Trouble Every Day ⋅ 37

I'm a high school dropout & recovering stoner who lives in a modest rental apartment in downtown Calgary with two mostly indifferent cats & a seemingly random assortment of records, comic books, novels, DVDs & video games. I have recently begun a journey of self discovery & healing; I've started taking antidepressants and I intend to cut down on marijuana after decades of self loathing and self sabotage. I'll also be counting calories, exercising and writing about my daily thoughts & struggles.

An oasis of horror in a desert of boredom.

Baudelaire

Entries 12

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I keep writing about how I’m forgetting to be sad but maybe what I really mean is that I still don’t understand how to be happy. I look at everything from my slanted mindset and the true shape of...


Consequentially I keep forgetting to write. I’m still taking Lexapro and I haven’t missed a day yet. Booked my follow up to refill my prescription, even. The weather is finally warm and I am able...


The loss of consensus reality. Is love possible? Is it real? The dissolution of the social contract. DIY Punk, Electronic & extreme music. Outsider Art. Science Fiction/Fantasy. Superna...


I’ve fallen behind in my writing and schoolwork a little bit but I have to give myself a little leeway; so long as I get properly back on course I can’t say I have been wasting time. When I’m not...


No journal updates lately personal or private but I have refocused on my schoolwork. My first piece of writing since I stopped really going at it full speed was a little clunky, awkward and very ...


Some people are just too far gone for saving. I’ve known that was the case for my younger brother since my teenage years when he proved himself to be a relentless sociopath who delighted in the s...


I can’t lose sight of my objectives. Happiness is a dangerous distraction. Contentment is the destroyer of creativity. It’s so easy for me to lose myself in spending time with another person. Eve...


My ex reached out to me. It was completely unexpected considering the way things ended. I had done a fairly excellent job of convincing myself I was never going to see her again and I had to move...


I’m still taking my medication. I still feel good. I didn’t write much yesterday (or at all) but my writing computer had to have its OS reinstalled and I’m lucky I didn’t lose anything important....


Unquestionably experiencing some side effects tonight for the first time after I started on the antidepressants. I knew there would be some changes in my overall experience of things and I’ve wel...


Again I woke up today ready to face the world and had to will my body to stay in bed with my cats beside me. I know that my long mornings in bed will be a thing of the past very soon; I feel a dr...


Today is the second day of this new adventure I’ve finally pushed myself into with the goal of becoming a better, well rounded and happier person. It’s also my Mother’s 63rd birthday. Last night ...


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