 27 in idea barrages
Sometimes I feel like faith’s a curse placed on the heads of woman and man, to blind us to the true wonder of this world by providing us with fantasies far more wild and grandiose than those ex...
dec 26 in idea barrages
If you gotta say “I don’t mean it in a weird way” you know that you mean it in the WEIRDEST way. I’ve explained to so many gas station clerks what the lotto-quick-pick Super Pack is might as ...
dec 25 in idea barrages
A story of a gnome paladin that rides Cerberus as a mount called “Three-Dog Knight”. Actually, the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing folks that Bob Dylan wasn’t behind the e...
dec 24 in idea barrages
They believe their money, their inherited wealth, makes them a different species, a next step in evolution, homo pecunia rising above mere homo sapiens. But it’s just shiny metal, paper in thei...
prompt: gold, title: the midas touch in misc. flash fiction
“The Hands that touched the Hands” is the Catholic tradition that fascinates me most. The idea the mandate for their clergy, from pope to parish priest, is derived from an unbroken chain of conta...
dec 23 in idea barrages
While carving D&D miniatures out of soft wood, you sing to yourself “an orc is an orc of cork, of cork, and no one can talk to an orc of cork, though some would fork on speech to orcs, if t...
dec 22 in idea barrages
A cult leader who forces his followers to workout to death called Gym Jones. I respect the Keurig machine for its tenacity in its endless requests for descaling and the water filter being cha...
dec 21 in idea barrages
Even if you love the hell out of football, you have to admit it’s gross how in the middle of a plague, so many people are acting like “well, football’s back! everything’s normal again!” because...
dec 20 in idea barrages
Cloning time, three more times for alcohol, so get those other mes two beers. Cloning time, one of me could go home while those two stay here. I KNOW WHERE TO GO TO GET SOME CLONES, I KNOW WHER...
dec 19 in idea barrages
Yes, I was just rapping “I just don’t trust investments, no dividends, no dividends” what of it? Whenever “Ahhhh!” is used just in text, I don’t read it as “AAAH SCARY” I read it as “AAAH REF...
dec 18 in idea barrages
The deaths by COVID-19, a health crisis nearly every other civilized nation handled at least twice as well, that body-count is currently around 70 times that of the September 11th attacks. And ...
prompt: band, title: the roadie less travelled in "sasquatch of los angeles" flash fiction
“What was he like, Frank?” “Who?” “Zevon,” I asked the sasquatch, half honest curiosity, half changing the subject, “you must have some crazy stories, working the road for Warren Zevon.” Frank s...
dec 17 in idea barrages
The problem with pointing out that Trump lied is that the people who voted for him don’t care. They think you lie to “win” and that’s fine. He bragged about his many rapes into a live mic and t...
dec 16 in idea barrages
Every time I see a “SNAP-ON” sticker on the back of a truck with a little wrench as an act of performative masculinity by some dude with a pristine pick-up he never uses for work, only for show...
dec 15 in idea barrages
A cafeteria for berserker vikings called The Flyagaric Munch-Room. A Mork and Mindy fan-fiction competition called NanooNanooWriMo. I hope that when the wreckage of our culture is found, th...
