Trouble Every Day ⋅ 43
I'm a high school dropout & recovering stoner who lives in a modest rental apartment in downtown Calgary with two mostly indifferent cats & a seemingly random assortment of records, comic books, novels, DVDs & video games. I have recently begun a journey of self discovery & healing; I've started taking antidepressants and I intend to cut down on marijuana after decades of self loathing and self sabotage. I'll also be counting calories, exercising and writing about my daily thoughts & struggles.
An oasis of horror in a desert of boredom.
Entries 14
Page 1 of 1
Ordinary Corrupt Human Love in Struggles with Addiction & Depression
Life comes screaming through the room whether you invite her in or not. I stand on the precipice of the first great risk of my entire life and I am terrified and exhilarated. In just more than a ...
I’m having the greatest week of my life. On Friday I took a bump on my longboard that I’ve rolled over countless times before but something about my speed or my foot placement or just the way a b...
Sabotage Expert For Hire in Struggles with Addiction & Depression
I keep writing about how I’m forgetting to be sad but maybe what I really mean is that I still don’t understand how to be happy. I look at everything from my slanted mindset and the true shape of...
I Keep Forgetting to be Sad in Struggles with Addiction & Depression
Consequentially I keep forgetting to write. I’m still taking Lexapro and I haven’t missed a day yet. Booked my follow up to refill my prescription, even. The weather is finally warm and I am able...
The List in Struggles with Addiction & Depression
The loss of consensus reality. Is love possible? Is it real? The dissolution of the social contract. DIY Punk, Electronic & extreme music. Outsider Art. Science Fiction/Fantasy. Superna...
Slipping a Little in Struggles with Addiction & Depression
I’ve fallen behind in my writing and schoolwork a little bit but I have to give myself a little leeway; so long as I get properly back on course I can’t say I have been wasting time. When I’m not...
I'm Nearly 40 and Still a Child in Struggles with Addiction & Depression
No journal updates lately personal or private but I have refocused on my schoolwork. My first piece of writing since I stopped really going at it full speed was a little clunky, awkward and very ...
irredeemable in Struggles with Addiction & Depression
Some people are just too far gone for saving. I’ve known that was the case for my younger brother since my teenage years when he proved himself to be a relentless sociopath who delighted in the s...
Okay. in Struggles with Addiction & Depression
I can’t lose sight of my objectives. Happiness is a dangerous distraction. Contentment is the destroyer of creativity. It’s so easy for me to lose myself in spending time with another person. Eve...
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ in Struggles with Addiction & Depression
My ex reached out to me. It was completely unexpected considering the way things ended. I had done a fairly excellent job of convincing myself I was never going to see her again and I had to move...
Day 5 10mg Lexapro in Struggles with Addiction & Depression
I’m still taking my medication. I still feel good. I didn’t write much yesterday (or at all) but my writing computer had to have its OS reinstalled and I’m lucky I didn’t lose anything important....
Positives & Negatives in Struggles with Addiction & Depression
Unquestionably experiencing some side effects tonight for the first time after I started on the antidepressants. I knew there would be some changes in my overall experience of things and I’ve wel...
Again I woke up today ready to face the world and had to will my body to stay in bed with my cats beside me. I know that my long mornings in bed will be a thing of the past very soon; I feel a dr...
Today is the second day of this new adventure I’ve finally pushed myself into with the goal of becoming a better, well rounded and happier person. It’s also my Mother’s 63rd birthday. Last night ...