Azzura
Silence is loud
Entries 197
Page 4 of 8
Tired Was depressed all day But had some food a bath and chilled out and feel better. I am watching a TV show called Shrill. It’s pretty good. Getting more tired. 11 days till end of month.
Fuck you dreams in Elm
So today going to try to let things flow. Scratch that not try. I get so anxious. Its all because i think i NEED to do certain things. And i dont. I need to allow myself to flow and let things...
So hurt by nas. Hes the only real person in my life and he fucks me than ignores me. Such an asshole. I always feel so used. I dont understand why he does that. I told him not to speak to me aga...
This is what you did to me. Growing up and still I feel so guilty all the time and like i am a burden. I always feel like i have to say the right kind compassionate wise thing. Sometimes i d...
The Big Picture in Riverdale
We often…(I often…get caught up in small details…the past the future the bad small things in life) That we dont look at the bigger picture in life. Who we are. Isnt our mistakes. Just being...
Negative energy in Riverdale
So i got caught up in negative stiffling energy today. Im still trying to shake it off. Its been relentless. But im trying to do my best to relax and calm down. Its not easy. I have so much a...
Unstoppable in Riverdale
Made all these big changes Which i am confident about But still scared Because they were big decisions And theres nothing really but me Thats left. The future seems so unknown I dont k...
My past is comming back to haunt me..... in Riverdale
Just woke up from a bad dream. I dont want tl talk about it in detail but it was about my childhood. I often have nightmares. Almost weekly really. Its really haunting and fusterating as i ...
Betraying myself By liking you Because i really dont So empty Craving a rush Even if the love is fake Its too painful Need to run away Need to fuck you over Pleading begging Wanting som...
Narcassistic abuse in Riverdale
I never feel like i can do anything right I should have waited longer. Im selfish and stupid and worthless. I just dont have anyone else. Im doing the best that i can .if i had someone other th...
Feel empty People around just disappoint I cant connect They wont connect to me Let down Hope this will pass Till than this is where i am I guess i just go on I just go through the mome...
I knew But there was nothing i can do I was trapped Scared Going out of my mind Didnt know. What to do. I got very sick. Because you terrorized me. My world became smaller. Before i knew ...
I survived in Riverdale
Broken arm bruising i had. 2septembers ago my ex broke my arm flipped out and put about an 8 inch chef knife to me and shoved me into a bathroom where he threatened to stab me if i didnt remo...
Desperation in Riverdale
Even desperation is planning for me And when the desperation plan doesnt work Its a blessing in disguise Even when it hurts And its fusterating Because life goes on The day end And tommoro...
Heres my cliche poem in Elm
So here’s my cliche poem I just wrote after calling him and him being a jerk and giving me the cold shoulder. I needed to write it even though it’s not that good and pretty cliche. Need you I d...
So not much more bad can happen to me lately that I would be c9mpletely shocked about really. People are fucked. Systems are fucked. Most people are really ugly inside and out. No shocker there...
You like Dancing around th3 truth I like dancing to the beat of my own drum
Here's the thing with me I'm an emotional person But I'm not a weak person with no self esteem Or identity I know who i am and who I am not I get devastated by loss But I never ever stay th...
No patience in Elm
Can't continue to make excuses for you Will not baby you You know what your doing So you run to your enablers People weaker than me More desperate than me More blind. I can't take it anymo...
30 years old in Elm
I have all these dreams And goals But feel so lost In all the surviving and trauma At 30 years old Just always hoping praying Just so caught up in coping I try so hard to stay away from th...
I didnt know. in Elm
So i dont want to be a victim of my life. But I really feel like one. Nothing seems to be really going right. Sure im greatful and of course things could be worse. But something really deep is ...
It needs to stop. My mind. My life. People's words. Their actions or lack there of. I cant take it anymore. I fucking hate it all. I feel alone. Stuck. Lost. Confused. Scared. Angry.frustrated.an...
So today is close to Christmas. It’s a Saturday. I am bored just doing things here and there. Watched a super cute movie called Little Boy last night was such a tear jerker. It’s rare to find a ...
compassionste witness in Riverdale
So in my life I have been lucky lately that I have many compassionate Witnesses that C my struggle I feel as though without them I wouldn’t be able to see invalidate the challenges that I go thro...
So luckily my periods not as bad as I thought it would be. The weather’s pretty nice so I’m in an OK spot I’m realizing how dependent I was in alcohol right now I don’t really want to drink becau...
