Panic Setting In in These Foolish Things

  • March 16, 2021, 5:06 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

I’m at the office and feeling the stress of everything on Monday morning. Well, first of all, I overslept because of the time change. I NEVER let myself do that so I was already on a race against time this morning.

Got to the office to a million things I’m trying to get done before I leave at noon to start the next phases of my cancer journey.

But before all that, there are samples to send in to the licensing guys for review/approval, my big presentation was delayed because Boss wants me to add a bunch of figures to it AND I’m trying to get the car dealership all set up with all of the paperwork before I come in to pick up my car at lunchtime tomorrow.

On top of that, before oncology, I have to go to one hospital to get a covid test this afternoon for my surgery on Wednesday (placing mediport) and I’m freaking that they may want to place it next to my left carotid (the one that blew), but I’m just not sure…why am I worrying about that NOW?

And after the covid test and possibly more pre-op stuff (probably EKG and hopefully no blood) then I will meet [Athena] who is kindly going with my to my first oncology appointment.

I’ve worked it out to have Martini stay with her boyfriend (the min-pin named Brady) tonight so that I don’t have to worry about getting her here and there and walking her after my appointment. And I’ve asked [Athena] to stay with me a little while after to help me process and she said she can do that. As always, so grateful for this angel of a human. You don’t even know.

I am expecting a positive and strong (and even cocky) doctor. That’s how I like em! I need for him to be in rockstar form, and in return, I will do the same. He has the BEST Irish name I’ve ever heard, so that has to be a good sign, right? I mean, come on. St. Patrick’s Day week!

I can’t say that I haven’t taken a valium this morning, but it’s because I didn’t want to start drinking wine first thing. I know I must wean myself off the wine. The valium is a good alternative, though I need to be careful with this stuff. I’m pretty good about keeping it to emergencies like when I got to the hospital for my colon resection and they told me my insurance hadn’t approved it. That was a perfect time to swallow the V.

Today is also a good day to turn down the anxiety level. It’s times like these when I am grateful for modern medicine.

I’m of the belief that a good combo of meds and mental state is going to take me far.

OK. Gotta roll. Much to do on this not-so-typical Monday.

Love to ya,

colder March 16, 2021 (edited March 16, 2021)


Your courage and your positive outlook are your best friends. You can do this!

At Last March 16, 2021

So glad you will have Athena. Thinking of you.

Deleted user March 16, 2021

Thinking about you!

Complicated Disaster March 16, 2021

Stay strong lovely! You got this! xx

.allison. March 16, 2021

welcome to america, where you need to fit your chemo in between business meetings. i wish you could take this time and REST.

Ginger Snap .allison. ⋅ March 16, 2021

I know. I could likely take a leave of absence, but even though I bitch and stress about work, it keeps my mind active and my energy going. So really, it's more me right now. I'll figure this out as I go through the process.

Jinn March 16, 2021

Thinking of you ! Hugs !!

bobbi01 March 16, 2021

Hope this day is over for you and it went well. Valium is the best for taking things down a notch.

plushcreep March 16, 2021

Under the circumstances, there is no justification needed at all for valium!

pandora March 17, 2021

I too believe that the mental state is as important as the medical stuff - and honestly, you are so positive and open, I think you'll be okay keeping yourself planted in reality with a little extra dose of optimism!

WhatDreamsMayCome March 17, 2021

Sending good mojo your way.

Marg March 20, 2021

I hope it all went really smoothly - very glad you had Athena there with you for that first appointment!

Jinn March 27, 2021


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