littlefallsmets ⋅ 46 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,475
Page 137 of 219
de-escalation in poetry
I don’t believe in “The Chicago Way” I don’t believe in “he pulls a knife, you get a gun” “he sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue” it doesn’t work in th...
cursive was designed to overcomplicate language to make it so ornate and fiddly and detail-oriented time consuming where the only way to get it “right” would be to have the time, money and pri...
june 14 in idea barrages
1.) Now is the time when sports radio should be talking about baseball non-stop but will only talk about boring NFL mini-camps. Bleh. I don’t care if a back-up tight end who ain’t making a practi...
june 13 in idea barrages
1.) The knock-off version of an Oreo McFlurry is a Hail Hydrox. 2.) Really, the name “Tom Sizemore” was wasted on a non-porno actor. 3.) TRUE FACT: The only time Pizza Hut was relevant was when y...
junexii in idea barrages
1.) I guess Macaulay Culkin must’ve mistaken Trump as normal on the Home Alone 2 set because Michael Jackson was his baseline. 2.) THE CAKE IS AN ALTERNATIVE FACT 3.) “Who is more thin-skinned th...
the gates of heaven in poetry
if you end up famous when you die some hack cartoonist will draw the shallowest most facile representation of your life standing at the gates of heaven even if you died at eighty-nine if ...
junexi in idea barrages
1.) I like how the Universal Monsters Cinematic Universe was named “Dark Universe” by getting a Hot Topic manager high and letting him name it. 2.) When you invariably watch ‘Baby Driver’ on a ta...
letters to kid rock in poetry
Dear Kid Rock, the only thing worse in the world than being Ted Nugent is trying to be the Dollar Store version of Ted Nugent and failing even at that very minimal goal stop it go do someth...
june x in idea barrages
1.) He’s not usually into bestiality but everyone once in a while, sure, he gets a wild hare up his ass. 2.) Sure, you want all the FUN of living in a traveling tent but you don’t wanna do the yu...
june 9 in idea barrages
1.) Anthony Bourdain is so chef that despite looking and sounding like a Lou Reed cosplayer, his last name is still French as balls. 2.) “What’s that vulture eating?” Cain asked Adam and after a ...
Breathe, just breathe. Just focus on your breath. You’ve been breathing since you were born. You’ll be breathing until your death. It just keeps happening whether you want to or not. I...
the other side in poetry
Any love poem no matter how deep or how sad becomes instantly funny if you imagine it being delivered to a pillow he sleeps with in the shape of an anime babe. I’ve got nothing against ani...
monday night in poetry
Are all your rowdy friends here for Monday night? Good. Lock the doors. Only the final survivor of Monday Night Football will know freedom. Are they ready? Are they ready for some football? ...
june 8 in idea barrages
1.) All you need to write a love song is “swoon” “moon” & “June”. All you need to write a metal song is “swoon” “moon” & “wound”. 2.) Don’t go challenging me to a crossbow duel, I’ve got ...
june swoon in idea barrages
1.) Market your plaid tank-tops as “Sleeveless In Seattle”. 2.) On the really warm days, they’ll take the court outside for a summery judgement. 3.) Battling anxiety is a marathon not a sprint, e...
june 6 in idea barrages
1.) It’s like a Ouija board except it jumps a little higher. It’s a Luigi board. 2.) Do vegan hockey fans throw vegetables instead of squid? Would that make it a… Mirepoix on Ice? 3.) Krang broke...
june 5 in idea barrages
1.) The key is to always have a Stan Freberg song at the ready to sing when people request “Freebird”. Claim misunderstanding and go for it. 2.) Step 1: Name your band “Sex Saw”. Step 2: get book...
june 4 in idea barrages
1.) If you ever write a Daredevil story arc, here’s your title: LETHAL INJUNCTION 2.) Are all your rowdy friends here for Monday night? Good. Lock the doors. Only the final survivor of Monday Nig...
june 3 in idea barrages
1.) Your asthmatic vampire character will be called Vlad The Inhaler. 2.) Prithee but know thou my name as Paul and henceforth know your troubles as betwixt y’all. 3.) Never trust a man with the ...
the indigo shadow of your tolerance in poetry
your holy words of truth won’t fall from the tips of ancient desert priesthoods’ holy writ or from the lips of some prosperity gospel CEO who doesn’t give a shit your holy words of truth may ...
june1 in idea barrages
1.) Remember when memes were pop ephemera like “left shark” not the conman with the nuke codes being publicly incoherent? 2.) Here’s another parody too obscure to write or perform: “Son Of A Prea...
may capstone in idea barrages
1.) THERE GOES MY CAMEL/HE ONLY HAS ONE HUMP/THERE GOES MY CAMEL/A DROMEDARY 2.) Their argument about the original Japanese versions of video games escalated to a full-blown dorky-dorky panic. 3....
may 30 in idea barrages
1.) Calamari would be popular with millenials if you called it “Cthfoodlu”. 2.) If I were a Life Coach, I would take the concept literally and just keep reminding the person to breathe. 3.) Your ...
the pragmatic bleeding-heart response to Shelley in poetry
some would try to be Ozymandias themselves put up great empty statues festooned in dire warnings of their greatness others might in some naive rebellion devote their lives to tearing d...
may 28 in idea barrages
1.) We became a client state of a Russian dictatorship not by war but by their turning our own crony capitalism against us. Fitting & awful. 2.) No one believed the orc had actually stabbed h...
