Entries 534

Page 13 of 22

I don’t get this type of behavior. I really don’t. It’s just that, if you bully someone into doing what you want, you know in your bones always and forever that nothing between you is real. It’s...

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When you’re having fun. I can’t believe I’ve already entered the third trimester. This pregnancy is moving by so quickly, it seems. It’s odd that I barely notice that I’m pregnant, but I think ab...

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Of things I’d like to write and so little time to do it. I’ve been mulling over a philosophical analysis of Steiner’s educational lectures. I think I will do that. Anthroposophy is a mystical wo...

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Means, in essence, the right to ostracize. It really boggles my mind that by far the most common complaint I have read from parents is the direct result of forced association for their children. ...

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Well I spent yesterday morning shivering (even though it’s 80F here) and barfing. The rest of the day sipping liquids and laying down to keep the stomach cramps at bay. Today I’m feeling better b...

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There are two kinds of certainty. There are the coffee shop philosophers who have the answer to everything and it’s just that simple, period. They’re the period people. They are certain about sp...

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Abuse, that is. It is we, the victim, who personalizes abuse. It’s just easier that way. It’s easier when we convince ourselves that we have some kind of influence over what is happening. It’s a...

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So much happening. Crypto markets are bleeding out so there isn’t much to do atm except try to ignore it and wait. No point messing around with a portfolio ~60% down lol DH got another raise the ...

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make life a whole lot better. It’s not just that I enjoy the time and connection that we have together, but that I feel equally valuable and valued by another person who has zero obligations or n...

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boring predictability. Does anyone else find the predictable insufferably boring? I suppose in a melancholic way, it can be reassuring. Mostly for fear of change and moral clarity. I am currentl...

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I made lasagna and it smells so freaking good. 2 for 3? Crypto market is down, but not for 2 of 3 of the new assets I decided to dabble in. The 2 are up slightly. win? Things have been… interest...

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the Fucking Liar. I should have known all along. She’s always been a bitch. The only reason she ever asked me what I liked or wanted, was to punish me with it. After I had my son, about 4 month...

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I’m a competitive person. I like being good. Not just good. I love and relish the pride, the confidence, the self-esteem of doing something difficult, well. So when I receive criticism, I love i...

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or something, since W is now coughing and acting fatigued, as I felt for the last 2 weeks. Thought it was just my preggo hormones/energy getting me down. I felt like a human yesterday for the fir...

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I wrote a letter to FIL, and I don’t think I’ll share it, here. But here are my contemplative ruminations on it. After his wife, my DH’s mother, and my MIL, died last November, I have thought wi...

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I have just about zero energy. The first couple weeks- few weeks, even- I was working out and walking and playing all day with my ham. Now I’m lucky if I make dinner. Waking up SUCKS so hard. I w...

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Drama. I received an apology today from someone who acted aggressively, angrily and with hurtful intent toward me a little over a year ago. I must say the relief is just palpable, for me. And, I...

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Nothin’. Annoying. I want to poke it with a stick. Do something. I bought myself a pregnancy journal and am keeping my logs in there. I like the idea of having something physical, and also person...

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TTC has come to a happy end. I’m excited, naturally. I feel giddy most of the time like bubbles rising in my stomach… Or is that nausea? 😅 Seriously though I am just ecstatic. I’m literally sit...

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and the first time we’re doing Crypto on the tax forms. Also the first time we have enough assets to even shake a stick at. It reminds me that most people pay professionals to do this. lol. I’m ...

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Never come to me in the right moments. Why do you fail me, brain?! BM asked me right as we came in the door for birthday dinner: “Are you a pisces?! Or no? Then Aries right?” It occurred to me as...

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I guess my subconscious was right. I fought for it, I trusted it, I asked for it, and it delivers. Who needs God? I feel so good- ok n top of the world. Other than our son is sick rn, nothing c...

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leave me unsatisfied. DH and I talked about our experience of his family at the 30-or-so people gathering yesterday. It went something like this. Me: “I noticed that I have a lot of anxiety aro...

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sister are like 2 peas in a pod. My dad is fervently right and my aunt is vehemently left. I don’t know why it took me so long to piece it together. They’re both very reactive, uncritical to the...

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And, I’m not sure what I want to say. I feel an expectation to be useful to other people, here. I don’t particularly mind that expectation, but I also want to acknowledge it and identify that I d...

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