Azzura

Silence is loud

Entries 140

Page 1 of 6

September 04, 2018

Mind fuck in The Beginning of the End

I wanna fuck you raw. Deep. No sleep. Not skin. But from within. I want to get under your skin. Veins. I want to feel your pain. I want to see you hurt I want to see you fall. I want to fe...


September 04, 2018

I tried. in The Beginning of the End

Observing. Cant do nothing but that. Drained. In pain. Wounded. I give up. I have no more words to say. I dont know what to do anymore. I fight and fight fight. Its futile. Its dark. The...


September 04, 2018

The Fire in The Beginning of the End

Im trying make light Its like im in a circle Everone surrounds me Shining brightly. And i cant get the light. My stick is wet. I only have one rock. I cry out. But no one helps. Instead th...


So feels like my life is on Hold when I am sick. Got a throat thing. It’s breaking today but I geared up and went to the walk in clinic today. Dr gave me anti biotics. It started breaking before...


So my sister reached out to me after 6 months of us not talking. I confessed to her that our father molested me. She didn’t believe me. Continued to question me and bring up other men who moles...


I cannot sleep. I am.so upset about what has happened in my city. I was out around 10 when I saw multiple police cars heading down to the danforth As well as a helicopter which I presume may be...


Sunday’s are the worst days. So boring this week anyways. Life will get better it’s just been pretty slow lately. Trying not to give in the desperation. I applied to a job. Fingers crossed. ...


Emma my old friend . I do miss you . But the times could not let me bring you with me. Emma my dear friend. I wish it didn’t have to end. But the second you didn’t believe what I’ve been throu...


Fuck your expectations I am doing just fine. Are you ever really around enough to know what’s right? The fact that I care so much about doing well. Makes me believe that I am doing my best. S...


I should care so much about what she thinks of me but I do. I compare myself to her too much. I wish I didn’t feel so scared all the time about everything. And guilty. I guess it’s because I ...


Fuck why does life have to be so fucking hard? I don’t have anyone I can really trust around me That can help me . I feel stupid because I feel like I have to so all the work in these relationsh...


Sometimes it feels like your the only mediocre guy left on earth. How we met waa cosmic. To me at least. I never let people in like that. You are dangerous. This I know. And i am dangerous  i...


Like Ariel you took my voice When i saw you I knew i could not sing The names piled on top of me I felt humilated and ashamed Never at the time Realizing that shame belongs to you But instead ...


What you did. Was nothing  special. But it was special You were special I cared about you. I guess i shouldnt  have It bled me dry. I knew it. But i couldn't  stop. I dont know why. But i k...


"I could kill  you  and make it look  like an accident" - Drew Peterson Also.my ex boyfriend who tried to kill me said the same thing. Just saw a promo just now on t.v for a story about the mur...


So fought  with Nas. Hes just a fuck boi really. My sister triggers the fuck out of me. I want to be close to her  at times but i just  cant. So negative  and accusatory  of everyone.  Judging....


So had a dream  about my rapist last night. Except in real life he is dead. He was shot dead a block away from where I live now. It was freaky because in the dream I KNEW he was supposed to be ...


So today going to try to let things flow. Scratch that not try. I get so anxious. Its all because i think i NEED to do certain things.  And i dont. I need to allow myself to flow and let things...


So hurt by nas. Hes the only real person  in my life and he fucks me than ignores me. Such an asshole. I always feel so used. I dont understand why he does that. I told him not to speak to me aga...


This is what you did to me. Growing  up and still I feel so guilty all the time  and like i am a burden. I always feel like i have to say the right  kind compassionate wise thing. Sometimes  i d...


We often…(I often…get caught up  in small details…the past the future  the bad  small things  in life) That we dont look at the bigger picture in life. Who we are. Isnt our mistakes. Just being...


So i got caught up in negative stiffling energy today. Im still trying to shake it off. Its been relentless. But im trying to do my best  to relax and calm down.  Its not easy. I have so much a...


Made all these big changes Which i am confident  about But still scared Because they were big decisions  And  theres nothing  really but me Thats left. The future seems so unknown  I dont k...


Just woke up from a bad dream. I dont want tl talk about it in detail  but it was  about my childhood.  I often have nightmares. Almost weekly really. Its really haunting  and fusterating as i ...


February 25, 2018

Denial in The Beginning of the End

Betraying myself By liking you Because i really dont So empty Craving a rush Even if the love is fake Its too painful Need to run away Need to fuck you over Pleading begging Wanting som...


Books 1


326 Entries
Public