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Page 103 of 218

the devil’s emissaries on our earth are the gun once there were too many of us running around here the devil had his hands full the devil couldn’t keep up with all our petty things so the de...

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love will not come down as a conquering warrior love will not come as some pretty twenty-four frame-per-second blur animated by the flicker love will come to you in rags as if a refugee love...

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she wears the nightsky’s dark and stars as were it a cloak about her shoulders valkyrie, flaxen, honeyed-yellow hair not nearly as awkward as she believes boundless enthusiasm balanced ou...

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1.) A parody of Bob Seger’s “Kathmandu” about crab rangoon, sure. 2.) “Tekashi 6ix9ine” sounds less like a rapper & more like an obscure anime, maybe about women who pilot giant robot battles...

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1.) Waiting for Neil Young to reinvent himself as a rapper called Young Neil. 2.) Interrobang is both a rarely used punctuation and the name for the water-boarding fetish. 3.) On a long enough t...

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1.) I want a reboot of “Home Improvement” where the Tim Taylor character is a gay fellow. I feel like it would not only be fun but it would anger all kinds of people whose voices shouldn’t matter...

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1.) Nailing Trump’s daughter with “but her e-mails” is fun and everything but the “but her e-mails” narrative was never really about the righties, it was about the far left buying that narrative ...

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1.) I mean, I guess I could write a parody of Guns N Roses “Mr. Brownstone” about Paula Poundstone. 2.) A cereal called Dommin’ Os, basically Cheerios but with little chocolate marshmallow gimp m...

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1.) By cooking your roux to various levels of doneness, you can achieve the fifty shades of gravy. 2.) I will invent the musical sub-genre of “Skazoo” which is basically sarcastic ska but all the...

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1.) Psychics staging bloodless simulacra of the future’s battles, historical pre-enactors. 2.) An Amazon warehouse with low pay, impossible hours and exploitative work conditions isn’t “job-creat...

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1.) Dreamt in fractals of meaning again, patterns of false binaries & every prismatic prison pattern broken thru gave way to another level of a different same. Going up thru freedom, down thr...

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Larry was born into a secret society with superpowers in their blood, hiding in plain sight among us. Very few of them had world-shaking abilities, though, his mother could accelerate someone’s h...

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1.) Morning talk radio was never very good but now it’s invariably just two jack-offs and one jill-off laughing at themselves as they summarize the “wacky” stories on social media three days prev...

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we’re not saying that we’re SURPRISED its snowing in Northern NY in November we’re just stating it’s terrible that it is which is completely and utterly true if you got kicked in the nuts ...

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I tell the lady “I’ll have the chicken on this terrible fast food salad GRILLED thankyouverymuch” always makes me feel like an Olympic sprinter “salad dressing? How about LITE VINAIGRETTE?” ...

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the thing about this time of year early november when the snows have come but haven’t stuck around for good thusfar is those few green things that haven’t wilted yet that aren’t hanging in a...

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1.) And then there is of course Slanderman who terrorizes the internet by intentionally confusing libel and slander, driving word sticklers up a goddamn wall. 2.) Am I singing a version of Anthra...

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the remainder, indivisible that which gets left behind because it didn’t know how to divide Solomon’s kids left out to writhe exposed to wolves and snow and rain as none would deign to forsake...

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her blazing copper shine oxidized rusted into a sea-green over time slowly succumbed to the very air liberty reacting to the world around it to the people who will always come along on...

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1.) Fire departments are another piece of evidence that mixed-model economics works, that necessary services like fire, roads, schools, police, utilities, military & medicine need to be publi...

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1.) I hate that risotto balls are called “Arancini” because “risotto balls” would be a great insult if only the phrase were more popular. 2.) Whenever possible, intentionally misspell “Bulgaria” ...

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1.) “I’m not saying I’m a genius or that I have all the answers,” said the wise but humble veteran proctologist, “but I can tell you that in my day I’ve seen some shit.” 2.) Remember: the most an...

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1.) Your nerdy BBQ sauce will be called Magic The Slathering. 2.) We’re not saying we’re SURPRISED its showing in Northern NY in November, we’re just starting that it is terrible that it is, whic...

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1.) Eventually The Thing’s marriage fell apart, eventually she started taking him for granite. 2.) He doesn’t like being called a “Brony” he prefers to say he’s “looking for a stable relationship...

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Just about any Denny’s, there’s generally a claw machine game somewhere near the front of the house. You know, you put in a quarter, these days as much as a dollar and get twenty seconds to posit...

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