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I usually have more control over my anxiety but it has been a bit of struggle the last few days. My boss is transferring my assistant and my supervisor to his new store and I am pretty much left ...

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Christmas is about being with family and I am waiting for my roommates to leave so that I can be the fuck alone lol. It’s actually going to be a perfect day! Merry Christmas people! xoxo

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I suppose that I like to shrink my surroundings when I’m feeling stress. It sunk in last night how small my life has become. I am not living. I do not even know how I would become larger than lif...

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Sometimes I forget that I am present in this world. I need to ground myself and be outside again. I took this shot the other day when I went for a walk. My city was swallowed up in a fog.

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My mini-meltdown in my previous entry was a bad idea. I cannot give that kind of energy any breathing room. I just need to sleep better. I can’t cope with anything when I am tired. I whine about ...

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Do you ever start your day off on a bad note and then spend the rest of the day just looking for reasons to be upset? Choices. I’ve been in my head way too much this week. Mostly about work. I su...

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This living arrangement with my sister and her husband is a beautiful thing for them. They both get to work full-time. My sister has somebody else who cooks, cleans and does chores. Somebody who ...

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I had an anxiety attack last night. I suppose I have a lot of feelings that I will need to process sooner or later. That is what anxiety is right? Unprocessed feelings? I am patiently waiting for...

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I have accepted that hair loss has come for me. I am eventually going to get around to finding myself a doctor again. Baldness does not run in my family so I am hoping that I have something as si...

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Yesterday I had so much energy that I thought I was manic. I worked out for 3 hours and it did not die. I went for a half hour run before the snowfall and my energy did not die. I then took the d...

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Today was so wasteful. I accomplished nothing today. I was too tired to even care to try. I just let everything go and I don’t feel as bad about it as I thought I would have. Especially since I m...

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I have been feeling more like myself again and it came from the dumbest reason. A month ago I bought a long top coat that I saw in a window. I had to fight with some prissy twink to take it off t...

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I have a history of sleep paralysis and the worst part of every experience is when I become aware that I am dreaming. I am conscious inside a nightmare and the attacks become real experiences for...

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“His personal life is one thing but if he was having his affair at one of my stores then I have zero tolerance for that. I asked around and these claims seem pretty credible but I do not have con...

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I return to work today. The headspace was nice. I got to think for myself for a whole week. I updated my resume yesterday morning. I redid the entire thing and i feel so confident about it. I’m g...

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On Wednesday Leanne and I went to a musical together. Chicago. It was very well done. It was also my city’s first snowfall. It was a beautiful evening. I was so smitten by one of the guys on stag...

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I felt so damn good after I wrote my last entry. I felt like I took a huge load off my feet and I had a good day today. I should write more often. I was talking to a kid at work today, a twenty ...

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There were a lot of boxes that I hadn’t unpacked since I moved into my sisters. I was close to bankruptcy when I had my nervous breakdown. I was about ready to do a consumer proposal when my sist...

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It is embarrassing when I have a moment and just whine like a spoiled brat. I just feel so much better for bit. I at least go numb to what hurts me. . Want to know something weird? I got a haircu...

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I saw a specialist for my acne scarring and she gave me the truth like nobody has ever given it to me before. “I want you to have realistic expectations and understand that a scar is a scar and i...

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Allow me to sound crazy for a moment. . The first time was when one of my childhood friends passed away in high school. It was the start of senior year and I was the last person that she spoke t...

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*I feel like I have failed at everything I wanted to do this year. * I shut that thought down as soon as it comes up but it’s been eating away at me. I’ve been purging my social media. Deleted al...

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I am balancing quite a bit lately and I have been so irrevocably exhausted and that has been afffecting my ability to cope with stress. Between getting up with my niece during the week and then g...

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These three things are not long hidden. The sun and the moon and the truth. In November a few colleagues of mine from various store locations had a dilemma that they brought to my attention becau...

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I haven’t updated in a while. I felt like all I do is whine about myself and I have been trying to be more proactive. Life is happen for us and not to us. I linked up with the guy I have always ...

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