littlefallsmets ⋅ 46 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,442
Page 87 of 218
sept 4 in idea barrages
On a long enough scale of time and weight fluctuation, Meatloaf and Quentin Tarantino will eventually become twins. Your video game about Juuling that will never actually be released will be ...
sept 3 in idea barrages
Some cast i-Ching, some consult cards, some watch stars. I guess I dabble in frequomancy. I hit scan on the radio and listen for songs speaking to my situation. It’s silly, it probably means no...
sept 2 in idea barrages
If you’re having pumpkin spice anything before there’s actual pumpkins with which to make actual fresh pumpkin syrup, you aren’t having a “pumpkin spice” nothing, you’re paying Starbucks extra ...
keyword: inhibition, title: letters from the evolutionary war in misc. flash fiction
I couldn’t tell you the full chemical name, I can’t even write it, let alone pronounce it. Tetra-hydro-morpho-something. I’m no scientist, I can’t pretend to be. Most called it its marketing name...
sept opener in idea barrages
Your line of marijuana-infused chicken nuggets will be called “Fat Nugz”. You will be a billionaire. The realization that Sublime “bad fish” and 4 Non Blondes “what’s up” are the exact same s...
august capstone in idea barrages
A Shakespeare inspired craft beer called Lambic Pentameter. If you like NY style pizza, Chicago style pizza, California style pizza, all kinds of pizza, you are panpizza. If you have an ove...
small wonders in poetry
Don’t let your world get small. Don’t hole yourself up inside an idea or an identity. Don’t hole yourself up between four literal walls. Nothing will drive you crazier than if you letting you...
the moral event horizon in poetry
don’t think of yourself as a “good person” think of yourself as a person trying to be good if you believe you’re good you’ll probably get lazy possibly lose perspective or even worse yet be...
on grounds of insanity (part 1) in poetry
Sentences that make total sense as a barista but sound dirty anywhere else: “My apologies, I need to grind in front of your face for a minute or two.” Sentences that make total sense as a b...
rolling for initiative in poetry
my mother was a healer who should’ve been a leader my father was a blacksmith who should’ve been a bard had an ex who went to Sage but then she turned the page I’m just a jack-off of all tr...
aug 30 in idea barrages
In the “Peter Porker, Spider-Ham” universe, I sure as hell hope that Moon Knight was a cow named Moo Knight. Sentences that make total sense as a barista but sound dirty anywhere else: “I’m s...
aug 29 in idea barrages
If Meatless Mondays are helping to clean up the Earth, imagine the internet with Memeless Mondays. No, actually the best name of all for a country-western drag queen would simply be “Tanya Tu...
keyword: pestilent, title: insufficient funds in misc. flash fiction
The baseball team that I follow isn’t very good. I mean that literally, the Mets aren’t very good, they’re interesting but flawed, they’ll win more than they’ll lose, they just won’t finish anywh...
aug 28 in idea barrages
Whenever a video has a hover-over for “click to enlarge” I always first read it as “click to enrage” which would be more honest to the nature of the internet, really. I don’t know exactly wha...
aug 27 in idea barrages
The 1950s horror B-movie about my life would be called THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN’T SLEEP. I had the dream again, where I led a coup at Saturday Night Live to actually try to be funny instead of j...
aug 26 in idea barrages
To inhale your own vomit and choke on it is called “aspirating”. Whenever our consumer culture is defended as “aspirational” it always makes a kind of sense the speaker doesn’t intend, choking ...
aug 25 in idea barrages
A mash-up of Clapton’s “Let It Rain” and that “Jesus Is Just All Right” song. Similar structures. Someone got violently ill at the costume party so, thinking quickly, the hostess turned to th...
aug 24 in idea barrages
Your imaginary friend controls her OCD with a figment spinner. Being a Mets fan is being at the casino and considering betting against them as a reverse jinx in hope of helping them beat a mu...
aug 23 in idea barrages
You may be sick of my warnings against cloning forest animals but it bears repeating. Part man, part stonefruit, all cop. APRICOP. Look, I liked Spidey in the MCU too but this is two mega-c...
aug 22 in idea barrages
The pirates raided the zoological research vessel with a hearty cry of CHIMPS AHOY! A mash-up of the Butthole Surfers’ song “Pepper” and the Soundgarden song “Black Hole Sun” called BUTTHOLE...
aug 21 in idea barrages
Oscar Meyer, upon witnessing his son Nathan’s murder: “Kahn’s!!!” An ad using the song “I’ve got the world on a string” in an ad for tampons. The key to understanding how I use social medi...
Translated to English, the creature I called Frank asked the group “Focus just on the scents for a moment, what are the background smells?” “Patchouli,” one student said. “Burning sage,” said ano...
aug 20 in idea barrages
Whenever I see a bar referred to as “Such and Such Taproom” I always first read it as “Such and Such Tampon”. For those businesses sales, I hope I’m the only one. I just realized that when th...
aug 19 in idea barrages
A head canon where the other parents in THE BRADY BUNCH both faked their deaths to get away from their awful children and hooked up with each other to have awesome adventures. I think I call it...
aug 18 in idea barrages
When I was a little boy, they yelled at me all the time because my eyes were always in a magazine. Now they yell at kids for being on their phones and woulda thought me urbane. It’s all cycles,...
