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Page 177 of 219

1.) Good thing about Trump is he shows the right wing has nothing left but racism & conspiracy theories to hang on, all else is proven failure. 2.) Dear McDonalds, who in the name of Christ e...

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1.) “In Soviet Russia, mic drops YOU!” would be the most meta mic drop line ever. 2.) 83% of memes built around the premise “oh man, this person’s text/tweet/facebook post is hilariously ignorant...

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1.) Even if I was ever into hibbity-jibbity I can’t imagine casting the I-Ching, I’d feel too much like a Batman villain. 2.) Whenever I read a “Mens Rights Activist” online, I imagine him talkin...

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1.) When I REALLY like the first draft of a poem it scares me because then it’s 50/50 if it’s good or actually really really bad. 2.) Trying to remind myself I am pretty rad I do some pretty rad ...

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maybe our lives are just the universe’s dreams maddening mangled short and shuffled and ours are taken as a reflection of that perspective these lives that sometimes seem so very l...

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It’s not that I want to punch the PERFORMERS in the balls. It’s just that I want to punch the costumes where the character’s balls would be. I’m not a monster. I just wanna wail on Donald Duck...

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hipster Christmas sweaters, the trend is dead, it can’t get deader tell him, take no more, we practice intervention when he opens the door, eyes roll over while he sleeps, we’ll burn ...

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1.) Performing, even material with an element of self-effacement, makes me feel handsome and confident in a way I rarely do otherwise, I dunno. 2.) Just realized that every time a rapper refers t...

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bildungsroman Gotterdammerung ex machina is a God of sons Ragnarok and roll and revelation hajj crusade jihad pilgrimage addiction to external validation schadenfreude und s’il vou...

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1.) We wouldn’t have Taco Tuesday at the cafeteria for my super-villain underlings, though there would be henchiladas. 2.) From a certain point of view, America had kneecapped Tonya Harding from ...

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the demons disrepair and despair have taken up their dispensation their determined divisions of our divinity our maybe-souls but brother we’re still buffeted by our lion’s shares of poetry...

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cornfield maze all in my brain the way out is not the same things looking funny and I know why excuse me while I get real high cornfield maze green and brown only thing to do in this town ...

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1.) Deep Space Nine was named after Jerry Garcia’s hands. 2.) What’s orange, rocky and plays a sick guitar? B.B. THING 3.) Inside Schrodinger’s Box is either “I have a boyfriend” or “I don’t have...

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1.) Snyder, man, Snyder, man, ruins comics like no one can… 2.) The big twist at the end of Dick Tracy was that all he really wanted was to fill in The Blank. 3.) We’re not just unbelievers, we’r...

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1.) INT is knowing Frankenstein wasn’t the monster. WIS is knowing the doctor was the monster. CHA is avoiding this reference entirely. 2.) The Christmas season is a scary story pine trees tell t...

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1.) Get a tattoo of Nightcrawler, just above your butt. Call it your Bamfstamf. 2.) On the off-chance I ever get a cash-in wine brand, it will be called “Ugly Label Wine”. The label will be AMAZI...

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Every time I see a Christmas commercial for a luxury car, I ask myself if Western Civilization was actually worth it at all. Diamond ads, even if you weren’t a scam that murders, wouldn’t t...

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We teach each other lessons in what it is to be ourselves and be alive. Any meaning to life beyond that is largely moot. To allow the universe to better understand itself? To please some hair...

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1.) Even Genghis Khan knew, if you wanna build an empire, you gotta go one steppe at a time. 2.) The next step in horror meta is a movie about the cast/crew of a failed horror movie getting kille...

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1.) “Poppy,” Jeb whined to his father, “you should have named me Jed so I could piggyback on the Star Wars hype!” 2.) All these people want the world to break so some god can tell them who won an...

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1.) Talking about mental illness after mass shootings makes sense but if we’re not also talking about cultural illness, we’re fixing nothing. 2.) What do you like or dislike about you? These are ...

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frosty the snowman was on the run from death, this much was clear the subtext was his desperation to cram all the experiences of a life into, no pun intended, his one day in the sun trying to ...

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1.) Maybe tomorrow’s the start of a grand new adventure. No particular idea what that would be but here’s hoping. 2.) All he had left was his foolish pride but when he found out they were just pe...

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1.) The insistent frat boy wouldn’t take bro for an answer. 2.) I like how Smashmouth named their band after what their music makes your fist want to do. 3.) If you can’t stand the heat, get out ...

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first they’ll come for the Muslims but your ass won’t care you’re not Muslim you’ll even fool yourself into believing that this actually makes you safer somehow asshole then they’ll co...

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