Miss Chiffs Manager (One) ⋅ 38 ⋅
Mom! / Biodynamic Urban Farmer / Naturopathic Doctor / Anthroposophist / Mystic / Avid Reader / Writer Extraordinaire / In Pursuit of Moral, Physical, and Intellectual Excellence.
The ending is written into the beginning
Entries 775
Page 1 of 31
Escalation in Journal
I don’t know what to make of it. My mind seems clearer, calmer, and the world totally serene. More than ever I see things that aren’t there, physically. I’m surprised by their consistency. The...
Being Guided in What Wants to Move Through Me Today?
I could just cry. Really. I feel so damn emotional. The beauty and relief I feel is so intense. It’s a realization that all this stuff that I thought was mine to work out-that I mistook for wo...
Do you ever get in What Wants to Move Through Me Today?
That feeling in the moment of an interaction that is like , “this is a real-time lesson for you. Pay attention.” ? Well, I had that the other day. Friday, speaking to a friend, she said somethi...
I described my kid this morning as dreamy. I woke up and started dreaming about everything- the sky, the weather, the flight of birds, bugs and plants and the river and just everything. In wist...
A Remarkable Day in Journal
When I work up it was storming. We sat on the porch and watched it rain and the wind blew in. It was a dark, cloudy, the sky opaque. I began the day in rage. It was anger like I haven’t felt in...
Very Unusual in Dreams
Context to this dream. It seemed to weave past, present, future, and some unknown aspect or fantasy. Typically my dreams are more focused in their context. I was traveling. I’m not sure where,...
Perennial Polyculture in Essays
Over the years of managing a small farm, and now a small plot in town along with a developing piece of raw land, I have noticed that once enough diversity of organisms has been established, new ...
I Broke my Mother's Heart in A Childhood Lost
And not in the way that one might think. When I became pregnant with my first, I knew things had to change. Up until that point, I had been fine-totally content-with the parental relationship m...
I’ve always been kind of weird Now I can sense it, cognize it, know it on a level that is not mind, but a full-body recognition. It is about being empty. It does become somewhat lonely when I...
have I come? When I look back, it is a world away. Today, I caught myself in them midst of the process of some kind of scheme. Once I realized that my mind was going through this motion-the ...
Trees in Meditations
As I pushed my little girl on the swing in the morning I saw the light of the trees. The big spruce from which the swing is suspended, glowed in a most interesting way. I saw both the smaller ha...
Balance in Meditations
I’m stunned I feel sheepish For being part of the folly and I feel elated For seeing it Those on both sides-the doers and the condemners- they are in a never ending dance. Back and forth...
Clear Sky Joy in What Wants to Move Through Me Today?
The simplest things being me the most profound joy. It may not look simply from the stuff set out, but the intent is simple and pure. Clean the sky. Return it to nature. Nourish life. The ...
Colors in Meditations
I don’t often get to do mirror gazing But I love it. Yesterday I was digging out the basement and having a merry time. Lately, I have felt this inexplicable joy and deep satisfaction doing sim...
Seeing the Pride in the Park people set up their stuff, unexpectedly, because I hadn’t realized it was already the end of May. Where has the time gone? Anyway, I am finding that stalking the...
Egregores and Forgiveness in Essays
It has occurred to me that using fem com (feminine communication; sharing feelings, needs, permissives and problems vulnerably) allows for the other person to reflect in a way that does not requ...
I Reject in What Wants to Move Through Me Today?
Victimization In myself and in others. I want to never feel like the victim of anyone, or anything. And I’m not taking the blame, either. If I’m experiencing a dissatisfactory circumstance...
Elementals as Inner and Outer Perception in Essays
Spiritual science of Perception and the dogma of Materialism. It was only when I began to see materialism as a dogmatic religion that I began to realize that the natural state of the human bei...
Two Days Ago in Meditations
we went back to the same part of the river. Part of me wanted to verify that the river there actually was, or felt, the same as it had the day before. Part of me had no doubt whatsoever; was mor...
After Yesterday in Meditations
I feel like I’m tripping. This little walk we did down the river path has me just… Reeling. The openness to my own sensitivity is astonishing. This is the river we walked next to As I was ...
Feelings are Perceptions in Journal
With Mercury (mind) conjunct the sun (Sun = son/ Son of GOD/ CHRIST), I cannot help but feel elated. My mind with the Christ so close, is how I EXPERIENCE the world; including thoughts, but also...
I Choose Guilt in What Wants to Move Through Me Today?
I feel guilt for the simple reason that being in contact with my mom is not good for me, but that she doesn’t necessarily have the ability to be good for me; and she expresses her pain and remor...
And I’ve made the most amazing breakthroughs Without blame, Shane, or judgements. Just complete openness, honesty, and acceptance. I heard today from a coach that most people avoid feeling th...
The Elementals in Meditations
I noticed a dense population of these tiny dancing lights at the Elementals Gathering in Missouri. Now, I am seeing them in density here, too. They’re over our house. In the woods. over the rive...
An Old Friend in Dreams
This was quite an interesting dream I was me, and my dream spanned over my entire life. It was really almost as if this was a memory which I’d forgotten, and then at the end, retribution for m...
