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im overwhelmed with the state of my apt right now.
i am outside i went to pick up some weed.
talked to my mom. i read N email from my sister i cried. i am sad i dont hVe the relationship i wi...
so i am getting a bit of a 2nd wind or something. i should try to go to sleep soon though.
I love both my cats so much. People not so much. they can fuck right off basically.
blah. I am strug...
Well I;m not a product
I will not further your productivity
It's all just negativity
I am a human fucking being
Why does everything have to be about selling
Why the fuck do I have a best by...
Surprised i am not having any nightmares about the shooting or dreams about smoking because i quit.
I dont know about you but October is a crazy month for me. And on the news it seems like craz...
7 days and a shooting.
So its a week smoke free and i was beside a guy who got shot last night.
Last night i went out and as me and a friend were waiting for the streetcar home a guy started ...
So Day 3 of no smoking. Apparently this is supposed to be the worst day and it was the easiest. I had alot more energy and a better more positive attitude about everything.
I waa in the elevato...
2 doink guys
So i told both of the sort of guys in my life how sick I am and all that shit. One fucking left me on read.
The other one i have no fucking clue as I deleted the convo as to not ...
Day 2 of quitting smoking and what do you know? Im on my period as well....
Cramps like crazy.
My medicine regiment as well is pretty hardcore for me for my cold and possible underlying lung d...
I dont completely want to quit smoking but I HAVE to me being rushed to the hospital a few nights ago not able to breathe on oxygen nebulizers for 7 hours waa torture and scary, and it could have...
So I just got back from the hospital I was there since 6 am.
I have a cold but it just kept getting worse. I woke up from a fitful sleep vommiting and could breathe. Was really scary and confusi...
Make time for you
How do I even know if im alive
Am i better off alone
I dont know
Do i have a person
Or am i my person?
I dont know
So this guy i knew i recently googled him out of the blue. And i found out from a major editorial outlet online as of last year he was charged with 2 counts of sexual assault. An article follow...
Tommorow is the anniversary of the day my ex finally tried to kill me once and for all.
I think its been three years now. The last few years have been hard. The last year was when the peace bond ...
September 29th 2017 I was almost killed by my ex of 2 years. I met him in college years before. He physically assaulted me and I left immediately.
I graudated almost failed from his harassing and...
I had a dream last night about meeting another person in my building who had a bad experience too with my ex friend neighbour. It was a cathartic dream in some ways. She told me about another pla...
When I first moved I became friends with a woman who I now suspect is a narcassist.
It became very whirlwind with her very fast. Several times she would start fights with me to the point where I...
So I am 32 years old and I feel like such a child
My father was molesting me as well as my bro sis and Mom growing up. As well as physical mental and emotional abuse.
As a result I have ...
You are so
One trick pony
I knew the whole time you were a phoney
Scratched record on repeat.
Ill be fine
I dont kn...
So it's kind of good I drank yesterday so I didn't drink today. Since I will be cleaning up Tommorow
I hope to.get down to business and catch up on all of that shit that accumulated this mo...
I want validation from people.
But the right kind.
From the right people.
But sometimes I see myself buying into all the wrong kind.
It buoys me up.
It sustains me.
Sometimes it’s the only k...
I feel so raw right now. I hurt. I feel exposed. I feel vulnerable. Dont touch me. I’ll flinch away.
I am feeling everything. I cant stop. I cant distract. I cant look away. I cant forget. All I...
You dont have a soul I don’t think
If you did you buried it a long time ago
No sentiment to you
Just pure instinct
Trying to get on top
Trying to stay...
Still the same
But your acting too sane
Calling me mamm
Like I’m not going to complain
Fuck you bitch
With your brain
Not your heart
Your soul ...
You pushed pushed and pushed
Like itd never end
Like id always be there
Like i would still care
Poked me with a hot prod
Until i became cold
I got the fuck up
I was a...
Its never really mine.
I am always hustling.
Desperate for so little.
Whats the fucking point?
They say wait.
For fucking what?
Seems like Ive been waiting all my life.
And all ive been...