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So fought with Nas. Hes just a fuck boi really.
My sister triggers the fuck out of me. I want to be close to her at times but i just cant. So negative and accusatory of everyone. Judging....
So had a dream about my rapist last night. Except in real life he is dead. He was shot dead a block away from where I live now.
It was freaky because in the dream I KNEW he was supposed to be ...
So today going to try to let things flow. Scratch that not try.
I get so anxious. Its all because i think i NEED to do certain things. And i dont. I need to allow myself to flow and let things...
So hurt by nas. Hes the only real person in my life and he fucks me than ignores me. Such an asshole. I always feel so used. I dont understand why he does that. I told him not to speak to me aga...
This is what you did to me.
Growing up and still I feel so guilty all the time and like i am a burden. I always feel like i have to say the right kind compassionate wise thing. Sometimes i d...
We often…(I often…get caught up in small details…the past the future the bad small things in life)
That we dont look at the bigger picture in life. Who we are. Isnt our mistakes. Just being...
So i got caught up in negative stiffling energy today. Im still trying to shake it off. Its been relentless. But im trying to do my best to relax and calm down. Its not easy.
I have so much a...
Made all these big changes
Which i am confident about
But still scared
Because they were big decisions
And theres nothing really but me
The future seems so unknown
I dont k...
Just woke up from a bad dream. I dont want tl talk about it in detail but it was about my childhood.
I often have nightmares. Almost weekly really. Its really haunting and fusterating as i ...
By liking you
Because i really dont
Craving a rush
Even if the love is fake
Its too painful
Need to run away
Need to fuck you over
I never feel like i can do anything right
I should have waited longer.
Im selfish and stupid and worthless.
I just dont have anyone else.
Im doing the best that i can
.if i had someone other th...
People around just disappoint
I cant connect
They wont connect to me
Hope this will pass
Till than this is where i am
I guess i just go on
I just go through the mome...
But there was nothing i can do
I was trapped
Going out of my mind
What to do.
I got very sick.
Because you terrorized me.
My world became smaller.
Before i knew ...
Broken arm bruising i had.
2septembers ago my ex broke my arm flipped out and put about an 8 inch chef knife to me and shoved me into a bathroom where he threatened to stab me if i didnt remo...
Even desperation is planning for me
And when the desperation plan doesnt work
Its a blessing in disguise
Even when it hurts
And its fusterating
Because life goes on
The day end
So here’s my cliche poem I just wrote after calling him and him being a jerk and giving me the cold shoulder. I needed to write it even though it’s not that good and pretty cliche.
So not much more bad can happen to me lately that I would be c9mpletely shocked about really.
People are fucked. Systems are fucked. Most people are really ugly inside and out. No shocker there...
Don't tell me my defense is assault
You get what you give sometimes
And that's what I try to be
Seem cold hard and it hurts eh?
Well guess what ?
That what you are
You like Dancing around th3 truth
I like dancing to the beat of my own drum
Here's the thing with me
I'm an emotional person
But I'm not a weak person with no self esteem
I know who i am and who I am not
I get devastated by loss
But I never ever stay th...
Can't continue to make excuses for you
Will not baby you
You know what your doing
So you run to your enablers
People weaker than me
More desperate than me
I can't take it anymo...
I have all these dreams
But feel so lost
In all the surviving and trauma
At 30 years old
Just always hoping praying
Just so caught up in coping
I try so hard to stay away from th...
So i dont want to be a victim of my life. But I really feel like one. Nothing seems to be really going right.
Sure im greatful and of course things could be worse. But something really deep is ...
It needs to stop. My mind. My life. People's words. Their actions or lack there of. I cant take it anymore. I fucking hate it all. I feel alone. Stuck. Lost. Confused. Scared. Angry.frustrated.an...
So today is close to Christmas. It’s a Saturday. I am bored just doing things here and there.
Watched a super cute movie called Little Boy last night was such a tear jerker. It’s rare to find a ...