littlefallsmets ⋅ 46 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,475
Page 142 of 219
in some ways “attempted murder” is even worse than “murder” because not only are you still in jail but you’re also a failure I bet that at the prison cafeterias you have to sit at th...
Literally any product could be marketed under the name “I Can Believe This Is Not Butter” Even butter, if it is of a low enough quality “Home Depot 2-by-4s: I Can Believe These Are Not Butter” ...
before social networking you used to lose touch with people from the past parts of your life unless you really really tried Christmas cards and reunions phone trees and newspaper clippi...
rage against the rage in poetry
Back before everything became so dire before there were actual Nazis in charge to fight it would’ve been fun to all dress up in robot costumes and pretend to protest outside of a Rage Again...
404 in idea barrages
1.) Cockrings are anti-climactic. 2.) They found The Beast bloated, lying on the floor, belching. “Where is Beauty?” they screamed. “Don’t you know Beauty is on the inside?” 3.) A classier name f...
43 in idea barrages
1.) The greatest Scandinavian baseball player was of course Whitey Fjord. 2.) The greatest Discordian baseball player was of course Whitey Fnord. 3.) The Dominos Army was unstoppable until the pi...
42 in idea barrages
1.) If you have to tell someone else who or what they are so that you can reinforce your own fragile worldview? That’s on you, not them. 2.) Few things put me more at war with the divided forces ...
a particularly good barrage in idea barrages
1.) I’m not “limited edition”, I’m weird. 2.) If you’re even in a fight with a kleptomaniac, yell “take that!” and it will confuse the hell out of them. 3.) I like to believe that just before Ear...
march capstone in idea barrages
1.) Your album of Dylan covers in the voice of Freddy Kreuger will be called “Exile On Elm Street”. 2.) If nothing else, this drives a stake into the heart of that myth that “businessmen would go...
to the tune of DON'T BRING ME DOWN in song parodies
you spent ten million on that suit that you got you know that crim’nals are a cowardly lot go punch a clown, na-na na-na na-na you dress like a bat, there’s just one use for that, g...
330 in idea barrages
1.) Don’t say “I can’t do this”. Say “I can’t do this yet”. With practice and time, very few things are truly impossible. 2.) Pulpy orange juice: for people who think liquid is supposed to have c...
329 in idea barrages
1.) Your rom-com that takes place at a medical marijuana dispensary will be called ROMANCING THE STONED. 2.) When cowboys want a more formal dinner, they call in the Charles Wagon instead. 3.) Ge...
328 in idea barrages
1.) Covering Hanson songs in the style of Charles Manson as “Manson” makes sense because “Mmmbopgimmiebopawoobop” is something he’d say. 2.) If your Pokemon themed porno doesn’t involve “Vulvasau...
327 in idea barrages
1.) Dear classical composers, name something “The Bowel Suite” so NPR announcers have to refer to a Bowel Movement. 2.) After atomic war, only papa twinkies and papa roaches will survive. 3.) He ...
326 in idea barrages
1.) Felix’s Law: The thinner the fabric of your shirt, the higher the chance that a kitty will want to knead your belly. 2.) Transformers could’ve been called Wereplanes and, really, it would’ve ...
325 in idea barrages
1.) I hope all you Never Hillarys enjoy the people of the Dakotas being poisoned by the Keystone Pipeline because that’s what you helped get. 2.) Stop worrying about hardworking brown people stea...
324 in idea barrages
1.) Prepper psychos have a premise “Grayman” about blending in to survive so of course they sell shirts that say “Grayman” in big letters. 2.) Remember: because guns are well controlled in Britai...
323 in idea barrages
1.) The one political vendetta I’d WANT Fake President to pursue is disappearing Billy Fuccillo for using that moronic “YUUUUGE!” schtick first. 2.) Things get slow in Canadian winter. “Here’s a ...
322 in idea barrages
1.) Nearly every conversation I’ve overheard in this airport was about medical troubles (dialysis, two different cancers) but sure, fake president, kill healthcare. 2.) It scares me that I’m no l...
The perfect is the enemy of the good. The perfect is the enemy of the good. The perfect is the enemy of the good. This is the closest thing I’ve ever come to a mantra because… because I sure ...
321 in idea barrages
1.) Before 10AM, any burrito is a breakfast burrito. 2.) Dan’s dog Rascal has exactly three modes: begging maniacally for food, barking psychotically at imaginary threats and lying sprawled out o...
political silence in poetry
“Let’s stop making everything political.” Baby, we weren’t the ones that did this. We were trying our best to live and let live. But the cruel bastards went ahead and did this. ...
no set of footprints at all in poetry
the number at which you cross the threshold from a collection of sand grains to suddenly a beach is vague but eventually it does transubstantiate one moment just some sand another moment w...
burning bright in poetry
the difference between a caged tiger’s pacing as he’s been waiting to pounce and to strike and an elephant’s pacing that’s listlessly swaying from confinement driving them mad ...
the democratic response in poetry
Look, I am a child of the internet age. Look, my browser has four tabs each a different page. Look, I can walk and chew gum at the same time. Look, I can easily multitask and even make ...
