littlefallsmets ⋅ 46 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,474
Page 61 of 219
jan 27 in idea barrages
If you can’t tell who’s shallow and who isn’t, that’s just poor depth perception. Sun Chips are the ultimate diet food because everyone can hear you opening the bag from three states away. Ha...
jan 26 in idea barrages
Humans, with our pinprick lifespans, have no greater blessing than doubt. Doubt allows us to change, to adapt, to endure, to empathize beyond our own experience, in other words, to love. Certai...
jan 25 in idea barrages
If you’re emotionally cheating on your lover with your backgammon partner, she or he is your sidegammon. A theory on how to put the Reeses’ Pieces together into a Reeses’ Whole could be expre...
jan 24 in idea barrages
Hamburglar is just the disappointing failson of the legendary rogue Beefthief. In the Grimace species, there is a decentralized nervous system with essentially four brain lobes, one in each a...
jan 23 in idea barrages
Nosferatu look down upon modern vampires, dismissing them as painfully new-fangeled. An alpha-build of a video game about Dr. Pimple Popper would be in early-abcess. It’s like RATATOUILLE b...
jan 22 in idea barrages
Sometimes a speech impediment is just an obstructed vowel. No, the worst wordplay possible would be “stuffed crotch pizza”. Fan fiction about Lucille Ricardo joining the police force called...
prompt: alchemy, title: half lives in misc. flash fiction
Everyone wants the easy way out and I’m no different. I have a ticket for tonight’s lottery, even though the odds are six-hundred-million-to-one. Someone has to win eventually, why not throw two ...
jan 21 in idea barrages
Wakko, Yakko and Dot never mention the forgotten third Warner brother, Malcolm-Jamal. Yes, I would write an entire story about Jesus as a super-spy just to get to the line “Manger is my middl...
jan 20 in idea barrages
Hate is just fear that thinks it can do something about itself. Love is just being so sad about being hurt by hate that you realize no one should ever feel as sad as you do. PAUL BLART 3: AMC...
jan 19 in idea barrages
The unpopular banana recycling law was eventually repeeled. The Confederacy poured so many of its resources into murdering humans to protect their ability to treat humans as property that Ame...
jan 18 in idea barrages
Baseball teaches us, in metaphor, things too difficult to accept straight on. Example: the best relief pitcher to ever exist will only become that because he wasn’t good enough to even be the w...
jan 17 in idea barrages
These deluded fools, they feel like failures and cling to the lie that their whiteness makes them better because it’s all they have left. They’ll cling to religion and guns to try and protect t...
jan 16 in idea barrages
If I were part of a supervillain duo, I would make our code-names “Collaborate” and “Listen” so that when a superhero or a cop or whatever yelled “STOP! COLLABORATE AND LISTEN!” people would st...
jan 15 in idea barrages
I am sick of hipster interpretations of Santa Claus where he is svelte. Why can’t we have Old Saint Thicc instead? Baby Yoda, here we go again, my my. (I would write the parody longer but tha...
jan 14 in idea barrages
In a bunk bed, someone always oversleeps. Took a nap and had a nightmare that I went back and tried to change the Grinch before the events of “Stole Christmas”, causing him to spoil the child...
jan 13 in idea barrages
The name “George Wonka Bush” actually explains a whole lot of things. The presses fired up for another printing of Finnegan’s Wake and there was much reJoyceing. Some people found it heartw...
“Identity’s the real problem here,” she told her wife, dragging another word processing file to the trash, “no one knows what to do with identity anymore.” Her wife could’ve well pointed out how ...
jan 12 in idea barrages
NOW MAAAAAYBE/ YOU’RE RUINING YOUR FRIES WITH GRAVY / CUZ AFTER ALL / POUTINE’S A BAD CALL How is the Republican party like a pack of Lunchables? Any potential there is ruined by being filled...
jan 11 in idea barrages
When the alien anthropologists find the sports stadia of old America, will they rightly understand them as the temples and shrines of our governmentally-supported civic polytheism or will they ...
jan 10 in idea barrages
The larval form of the frogman is the minnowtaur. I was wracking my brain for a reality where U2’s existence was a net-positive and I only could come up with, like, maybe if in hell they play...
jan 9 in idea barrages
The weirdest thing about Trump is how much of his cult are just living vicariously through the crimes and sins, like someone watching the terrible unlikable characters on ENTOURAGE or BIG BANG ...
jan 8 in idea barrages
I love saying the word “autumnal” almost as much as I love pretending that its mid-year equivalent is “sumerian”. If I could teach America one fact, it would be “Just because someone agrees w...
jan 7 in idea barrages
If you say “Shandyman” three times into a mirror, a ghost appears and ruins your beer by pouring cheap lemonade into it. The word “internet” is actually derived from the ancient Greek “intras...
prompt: might, title: you get used to it in misc. flash fiction
If you’ve ever seen someone who isn’t American try our chocolate for the first time, you might be surprised to find they say it tastes like puke and truth is that they’re right. The standard form...
jan 6 in idea barrages
Ask not what The Bartman can do for you, ask how you can better do The Bartman. 2020 has been an infinite regression of Rubicons. We keep thinking there are no more lines we could cross and y...
