Sage in Aftermath

Working on self-love is so hard.
I’m often on autopilot just going to the motions even though my anxiety is going so high I force myself to do things that sometimes I’m just not ready for or need even just 10 to 15 minutes to prepare myself to go out to do what I need to.

Whenever is any time crunch or Rush it’s almost like I’m running on a motor and my motor won’t stop and I’m not allowed to stop like the Energizer Bunny.

It takes really concentrated energy to treat myself almost like a fragile child with my anxiety and be kind to myself the way I wasn’t talked to as a child.

So I found out that by accident I I don’t know how it happened but wish I have $50 worth of wish stuff I ordered I don’t recall ordering it and one of the things that I ordered was a duplicate so I’m so f* cuz I have like 14 dollars in my account right now and then I have like $19 in my PayPal.

Something like that but I don’t really need too much honestly like I’m pretty good I have a hard time with money I live within my with it like outside of my means all the time because I’m unhappy and depressed and a lot of things have to do with convenience I got a lot of take out because when I don’t have a lot of food in my fridge cuz there’s not affordable grocery store around here and two I just don’t have the energy to really think of what to make and make it but last night I had grilled cheese I got one of those panini press things little small one from Amazon and it makes it easier to make them.
so I had that and then I had I had some ice cream left to know so happy about that because I’m a bit of lactose intoler and I really shouldn’t have had grilled cheese but the non-dairy ice cream was good I’m going to try to eat more non-dairy because it’s just as good as with the dairy the ice cream apparently as me being indigenous you know as well we don’t do very well with dairy  so it makes a lot of sense.

I’m going to go pick up some Sage today I think I’m going to take a walk hopefully I’m not going to have too bad anxiety

It’s kind of a shady area I have to walk to but I should be okay hopefully the weather is going to rainy I feel like that helps I feel safe in the rain.

Running out of cat food maybe they have cat food too we’ll see.